I was just beginning to trust you...

Hi

2010-09-15T21:43:00.001+03:00

I might still write something here every now and then because I really liked this blog, but for now I'm writing in my Finnish blog @ http://nightmaresinblackandwhite.blogspot.com

Forget about age, it's just a number...

2010-05-01T22:22:00.002+03:00

Happy birthday to me! It's my umpteenth 22nd birthday. ;þ

Spring is for growing stuff!

2010-04-25T23:29:00.006+03:00

So a while back I had this idea that I wanted to grow my own chilipeppers and mini tomatoes, and now I've got the tools! \(^_^)/ It took a really long time to get started, cause I didn't know where I'd get the proper seeds and I wasn't really actively looking either. I guess I could've just used seeds from the actual veggies, duh, but I wanted to get ones that were ment to be potted plants.

Earlier this week I randomly came across some cool seeds while looking for the netting, and despite their salty prices, I got three bags of the expensive seeds: cherry tomatoes, chilipeppers and red peppers. Then the next day I got some of your basic kitchen herbs as well as one packet of flower seeds, cause these were a lot cheaper.

Now, if you know me, you know I like round, soft objects, so when it comes to bowls and vases, it's hard for me to find the kinds I like, especially in the proper colours. However, I had bought three cheap black plastic pots and some dirt to start my teeny tiny indoor-garden, when I came across these really cute neon-coloured buckets and just had to get them! ^^ The big one's got the flowers in it, the two tiny buckets have some herbs in them, and the three plastic ones are guarding the more expensive stuff.

All except the peppers were designed to be planted in April-May, so I'm on schedule with those and late on the peppers. I hope they'll start to grow... I've wanted to grow stuff in my kitchen and in the balcony for as long as I can remember... My green thumb just happens to be located in the middle of my palm, I've even managed to kill cacti...f^^;

P.S. Here's what's growing just outside our door. ^^

Things might work out afterall

2010-04-21T23:28:00.008+03:00

New stuff! New home! New life! New everything! \(^_^)/

I don't need to stress about things like crazy anymore, at least appartment-wise, since I managed to get the perfect home last week. ♥ I still need to figure out how to get all my stuff there, but I've got until the end of May. Oh, and a job would be great, but that's going to be easier to organize once I get there.

So on Friday my dad and I headed to Tampere with Miss Bunnyhopp and my ex. We stopped on the way for burgers, and got there with some time to spare, so we checked out how long it is to Miss Bunnyhopp's new home and got something to munch on from the store. Then it was time to check out my new place! ^^

The owners were this really nice old couple, and it turned out they hadn't planned any other viewings of the appartment. The place is really nice, on the second floor, with a balcony (yay, flowers!), a bathtub (insert a sigh of uttermost comfort here) with water fee included in the monthly rent, a clothesroom, lots of closet space and a cute little kitchen with a folding table. Suffised to say, me is happy. ^^

I've started packing, I've sold stuff, but I've STILL got to get rid of a lot of stuff. I'm such a hamster! T___T I know I've got a lot of clothes that I'm just going to throw away to some flea market or something, and the other day I exchanged some of my old magazines and comics to new manga.

The rat shelf is now black, and I've got some netting for the doors, so it's starting to look pretty good. ^^ Still need to buy all the "appliances", and figure out who's got the kind of ratties I'm looking for.

I've found all the towels I wanted, all black and shades of blue. ^^ The dishes are a bit harder to come across, everything's pink or blue or just pure white. Sucks, cause I really want black and purple. Oh well, can't win them all. I found these pretty striped black sheets earlier this week, they were on sale too. ^^

I'm hoping dad'll figure out what to do with my dining room chairs. I have four of them, and they all need to be re-glued, repainted and re-upholstered. I'm thinking black and perhaps purple, or maybe just black pleather. At the moment they are pale wood with red cushions, and squeek when sat in.

The plan with Haru at the moment is to leave her with my ex-boyfriend. I got Haru when we were still living together, so she's kinda his pet too. This would be the least stressful option for her, so it's good.

I'm having a birthday/going away party in a week with Miss Bunnyhopp. Invitations only, we're going for early dinner at Amarillo first, and then heading back our place for some booze, drinking games and partying our pants off! Miss Bunnyhopp has been going on and on about a burlesque -themed party, so at least us birhday girls are going with that one. I want to make us a cake, and I think it's going to be a boob, muahahaa.

Speaking of cakes, I've been practising using gelatine. So far I've made two cheesecakes and one "jelly" cake, and they all turned out pretty good. ^^ Here's some pictures of them. The first one has white chocolate and orange in it with very thin orange topping, the second one is a darker cookie base with vanilla cream cheese in it and a mango topping, and the third one is all blueberry, except instead of cream I used vanilla whip. Deeelicious! ^^

No fancy decorations, cause I made them just for fun. Maybe when I'll actually make a cake for some party or something I'll be bothered with all that stuff.

By the way, I'm really glad people like my hair, since I've never had it fully black before. It's still really short, but it's getting better. ^^

Here ratty ratty ratty...♥

2010-04-13T17:10:00.007+03:00

Blah, it's been a while again. -__- I've bought some new stuff, partied, and managed to sew stuff in between. Oh and stressed myself stupid trying to find an appartment and a job. So far I've got neither. =( The stress continues.

I ordered 3 pairs of fluffies from ebay, the cheapest ones I could find. I got them mainly for reference, since I've been meaning to make a pair of pretty green fluffies with matching kitty ears and a tail from this really expensive short-haired green faux fur I bought ages ago. You could see the fluffies were made really cheap, cause they weren't properly finished. The stretch part was nice though, but I had to sew the bottom flares so the fur wouldn't start falling off. Anywho, I got a pair of black ones, white ones, and bright pink ones.

Been somewhat social too since I last wrote here, on the 27th I first went to my Aunt's 50th birthday, and have to say was quite shocked to discover myself in the middle of the freaking forest in Ylihärmä, surrounded by my relatives and their offspring, as well as a karaoke machine. Brr.

On the same day I also went to a party arranged by my newly married friends who were celebrating their birthdays and their marriage at the same time. It was nice, until WoW-talk kicked in again. I was pretty out of it, feeling very airheaded even though I hadn't had even one drink by then. [The couple is religious, so their parties are always alcohol-free, which is fine by me, but do we have to talk about stupid computer games? -__- Sorry, but not my cup of tea.] People were talking about going to a gig later on, and I decided to join them. Had to leave the party quite early, cause I got there late in the first place, but in the end people gathered at my place, even people who weren't really invited. Grr. -__-#

We managed to convince Miss Bunnyhopp to join us as well, and she and I started getting ready. I couldn't decide what to wear again, and after trying a couple of outfits I ended up wearing the same clothes I had on before. Typical. Our uninvited guests insisted that we get to the club by ten [I never go anywhere until midnight...-___-], which annoyed Miss Bunnyhopp and I, cause our plan was just to get wasted. :þ We managed to chug down some booze before being rushed off our own freaking home, how rude!

At the club Miss Bunnyhopp and I ended up being bored out of our skulls and drinking the cheapest stuff available. Didn't like the warm-up bands there, so Miss Bunnyhopp and I had our own fun. Unfortunately she had been feeling somewhat under the weather the whole day, and ended up leaving before the main band started. I didn't let that get me down, and ended up partying the whole gig through. Machinae Supremacy, that is, forgot to mention who we went to see. xP I don't even know much of their songs, but it was great to dance and pounce to! I had loads of fun, and that's the main point. ^^ Unfortunately I don't have any pictures, cause I forgot my camera home throughout the whole day.

The second gig I went to was at the same club, and we went there after my friend's birthday party on the 3rd of April. I wasn't really planning on going anywhere but home after the party, but was easily persuaded. Tarot was playing, but their opening band had cancelled and they didn't even play my favourite song, so it kinda sucked. Meh, can't always win. I have pictures from this gig, but apparently I'd had enough liquor that night cause they're all blurry except for this one. Last Thursday we went to Tuuri with my mom and Miss Bunnyhopp. I didn't really find anything special, except for the shoes I bought from one of the shoe stores next to Keskinen. My very first pair of landing boots, white ones too! Miss Bunnyhopp couldn't believe I've never owned shoes like that before, since she's always had at least one pair. ^^; At the moment she's got red ones she bought three years ago, and the same white ones I got. I've been trying to find pretty coloured towels and bowls for my new appartment (that I don't yet have) everywhere I go, but I have shit luck. I want a turquoise -themed bathroom, so I'm trying to find new cool towels, but it isn't as easy as you might think, especially since I don't want to spend a fortune on them. It so happens, that when we got back to Seinäjoki and visited Anttila, I found two really big soft pretty towels and they were on sale, yay! ^^
I've already got normal plates and sandwhich plates waiting, but I'm desperate to find cereal bowls and soup plates. I like really soft round shapes, and there aren't the types of bowls I want anywhere. Well, at least not in the colour I'd hope to find them, which is black, purple or lilac. Grr!

I've finally managed to find a good-sized bookshelf that I'm going to transform into a dwelling for my future pets. I love Haru to bits, but lets face it, she's already 2yrs 2½mnths old, and she won't live to see another winter. =/ So here's the shelf, I forgot to take a picture of it after buying it, it had glass doors on the other half (which is on the bottom here for some reason), and just a shelf on the other. The picture is also missing the two actual shelf-pieces. I want it to be black though, and since it's not real hard wood but some plastic coated woodlike shit, I have to use sandpaper and an undercoat paint before the actual black paint, which means the whole thing is going to cost me shitload of money, but at least it'll be exactly the way I want it to be. Also need to find doors to it, buy a running wheel, and food bowls. Yes, I'm preparing for teeny tiny blue ratbabies. ♥ ^^
I am so freaking stressed out I'm going mental. I need to find a job and I need an appartment, but they're all really expensive and finding a job is shit right now. Hopefully I'll get something. It doesn't help either that I'm in the middle of my school project(s) right now, and the next due date is tomorrow. We'll have to cut the fabric tomorrow, and there's some paperwork that goes with it as well. I can't finish the damn project either, since we have to have something to sew on the 28th, cause there'll be people watching our progress at school. -___- Annoying, I thought I'd be done with the whole thing by now. *sigh*

Miss Bunnyhopp lucked out, and got a really nice appartment from a fellow Seinäjoki resident who owns a small flat in Tampere. She also got a job working at the same place where her sister works, so she's all set for the future. I cannot believe my shitty luck about all this! I wish I'd win the fucking lottery, so I could just buy a home of my own, get a car, and be set for quite a long time. -__-# Hey, at least I fill out the coupon every week, I've at least got a snowball's chance in Hell....*sigh*

My Lippy finally arrived!! \(^_^)/ I love the skirt with the separate leg things, but am kinda worried the skirt part would hike up during intense stomping. O__o I wasn't too happy with the hoodie though, and with the two of them put together I looked like a freaking space alien! I'm going to sell the hoodie. I wonder what the skirt would have looked like in all-black...

I hope you've mixed up your mud-cocktails...

2010-04-01T22:36:00.004+03:00

As some of you may know, yesterday was April Fools day, hence the previous post.

I'm not a lesbian, not even bisexual, and neither is Miss Bunnyhopp, so lets get that cleared out right now. :þ Not that there's anything wrong with homosexuality, I'm open to all relationships as long as both partners truly care for each other. Like a friend of mine said, it's not the sex you fall in love with, it's the person.

Anywho, I love to fuck with people's minds, and I actually came up with the story about a week ago. I wanted to post it earlier as a type of friendship test, to see how many of our friends would actually believe it to be true, how many of them would be happy for us.You know, find out who our real friends are. I decided to wait until April 1st though, because I thought it would make a nice gag at the same time. :þ

Sorry guys, I just couldn't resist. I didn't mean to offend anyone either, so I'm sorry if I've upset someone. I know a lot of you guys did end up gongratulating us in Facebook, and even though the story was fake, I really appreciate all your nice words. You guys rock.♥

SUMMARY: It was a prank, probably not a good one, but a prank nonetheless, I loves the cock! :þ

The Truth is Out There

2010-04-01T00:40:00.004+03:00

Miss Bunnyhopp wanted us to wait until we've moved to Tampere, but I'm too happy to hide this anymore. I'm in love!

You see, we've both been hurt by the men we cared about. We've also always been there for each other. And now, after all our disappointments... We've found each other. It's perfect! We're already best friends, we know what the other is thinking about, and we complete each other's sentences.

Why did we think it best to keep it a secret from you, dear friends? Because we know how your religion affects your thoughts on this matter. We also know that you don't think very highly of us as it is.

This is one of the reasons we want to leave Seinäjoki and our old lives behind. We're afraid of your judgemental opinions on our happiness, and we want to start fresh. The plan is still to move to Tampere, but in the same appartment, with a mutual rental agreement, as a couple. Lunatic the Bunny will of course be living with us, and Haru the Hammy as well, if only she makes it through the summer.

All I ask of you is to wish us luck with our new life. No hard feelings! ♥

It's all about the "he says - she says" -bullshit

2010-03-22T22:22:00.008+02:00

I cannot remember when I've last been this pissed off. I have been cussing like sailor all day. I think it's a combination of me feeling really ill and weak, and having forgotten my anti-depressants too many mornings in a row, and the fact that Mr. Insanely Tall turned out to be a real douchebag, and I'm angry that he managed to hurt Miss Bunnyhop.

Yeah, I've been lazy with my blog too. I was so bummed out about not being able to use my camera, so I didn't feel like posting anything either, especially since transferring pictures from my cell phone to my laptop was such a pain in the ass. But now my camera is back! Or more like, the battery charger is back, my dad was able to fix it. ^^ Hooray!

I've been sick for two days now. I don't feel like eating, I feel nauseous, weak, dizzy, and my arms and hands keep feeling numb. I think I caught a bug somewhere, and then me having neglected both my asthma and depression meds is adding up to the cocktail. In short, it sucks to be me right now.

I had a really fun Saturday though, I asked my mom to help me make a dress form, cause I can't afford to buy a real fitting doll. We ended up shopping and then talking for quite a long time, and eventually didn't have the energy to start the dress form. Instead, I made Miss Bunnyhopp try out the project this morning, but it turns out, it wasn't the best idea when we're both feeling under the weather... We managed to start it to a degree, but eventually I had to be cut loose, cause I felt like I would pass out. I think I'll still be able to continue working on the same one once I feel better.

The sweater was half-off, and I spotted the bag in Anttila a week or two ago, and I've been longing for it ever since...mom was kind enough to get it for me! Love!

I haven't been doing much lately, the same old same old. When I couldn't do anything fun yesterday, I went trough a lot of my stuff and found things I didn't even remember I had. Since it was pretty clear I wouldn't use a lot of the stuff before, I put most of it up for auction at huuto.net, and already sold some of the stuff. ^^ I've been continuing on that today, and have almost listed everything.

I need to spend tomorrow on my school projects, since I skipped school and had a nice nap instead. I was happy to discover I was feeling much better after I woke up, and even managed to avoid the usual nap headache I tend to get for sleeping during daytime. The first evaluation for the project is on Wednesday, so I need to have everything ready by then. I've got the basic pattern ready, I just need to draw the adjusted ones, make a couple more sketches, and fill out all the paperwork.

Oh, I would've gotten a summer job at Atria again this year, but I wouldn't have been able to start there until mid-June, so I had to turn it down. I'm hoping I've left Assjoki behind me by then, so I would've only been available for a couple of weeks anyways. I really wish they'd read the applications instead of just looking for familiar names...-__-

Okay, I guess that's all for now, I think I'm going to head back to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

P.S. I've really got quite a talent at cropping pictures so that it seems like I'm a fat duck. *heart*

PPS. My nose is massive, thanks for noticing.

Materialism

2010-03-07T09:30:00.007+02:00

NOTE: My camera is still unavailable, so all the pictures have been taken with my cellphone. -___- Also the reason, why I haven't posted earlier; I have to use Bluetooth to access the pics...and I hate Bluetooth, the fucking thing keeps crashing over and over again. Hate.

Anyways. Picture time! Here's a random shot of a suit of armour they had at the fabric retailer's. I don't really know why they had it though, or why it has two extra swords, one of them a Japanese knock-off...O_o

A couple of days ago Miss Bunnyhopp brought me three of her skirts, and said I could have them all for 50e, if they fit and if I wanted them, otherwise she'd sell them over the internet. I tried them on, and they all fit! \(^_^)/ I got this really hot tiny Lip Service black and silver mini skirt. I haven't cheched what the actual name of the line is, so I'll post that later. I can't really wear this in public yet, my tummy is too big. xP

The other one was a long black fishtail skirt made of black denim, I think it's from Morticia? It's a little too short, but I'm thinking about adding some ruffly to the hem to give it a bit more length. The skirt has a button with a bat on it, and some screw-like metal details in the front and back.

The third skirt is from Body Line in Japan, and it's more of a gothic lolita/emo/Harajuku kind of skirt. It's got a lot of layers, and while I was taking pictures of it, the text "The kitty's eyes were full of mischief. Mischievous kitty's playclothes." caught my eye. That's Japan for you! ;P It's still really nice, even with the random garter holders in the front.

Miss Bunnyhopp and I have been cleaning our closets, gathering stuff we no longer need. I'm planning to move to Tampere in about 3 months, so I really need to get rid of all my excess junk! We scheduled the local recycling centre to come get the stuff we can't sell anywhere, so now we're down 1 sofa (my soft green sofa, that I got for free in the first place. Too big to fit anywhere, that's why it was in our kitchen! xD), 1 chest of drawers (best translation atm), and 9 bags of clothes, shoes, plushies etc.! Getting rid of some of that stuff made me really sad, cause I had to give up a lot of plushies, and many of them were gifts. People tend to give me plushies as gifts, so I have a TON of them! I just can't keep all of them, I'm too old anyways! xP

My brother gave me this for Christmas a couple years back, losing this makes me feel so damn guilty...=( It's such a silly cat! *heart*

I bought this pineapple plushie in Okinawa, and it's been with me ever since...it was my best tangible souvenir from Okinawa, I really hope I get to go back there one day....*sniff*

This moose plushie is really old, I got it one Christmas from Mikichan. I still saved the tiny card though! *heart*

I'm also selling a bunch of stuff, and here's some of the clothes I have for sale.

PunkyFish black and red college shirt, size about S-small M. This one was my sister's, and it's too small for me. =(

Then there are these two gorgeous gothic lolita dresses, brand new! I have only tried them on, and I loved especially the purple one, but I just can't afford to keep them right now! I really need the cash, so I'm selling them away. =(

If the clothes look a bit silly, it's because the fitting doll isn't mine and is too small for these clothes. Yeah, Miss Bunnyhopp is really skinny! T_T Also, I didn't put a crinoline skirt underneath the dresses, so they look really flat. They're a lot poofier and prettier with a crinoline underneath. ^^

A pink poofy and soft petticoat. Really pretty, but I just don't use it enough. =/

Black leather belt with tiger print starts, too small for me. Size 34".

If you're interested in any of these, click on the links for more details.

Identity

2010-03-02T21:11:00.006+02:00

I spent a lot of time with my mom yesterday, which was really nice. We went to the supermarket and just wandered around, picking up this and that and talking about food and dieting and everything. And I found champagne sorbet for sale, 10e cheaper than the regular price, so I was finally able to taste it! \(^_^)/ I picked up quite a lot of food, so it was nice, gets me throught the rest of the week. ^^

Then we went to Seppälä, where I wanted to get this really pretty black little jacket I saw in someone else's blog. Apparently they've had the jacket for quite some time already, but I haven't seen it before. It was only after I saw a picture of it I discovered it, so to speak, and felt I really needed to try it on and possibly buy it. And it was really nice! ^^ The only thing that surprised me was that the material was college, from the picture I thought it was something heavier. It's still really nice, and the style is so nice I think I'm going to draw patterns from it, so I can make another one. ^^ It even had long sleeves! \(^_^)/ Mom bought it for me, as well as a pair of sale tights.

I spent yesterday evening braiding purple curly dreads into Miss Bunnyhopp's hair, and got a really sore wrist as a result. =( It really sucks, cause my left shoulder has been acting up since Monday morning, and I can't get the pain to go away massaging or strecthing the shoulder, and even my pain gel doesn't help. =( I think it's mainly because I've had my laptop next to my bed for quite some time now, and I mostly use it lying down. This combined with a poor sleeping position, and voilá, you've got a really sore shoulder. =(

Miss Bunnyhopp and I were supposed to go to the gym this morning, but she's not feeling too well, I think she's caught a cold, so we'll try again tomorrow. I know, I could've gone by myself, but I want to see if she's feeling any better tomorrow. If not, I'm still going to go, and try to resist the urge to sit in the steam sauna... I should stay away from the pools as well, but I think I'm going to go to the warm pool to try and massage my shoulder, hoping that would help even a little bit.

I've started a diet cause I've gained so much weight since November, with the antidepressants and all the Xmas candy. My first goal is to lose that weight, and if I succeed in that, then continue towards my ideal weight. I signed up for this free dieting website, and am keeping a journal of everything I eat, and all the excercise I do. So far there's pretty much nothing in the excercise column, but hey, at least I'm trying. My wrist is still acting up, so I'm also trying to stay away from the computer.

Which I tried to do by cleaning up in the kitchen. I did the dishes, I cleaned the fridge (!! I can't remember if we cleaned it up even when we moved in here, so it was pretty gross. I'm so proud of myself! ^^), looked into our shelves of baking stuff, and threw out a lot of the old stuff in there.

My piercings are doing mostly fine at the moment. My tongue has been okay ever since I switched the 16mm barbell to a 14mm one, I never had any problems with my first lip ring, and the second one has healed up nicely after I took it out (still annoyed by that, but I liked having just one anyway, so it's all good), my bellybutton is slightly better, though still pretty ugly and crooked (because there's a weird almost-a-lump next to the top hole, and it's grown out a little bit), and my nipple piercing is still new, so it's too early to tell. It doesn't really hurt unless I poke it, so I'm really hoping it heals up nicely and causes me no problems. I miss my industrial, but that one's been gone over a year now. =/I wish I still had five earrings, but that can't really be helped either. I'm too much of a wimp to pierce my own ears, and I REALLY don't have the cash to go get them redone. =/

I'm still waiting for information on our Lip Service pre-order, and trying to keep the money for that separated from the money I can actually use. It's quite hard, cause I'm not sure how much the clothes will actually cost me, but that should all clear up pretty soon. I hope... I need to replace the piercing money to my stash, and since I've spent more than 2e on sweets last week, I have to add 10e to that. *sigh* Money money money...I wish I had some.

By the way, I finally ordered a dance mat, now that I found the one I've been searching for. It's quite expensive, cause it comes with the game In the Groove (ITG), but it was the cheapest one available, and I've been wanting one for like two years now. At least it'll pay itself back in a way, if I do even a couple songs with it every day. I think it's the most fun excercise I can think of, well, outside of bed anyways...;P

Vodka, we need some vodka... ;)

2010-03-01T01:05:00.005+02:00

I had a really good week. ^^

We started out second school project on Monday, and I'm finishing my first project simultaneously. Miss Bunnyhopp and I kept giggling at school, cause we're doing the same sort of projects and we're actually each other's clients as well. Still not too fond of the "new" students. I can't remember if I have mentioned this or not, but seven (?) new students started at our school in the beginning of February. They are all older than me, and quite annoying. There's not enough sowing machines to go around anymore, and we need to start getting there really early, cause both Miss Bunnyhopp and I have these sowing machines we've been using throughout the year, and I really hate it when someone's "stolen" my seat there. Grr!

Tuesday morning we hit the gym, I haven't been all that active in a long time, so it was good. I got a little sick there though, I'm not sure if it was because it was so early for me or what, but luckily I felt a lot better after I sat in the steam sauna and swam for a while. I miss the steam sauna at the swimming pool, so I have to keep going back. ^^ I also found this really cool coat pattern, but didn't quite copying it for myself yet.

On Wednesday we got to go to the wholesale fabric outlet from school. I spent about 120e on fabrics! T__T But I bought this really nice black wool mix so I can make myself a new coat for next winter. I got purple fur to go with it, the kind the local Eurokangas claims doesn't even exist. It's funny how they had it in their store in Tampere though...*grumble* Then I got 3metres of this kinda wine coloured pinstripe fabric, that I'm gonna try and make a Lip Service -styled top and skirt from. Miss Bunnyhopp found this nice black fabric for a shirt, but she didn't like the fact that the bottom of the fabric had this pattern on it, so I took a look, and I liked it, so we're going to split that so we can both use it for a nice top. ^^ They had basic black stretch jean fabric too, so I stocked up on that, cause I want a couple of nice new short skirts, and maybe a long one too. Lets see....was that it? I can't think of anything else, so probably yes.

Miss Bunnyhopp and I kept on giggling about stuff, cause she brought up the subject of piercings again, and I was spot on when guessing which one she wanted next: nipple piercings. xD I kept going "Well you can go ahead and get them done, but I sure as hell won't join you there! I'll come hold your hand, but that's it" and then the next morning... "I kinda want one too now...^^:" Then I borrowed the money from my stash of emergency money, and we headed out to see if our favourite artist had any time for us. We had to spend an hour, so we visited our friend at H&M, where she is doing her internship. It was fun, and I found nice new stockings, a stripy pair, and a dotted pair, both black. Then we went to the tattoo parlour, and Miss Bunnyhopp got her piercings first. They looked really nice, but I was soo fricking scared! I have very, ehm, sensitive nipples, so I knew it would hurt pretty bad. And it did, I screamed, but after about an hour or two it was completely fine. After the actual piercing process, this has been a surprisingly painless one so far! \(^_^)/ I still think I'm not going to get another one...I wasn't even supposed to get this one!! The guy laughed at us when we said that I was kinda doing this out of sympathy. I told Miss Bunnyhopp that once she decides to get things down south pierced, I'm gonna pass! xP

Thursday evening was also the long-awaited Sonata Arctica concert. I was surprised at how many of my friends were going. Miss Bunnyhopp had already decided to come with me, and my ex and I had made this promise to hang out together at the concert a long time ago, so the 3 of us headed there together. I knew my cousins would be there too, and I actually spotted them before and after the gig. We had a pretty nice spot, well, I at least could see the stage quite well. I decided to stay on the drinking side, since there was no age limit to this event, and I got really sick of hanging out with the kids in Kemi last August. I learned my lesson! xP The only bummer was that my charger had died, and I have absolutely no batteries for my camera now. Miss Bunnyhopp found me a pair or regular batteries, but they don't really last too long. I was too far away from the stage to get good pictures too, so that's quite of a bummer, but at least I tried. I'm still without Tommy's drum stick though, which makes me really sad. Ten years and no drum stick, and I love Master Tommy....*sniff* The gig was amazing though, as always. I just can't get over the first gig I went to in Oulu, back in 2002 autumn or 2003 spring, I can't remember which. That was by far the best Sonata gig I've been to, and I've been to quite a few...my first one was either in 2000 or 2001, I can't be sure, cause my memory is like a cheese with big holes in it....but I'll always remember that gig, it's when I got autographs from Henkka, Tommy, and Jani, who even said how pretty I was...=^.^= I was wearing crimson while everyone else was wearing black. ;P

On Friday I felt like I had a hangover, even though I only had two long drinks before the gig. I had been going to bed really early the whole week, so it really screwed up my sleep cycle, which made me all zombielike on Friday. I spent the day looking like a bum, and failed to get to my exercise classes! >x3 We had a movie night with some friends, and I was under the impression that one of them had 'The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus' on DVD (I discovered only afterwards that it doesn't come out until the end of March), cause it's one of the movies I really wanted to see this year. Well, in the end we couldn't watch the movie, and watched some French movie instead, it was really funny and cool. Then we watched 'Black Dynamite' and some random stuff from the TV. Everyone headed back home at midnight.

I was bumming around on Saturday as well, until 10 to 5 pm, when my ex asked if I needed a lift to the anime club game night. I hadn't confirmed whether I'd go or not, but decided to go anyways. It was quite nice, even though people are still mostly interested in talking about World of Warcraft, which I couldn't care less about. I got to do some more ITG, and even drew a nice little anime girl from a model picture. It was a nice evening, but I don't really want to get into more details about it. ;P

I am really bummed about not being able to use my camera. If my charger really is broken, I have to get a new one, and I can't really afford to buy stuff right now. I always keep my camera with me, and I always have a pair of charged batteries, so I'm feeling...naked without it. =(

Man, I've been such a slob this week, I really need to pick up the pace and clean up tomorrow...good night! ^^;

Kryptonite pt. 2

2010-02-22T14:50:00.013+02:00

It seems I have gotten lazy lately. Well nothing new there! xP

Miss Bunnyhopp seems to spend all her weekends in Jyväskylä, so I have the whole appartment to myself. *heart* Not that I really do much anyways, but last week I tried some new baking -related stuff. ^^ I had been surfing baking blogs, and since people make it seem so easy, I decided to try royal icing (pikeeri) decorations for future use. I even bought a couple of tyllas (I'll figure out what these are called in English eventually) to try out, although so far I only used the rose one.

Well, making the royal icing was easy enough, and getting it into a freezer bag worked out without being too messy as well. But then the whole easy and artistic part...yeah, turns out it's actually really really hard! T__T I wanted to make pretty flowers, roses and hearts, but since I couldn't, I gave up and made weirdo hearts, piles-o-poop and satanic crosses instead, lol! I had lavender and black pasta dye, and at first I used just a couple of drops of the lavender one to get the lighter shade, and then tried making the icing black, but got dark grey instead. I read that you could use liquorice sauce to make your icing darker, and then use the black pasta dye to actually get a black result, but I didn't know how it would affect the texture of the icing, so I didn't even buy any liquorice sauce.

I was planning on making blueberry-white chocolate muffins, and then decorating them with dyed buttercream and putting my royal icing decorations on top, but I was too lazy to even bake the muffins!! Shame on me. -___- Well, at least I've still got all the ingredients, so I'll be able to make them this week. Gambarimasu! [Sorry, I've been thinking about Japan a bit lately, and it seems I'm picking up on some of the phrases again...man I wish I was still in Inage! T__T]

The weekend before last turned out to be quite nice, even though I was feeling all angsty about it. The anime club had an allnighter again, only this time it was from 18pm to 4am. I ended up getting there around 11pm, and hang out with Mr. Pirate, Kawaiianimekun, and Weirdomon the whole time. I stayed there until the very end, and had brough my Eeyore plushie with me to use as pillow if I got too tired. Turned out there was nothing on that I wanted to watch, so I was just chatting with people and played a little ITG as well. It was quite nice, I stayed until the end and got to bed around 5am.

Then on Sunday evening my ex asked if I wanted to go watch a movie with some people, and since I had nothing better to do, I went there. We watched 'Night Watch' [Nochnoy Dozor] and 'Day Watch' [Dnevnoy Dozot], both of which I've seen before. Man I wish they had put the cool subtitles of Nightwatch on the DVD! I still prefer Day Watch over Night Watch, maybe because I've seen the first one so many times now, or maybe because I find the whole vortex thing around Sveta so fricking annoying. -__- I felt really awkward the whole evening too, because we were at Mr. Bisexual & his girlfriend's place, and it was just them, Mr. Pirate, my ex and me. Talk about weird...especially since I have nothing in common with the hosts of the evening, and the awkward tension between people...maybe it was just me, but I didn't feel too comfortable. But hey, they had 3 cats for me to focuse on! ^^;

Last Saturday I went to club Karma with Mr. Moviefan and Miss Marvellous, and met up with my ex there. The whole reason I went out was that there's a Burlesque Tour going on around Finnish clubs, and I wanted to see the Queens of Tease. ^^ And they were fabulous! I didn't really catch any of their names though, but the second performer of the evening was clearly the best. She was also the thinnest, but not necessarily the prettiest IMO. My favourite act was by a girl dressed up as Minnie Mouse, it was funny and cute and sexy, of course! ^^ I didn't care too much for the really tall blonde woman, but I was very happy to see that the French guest star was just as chubby as I am, she even had a C-section scar on her belly! She was wearing blue and performed to a Disney's Little Mermaid song 'Under the Sea', which I found quite amusing. I got to the first row during the last performance of the 3 prettiest girls, which was a really fun act. I took pictures of the girls, but unfortunately they all turned out really blurry. =( Oh and I got called a lesbian by this random "show me yer tits!" dork, who wanted me to take pictures of him rather than the performers. Needless to say I ignored the twat and focused on the show. I loved the corsets, the dresses, the shoes, the hair...*heart* Fuck school, fuck edumacation, fuck "normal" line of work, I'm gonna be a burlesque dancer! ;P

Sorry about the name-dropping, I don't want to refer to people by their real names, and I'm not too keen on using their eg. IRC-Galleria names either, so I keep making them up...sometimes even I'm not sure who I'm referring to! *giggle*

Oh and Note to self: Not a great idea to go out partying with people including your ex. It still sucks to see them chatting with other girls. Twat! -__-

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand? I'd keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

Cookiemonster

2010-02-13T18:11:00.005+02:00

I haven't baked in aeons, and I'm trying to start again. So far I've only made a couple batches of chocolate chip cookies, the first ones I almost burned, and the second ones still didn't turn out the way I wanted. I clearly need to find a new recipe, preferably an American one instead of the weirdo Finnish versions I've tried. -__-

I've been sporting pretty basic pink makeup looks lately, and haven't really bothered to take pictures of those. Here's a denimy blue style I had the other day.

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day, and I've got no plans so far. Maybe I'll just bake and plan the upcoming trip to Canada. ;P

Avatar

2010-02-13T03:35:00.005+02:00

Okay, so I really loved the movie Avatar, clearly not because of the plot (Pocahontas - in space!), but because of how colourful and beautiful they had created the na'vi and their world. I loved the flying creatures, I loved how close to nature they were and how much respect they had for all living things.

That said, this doesn't really relate to the movie, but I was playing around with some green eyeshadow, and ended up creating this strange look. Maybe one day I'll actually try and create an Avatar look of my own, but for now, here's a look I had briefly on January 22nd.

And here's what I actually left home with, realised it was time to head for school, and just wiped most of the makeup off. -__-

Life is beautiful

2010-02-03T20:48:00.004+02:00

Want to know how lonely I am? I asked my ex-boyfriend for sex, you do the math. *

I skipped school again today, I think I've missed every single Wednesday class this year, how cool is that? I woke up really early after a late night and a random 6:22 awakening. What's weird is that Miss Bunnyhopp had a similar experience at 4am, maybe there was a burglar in our house? O_o I had a doctor's appointment today, and she (yes it's a she again! *heart*) prescribed me the minipill. Hello future with no periods! *bigger heart* Well, at least that's what I'm hoping for. I just wish I wasn't kinda scared of doctors and confessing stuff (mostly about me not wanting to know the results of anything that could possibly be serious...) with them, I was supposed to have a pap smear test done a year ago, and it's still on hold...*sigh*

I'm trying to clean out my closets and slowly get rid of everything I don't need. I'll have to, if I'm going to move during the summer. I should also start saving money for a trip to Canada in August for my cousin's wedding. And I've still got that Lip Service pre-order coming, and I bought two lolita dresses online a week ago. -__-; It's weird, they sent me an email saying that they cannot actually make the dresses until March, and today I got another email saying they've shipped the dresses. O__o Very strange...

Miss Bunnyhopp is staying home this weekend, and is planning on taking me out to find me a dude. Well see what happens...wouldn't mind getting drunk, that's for sure.

Argh, I'm totally addicted to the song "Life is beautiful" by Sixx:A.M. at the moment, hence the title.

* He said 'no', by the way. How's that for a happy ending?

Hollow like my soul

2010-01-26T01:16:00.003+02:00

It really does hurt, seeing what could have been happen to someone else. I've been having these dreams, you see, about him. None of them very nice, only one I can really care to remember, and even thinking about that makes me blue. What if there's another one waiting for me when I close my eyes?

I miss him, I don't even know why... We used to talk daily for some time, I liked those conversations whether they be long or short. It pains me to know they've ceased. Why do I feel like I've been burned so badly? Is it because I really tried my hardest this time but still ended up with nothing? No-one else can see how badly I suffer because of this, I cry alone in the dark of night. I have no interest in relationships anymore. All I have is my friends, what's left of them.

~Emilie Autumn - Hollow Like My Soul~
You think that you'll get by
You will die
You will cry
When you think that you'll survive
Just don't try
Run and hide
My eyes are hollow like my soul

Just as I was walking by
My soul died
My heart cried
When you think that you'll survive
Just don't try
Run and hide
My eyes are hollow like my soul

Carnival of rust

2010-01-21T23:53:00.002+02:00

Biiig big cleaning day today. I went through both of my closets rearranging stuff, and I'm still not finished. I vacuumed my room before I started, I wish I could get the big cranberry rug outside and air it out for once, but it's too heavy for me to move let alone lift it on my own. I can't really wash my floor either, so I'll just have to settle for vacuuming for now. I need a man! -__-;

I've got too much stuff. I'm planning on getting rid of everything unnecessary, so that's why I started this whole project. I'm hoping to sell stuff that's still good, and stuff that isn't, I'll just donate to the Red Cross.

I had fun toying around with the three Models Own eyeshadows I didn't get to try out earlier, here's what I came up with. Yeah, ridiculous, but I didn't have to leave the house. Except I did, went to get some milk and two new metal "shelves" for my closet. Anyway, was just goofing around, not trying to create an actual look.The pictures are bad though. =(

Maybe tomorrow is a better day

2010-01-20T22:34:00.005+02:00

I did my eyes with the Models Own powder eyeshadows I bought last week. I used Metallic Lavender and Neon Blue, with black eyeliner and black mascara. It's nothing special, but at least you can see how nice the colours are, quite pigmented and all.

I didn't go to school today, I'm still a little under the weather, and just can't get interested in things. People keep stalking my blog even though things didn't work out with Mr. Boogieman and I, and it weirds me out a bit. I'm trying to make it sound like everything's okay even though it's not, and I don't even know why I bother. I've got two men interested in me (well, one of them is Mr. Monkey, so I don't know whether to count him in or not...), but I just can't get interested in them. I don't want to fall for anyone, I don't want to fall in love. Feelings suck. I had a crush on Mr. Boogieman, I was disappointed, and I let myself down.

I don't want to play this game anymore.

Where did I go wrong?

2010-01-17T22:35:00.008+02:00

Sorry for not being very active, I'm trying very hard to take interest in my own life...-_-;

As I mentioned before, Friday would have been my sister's 23rd birthday were she still with us. We were planning on going out to dinner, but got some donuts and chinese takeout instead. She was there in our hearts and minds, and it was nice to spend some time with my family again. My mom had just gotten a new digital camera, and I was testing it by taking pictures of our cats. I don't have any of the pictures yet, but once I get them, I'll probably post one or two.

I've got a cold again, and I've had a small fever the whole weekend and still today as well. I've gotten quite silly at times, which is always amusing to people around me. f^^;

I went to visit my cousin and her fiance in their new home in Ilmajoki on Saturday. Mom said they were going to go there since my uncle was going and the guy's parents were going there too. I wasn't too sure why everyone was going there, but I learded that it's been 4 years since they got engaged, it was on Friday the 13th of January in 2006. ^^ Surprisingly, one more family event I've missed while being away in Japan. ;P They had the most awesome cats, two orange-white boy cats called Tiku and Taku ( Chip n Dale ;) ). Tiku practically just melts in your lap once you start to pet him, so adorable! Taku was more timid, but very playful, the scratches in my arm is a proof of the fun we had together. xP

I spent Sunday just relaxing and watching movies, trying to get some rest so I can recover from this persistant flu. I managed to do my laundry and dishes too, and started drawing a pattern from my Lip Service Nano hoodie. Well, actually there wasn't too much to draw, so only the hood was missing. Not a very exciting weekend.

We walked to school on Monday again, since Miss Bunnyhopp's bike was still broken. That's okay, the walk is not actually too bad, at least when it's not too cold. I was working on the crown hoodie based on the In Vain -patterns I drew last week. I had painted a few D-rings blue, and bought some black ribbon for decoration. I was being very slow sowing the whole thing together again, so I didn't get much done, even though I stayed until the very end.

Today I attended the community college sowing class again, and kept working on my hoodie. I noticed I had brought the wrong black tricot with me, so I couldn't finish the hood. The shirt is looking pretty nice now, I need to finish the hood, attach it to the shirt, and then add the zipper and it's done. Should be finished tomorrow night. Man, I can't believe I'm such a slow worker, this really is an easy thing to do...T__T

My lip is healing nicely, I wish I could say the same about the navel piercing. =(

Here is my latest discovery, 5 powder Models Own eyeshadows from Seppälä. Neon Pink, Bright Grass, Metallic Lavender, Neon Blue and Neon Peach. I will be trying some of them tomorrow. Meanwhile, here's my today's look.

Ok, time to get some sleep.

Where were you last night

2010-01-15T00:57:00.011+02:00

Here's a picture of me before I dyed all of my hair black. Exciting, but a good pic IMO.

I didn't attend Mr. Boogieman's birthday party, and I kinda regret I didn't. Ended up waking up at 4.30pm that day, so I wouldn't even have been able get there in time, since the last possible train was just leaving. Oh well.

I ended up meeting Miss Bubbly and her boyfriend Mr. Cool instead. Miss Bubbly and I started by taking a few random pictures, then proceded to watch 'Some Like it Hot' with some drinks until the craving for pizza took over and we had to head out. Mr. Cool accompanied us, and after the pizza we went for a drink at Rokkikellari. All the long-haired dudes there were taken, bah... From there we moved on to Bar15, and I was surprised to see the place packed with people even though there was no band. I'm starting to feel old and annoyed every time I go there, because it's filled with all these young twats nowadays, some of them seem so out of place it's ridiculous. -__-

I had fun though, and didn't even spend too much money compared to how wasted I was. Always a good thing. I headed back home after that, stayed up for a bit longer, and was just planning on getting some sleep, when my phone rang once. Mr. Boogieman. I ended up calling him back, it was weird tho. I had to make sure he got home safe before falling asleep.

I spent the Sunday half waiting for Miss Bunnyhopp, half happy to be alone. Weird.

My first ever orange makeup! Yes, I did it really quickly, and it looks peachy, but it was ORANGE! I hate yellow and orange...

School continued again on Monday, and Miss Bunnyhopp and I ended up walking there, since her bike is broken. I drew patterns from my Lip Service In Vain -hoodie, and then cut this black tricot with blue crown patterns, I'm going to replicate the hoodie. I need to spray paint some of my D-rings tho, and figure out what I'll use as trim.

The hoodie in question. The sign was weird somehow, but you can't see it from this picture. There was more than one dude in it. O_o

Tuesday started with a sore throat. My parents came to visit, and I got new mittens and socks that my mom had made. *heart* I kept babbling on about rats, if nothing else, I was left with a new-found appreciation towards the critters from my thing with Mr. Boogieman. I'm planning on getting a pair of lady ratties once an acquaintance of mine has a new litter. I love Haru to bits, but I need to face the facts, and it's almost her 2nd birthday. I'm also thinking about setting up a similar cage for the rats that Mr. Boogieman had, it's a really good solution spacewise.

I picked up the paperwork I need so that I can attend community classes for free this spring. I'm only attending one class though, one that's arranged by Miss Bunnyhopp's mom, more sowing for me. I didn't attend the class yet though, I need to plan what I'm doing a little more. Okay, I was just being tired and lazy.

I skipped school on Wednesday, cause I felt worse. I'm getting a cold again, which totally sucks ass. I think it's due to my other heater not working, my room is really cold. My bed is also next to the heater that works, so I can't have it too hot. Oh and speaking of my bed, it's fucking falling apart! The bottom boards are falling off, and the fricking thing is only one year old! Pisses me off, my first proper bed too.

Miss Bunnyhopp left for Jyväskylä again this morning, so I'm spending the weekend alone. Which is fine for me. I won't be attending the last Schatten party in Tampere, cause I can't really afford to go, and I don't have a place to stay there either. Plus everyone else is going, so I'd have to get there ridiculously early, and I hate going to clubbing when I'm not drunk. Plus I'd kinda be alone, even though some friends of mine are going.

I've been watching a lot of TV and movies, and I absolutely have to recommend 'Nurse Jackie' to everyone. Dark humour, hospital stuff, and a really cool main character. Love! ^^

I took out my second lip ring, it wasn't healing properly. I knew from the first weeks that it wouldn't end up well, but I had to see how it would turn out. Well, it turned out bad, there's a bump on the inside. My navel piercing is also doing really bad, it has grown out a little bit, and it's aching and not healing. I really don't want to get rid of it, I like it. I'm just too fat to rock it. T__T My tongue has been hurting for at least a month now, and I'm not sure why. I really hope I don't have to take it out, I've gone through too much pain to fucking give it up.

January 15th...it's my sister's 23rd birthday. We're going somewhere to eat tomorrow. I really miss her... We're also going to talk about the possibility of going to Canada this summer, since my cousin is getting married. Two of my cousins are getting married this year, an acquaintance of mine already did, and two of my friends are marrying each other. I guess I'll have to quote a Facebook group here, "My friends are getting married, I'm just getting drunk".

Got a little bored last weekend.

One with misery

2010-01-09T00:56:00.003+02:00

All this time while I've been moping in bed feeling blue, Mr. Boogieman has been chatting up new girls. I feel like shit and I don't even have anyone to talk to, since Miss Bunnyhopp left to meet Mr. Insanely Tall again. I'm home alone, slightly drunk, but too puffy-eyed to go out and find a total stranger in the bar to come home with.

Guess what the stupid part of all this was? I was planning on attending Mr. Boogieman's birthday party all sexed up in the spirit of "this is what you're missing out on". Already decided on an outfit and hair and everything, but now that I noticed he's invited this new girl, I'm pretty sure I won't go there just to torture myself...

I miss Miki-chan, I miss my Siamese Twin, I miss having someone to hold me when my heart is breaking...I feel so lonely I could die... The fact that I've forgotten to take my antidepressants the past couple of days isn't making it any easier. I want to wander out into the cold, dark night and just lie down in eternal sleep in all that beautiful white snow...

Sleepwalker

2010-01-07T16:29:00.005+02:00

Wow that last post was really angsty...O_o Well, I've had my chocolates & chips -fix now, so it's all good. ^^

I didn't do pretty much anything yesterday, and I planned to continue on the same lines today. It's too damn cold to go outside. In fact, it's so cold our water pipes are frozen, and we don't get any water in the bathroom. I'm glad I managed to get my hair dyed yesterday, when there was still enough warm water for a shower!

My hair is all black now, and I look really odd, cause I've always had at least some part of it lighter. I got so tired of maintaining two colours in my hair that I decided to dye my bangs as well. Maybe this will also help me get rid of that 'emogurl17yrsold' -image people have of me...*sigh*

I'm thinking I'll try and grow my hair long again, I miss having it long. My hair is really thin though, especially now after the dreads, so it might look a bit sad. =( Oh well, I've still got two long-haired wigs if all else fails.. ;)

I've been sleeping a lot. I feel like a bear. *heart*

About me and Mr. Boogeyman...well, there is no nor will there be an 'us' there. I tried, but maybe I remained too detached...I don't know. The spark was missing, that much I know. My Dark Prince is still out there.

No One There

2010-01-05T21:11:00.007+02:00

Happy New Year, may your shitstorms recede ever so slightly in the following 12 months.

Warning, I'm having a Sentenced -day, the first sign that things aren't going so great.

Jyväskylä was fun this time too. I had a very pleasant New Year's Eve, and all-in-all a good time. I saw Avatar, which turned out to be an awesome movie. Quite predictable, but the whole movie just blew me away. I've been craving for those feline teeth ever since (and even more for someone with teeth like that to just sink them in the back my neck...purrr! *heart*).

I came back to Seinäjoki with Miss Bunnyhopp and her dude Mr. Insanely Tall, who was kind enough to drive us back. I've been a fat little shit since Xmas, and the 3 of us ended up going to Hesburger and for a drink before he headed back. Urgh.

On Monday it kept snowing the whole freaking day, and I wandered after Miss Bunnyhopp around the city going either "I'm dying" (my stomach hurt really bad for some reason) or "Fucking asshole!" (ya I don't care to elaborate...). The fact that it was really cold and snowy didn't help either. I did manage to buy some stuff that made me feel a little better, but all in all, I had a really shitty day.

Last night I was prepared to go to bed early, so I would wake up early in order to be ready for the gym with Miss Bunnyhopp. However, I ended up crying myself to sleep and didn't want to wake up at all. I even played with the idea of just popping a sleeping pill one after the other each time I'd wake up. No, I'm not saying I wanted to kill myself, I'm saying I wanted to sleep for the rest of the week. Miss Bunnyhopp woke me up twice though, at first she was trying to figure out what happened, and then the second time when she brought me my mail. I got the birthday gift I had purchased Sunday evening. What a laugh.

Today I've been moping in my bed, eating chips and chocolates, watching movies, swearing my ass off, screaming, and atm I'm crying at my desk. Fun. I thought I was done crying over men, but apparently I was wrong.

So to all you little stalkerbitches out there, who've got nothing better to do than writhe in other people's pain: I'm still alone, and still unhappy, and my life's still shit. Enjoy.

P.S. I took the dreads out yesterday. Feels weird, and it was even more weird taking them out, half of the shit that came out of my head was dust. Yuck.

And all that jazz

2009-12-30T01:08:00.007+02:00

So Christmas came and went. Miss Bunnyhopp and I had a Moustache Xmas Party on the 19th, and everyone was required to have a moustache of some sort. It was loads of fun, and we ended the evening by going to Bar15, naturally sporting our amazing facial hair. We ended up taking a lot of pictures, but since I don't think people appreciate looking foolish in public too much, I'll just show you a picture of myself and Miss Bunnyhopp. ;P My friends are entitled to see the other pics on Facebook, so if you think you're one and can't see them, leave me a note.

I spent Christmas Eve with my family, having dinner, watching movies and relaxing. I had fun with my cats, and it was nice to just chill out with them. There was a slightly sad undertone, since this is the second Christmas we've had to spend without Sini...

I didn't do anything on Christmas Day, both Miss Bunnyhopp and I were just being lazy and bumming around the house. Miss Bunnyhopp spent Boxing Day with her family, and I spent it watching movies and TV. We did go to a birthday party that evening, and had loads of fun. I'm hoping to get pictures from that evening at some point. They had a purple-gray-turquoise cake! O_O

Prezzies! I got Sweeney Todd, Chicago, and Burn Notice Season 1. Ankle weights too! xP

My mom made me these lovely socks, and they're just perfect! ^^

I also got a bunch of sweets, and have eaten all of them by now. T_T No wonder I've gained like 4kg...T__T

I also got the cutest mirror ever! <3 style="font-weight: bold;">

Bought some movies on my own as well, 3 for 10€.

After Christmas I haven't really been doing anything, just being lazy and eating. T_T I did finally get that donut date with my ex, after he blew me off twice. *grr* It was ok, we talked for a bit, and I ate a tasty double-chocolate muffin. I love muffins. Part of the reason why I might start calling myself Lady Cupcake. *heart* After that I shopped for a bit, results of which can be found in my ealier postings.

Here's some of my recent makeups.

And here's evidence of snow. This is the house we live in, it's really old.

Yeah. Nothing much to report here. I just feel really stupid for wasting my time doing nothing. The problem is I don't really know what I want to do with my life... I want to travel, but I don't have the money, and I can't get the money if I don't work. I can't find a job, so I've got nothing to do...=( It sucks ass. I get bored and I start to overthink things. Yesterday was particularly horrible, since Miss Bunnyhopp left to meet her potential new boyfriend for the second time, and I kept feeling lonely the whole day. To make matters worse, I kept missing my sister...those days are always tough, and I didn't even have anyone to talk to.

What do I really want out of my life? I want to experience new things, see the world, go on adventures, have a good time with friends, love and be loved, leave something of me behind when my time is over...

But I've become so cynical lately that I'm not sure I even believe in love anymore...at least not for me. It would be great if there really was someone I could spend the rest of my life with, but how could that ever happen? I get tired of everything! I can't even settle for a haircut for very long, how the hell am I supposed to settle down with some guy? I wish I could have that 'falling in love' -feeling forever....I'd just need to get there first.

I'm lonely.

P.S. At least my financial situation eased up a bit, I'm not getting 200€ more per month to help me pay the rent. Yay! o/

In my room

2009-12-29T22:28:00.008+02:00

I thought I'd make an entry about my recent purchases as well. I went shopping today, and bought some new winter lights to brighten up the atmosphere in my room. I now have white LED-lights hanging around the pink feather wings I have up on my wall, and blue LED-lights with some old blue star-shaped winter lights. They're in a glass bowl next to my TV, they make a pretty decorative item, since I can't really burn candles in my room.

I need to adjust them a bit more, at the moment they look like I just threw them on. Which is exactly what I did. :P

Last week I bought several basic shirts from H&M.

Plus this really sexy nightgown with see-through lace right below the boobs. ;P

I also found this really nice black velvet skirt from a used-clothes store, practically new, and only cost me 3,80euros. I think I'm going to do something about the buttons though, they're plastic and a really odd colour.

I bought some new underwear today, I used up half of my gift certificate at H&M. I wondered around a couple clothes stores, but didn't really find anything nice.

Naughty or nice? ;)

My order from Crazy Factory arrived as well, here's what I got: 4mm fish hook, 3mm tunnel, black and cobalt tongue studs, cobalt and regular barbell pins for my tongue, and a 3mm marble expander. I've got a 3mm one in my right ear atm, and once that's all done, I'll switch it to my left ear. I'm thinking about going up to 6mm, cause all the cool jewelry starts from that size up.

Mile in these shoes

2009-12-29T19:59:00.007+02:00

I thought I'd start updating with something fun, and what's more fun for a girl than shoes and shopping? ^^ So here you go, a list of my favourite shoes.

Demonia Dank-122 (3 1/4"/8,5cm heel, switched dark purple satin laces) and Emily-222 (2"/5cm heel)

The Danks are really cute, despite the fact that I've dubbed them clown shoes because of how they look when I'm looking down at my feet. Lacing them up is quite annoying though, and you easily lace them up too tight. To make things harder, I've got satin laces mixed with round laces, and they're not exactly the same length either....The Emilys are cute, but I've had to have them fixed, because one of the straps came loose. The straps also have a bit of elastic in them, and it had aged, so I had those changed as well. I think fixing them cost me like 15euros, so I'm glad both these shoes came with a discount.

Demonia Swing-815 (5"/12,5cm heel) and Neptune-100 (3"/7,5cm heel, unisex)

I love the platform boots, the Neptunes are really nice to walk in nbut they're quite heavy because of the platform. I've loved Swings for AGES and finally bought the silver ones I've been dying to get for over two years. I'm glad I did, cause apparently they don't make them anymore. They were expensive, but worth every penny! I had to put in some soft insoles to ease wearing them, since my feet HATE high heels. =( They're kinda large around the ankle, but the insoles fixed that as well. My calves are apparently thicker than the average Swing -wearers, cause I had to open the two highest buckles quite a bit in order to wear them. =(

Mudd brown boots and black Mudd shoes with silver studs

I bought both of the Mudd shoes from the States in December 2006, at the time I was completely in love with the collection of Mudds. They were all so big and bulky, and for some reason that made them really appeal to me. ^^ I had to get the black ones cause they're cute and were on sale, and I couldn't leave the store without those brown boots. Yes, they're brown, and don't really go with anything I have in my wardrobe, but I love them none the less. I don't wear them too often though. =(

Black wedge heeled strappy shoes from Halonen clothes store, fabulous black shoes with zipper details and lacing from Ellos internet shop

I got the wedge heeled shoes the past summer, I had a discount coupon, and I was running out of time to use it. I kept looking and looking for something to spend money on, and ended up getting these. They felt quite nice in the store, but I've actually worn them once or twice, because they make my feet hurt. =( The ankle shoes are gorgeous, and I would wear them a lot more, if they weren't so slippery in the winter time and wouldn't make my feet hurt. Like I said, my feet really hate high heels, and I've always got blisters on the balls of my feet after and outing with any type of high heels. =( *sigh* Miss Bunnyhopp got so jealous of this pair she got herself the same shoes. O_o

The not-so-fancy shoes I have: pink winter tennis shoes from Ellos online store, my favourite black button-eyed shoes with a little platform from Nahkapaikka in Tuuri, and cheap (but surprisingly comfortable) flip flops from Prisma.

The pink winter shoes are nice, but don't really go with anything, plus the laces are really short, so I keep having to relace them every time I use them. It's a pain in the ass, so I only wear them a couple times per year. I've been wearing the black shoes ever since I got them, they're fantastic. My feet love them, and they're cute. The little silver details in the front look like eyes, so in my head the shoes are something like puppies. O_o I wear the flip flops a lot during summer time, I would love to run around without any shoes, but there's too much broken glass everywhere for it to be safe. =(

I have other shoes as well, but they're all stashed away in my closet somewhere. Shoes.^^ *heart*

10th Man Down

2009-12-18T01:46:00.005+02:00

I'm sick. =( My throat really hurts. *sniff* I think I might have to go see a doctor tomorrow, or Monday by least.

I fucked up my school project. I had everything else done but the final project. I started it late, cause I've been sick and away, and I wasn't able to finish it in time. So I went to school on Wednesday just to eat cake. And the cake was good. And now school's off for Christmas, yay.

*sigh* Yeah I'm not proud of myself. I am handing in the assignment in January though, with the next project. Miss Bunnyhopp and I decided to have an ex tempore Xmas party on this coming Saturday. I can finally have my moustache party, yay! Everyone's required to wear a moustache of some sort. I can't remember where the idea originally came from, but a while ago we drew moustaches on each other's faces, and took a couple of pictures. I then wanted to arrange a party based on this, but Miss Bunnyhopp has been against the idea. So yay!

I'm going to see Tarja Turunen (ex-Nightwish) perform tomorrow. My mom really wanted to go, so I promised to go with her. The only thing that really annoyes me about it is that it's arranged at the church...but what can you do. I like my mom, and I've finally told her about my depression and medication. She's concerned about me, and I don't want her to worry. I really am doing quite good right now. ^^

Okay. I'm going to try and get some sleep, we still need to clean up the house tomorrow. It'll take forever! xP

Bonafide Lovin'

2009-12-14T20:52:00.007+02:00

I hate midnight angsty posts, and I hate writing them. I can't, however, fall asleep for the life of me, and I've been through all my favourite sites. I'm out of sleeping pills too, so no help there. =( I don't have milk, and I don't want to get out of bed to make tea in the first place. My throat is sore, and I keep coughing. I caught a cold while visiting Boogieman, and it doesn't help that it's -17C outside.

My trip to Jyväskylä was both good and bad. I ended up running to the station again, and had 2 minutes to buy a ticket and get on the train. I made it though, but noticed I forgot my DS at home. =( Luckily I discovered my iPood in my bag, and listened to mind.in.a.box all the way there, dozing in and out.

I was very happy to see Boogieman, he looked even better in person. ^^ We went to get something to eat, and walked at the town a bit. Then we headed for drinks and played 'Huojuva Torni'. I lost, cause I was determined to grab a block right at the bottom. xP

I'm glad to say his two pet rats did not bite me, like I had feared. I was also pleasantly surprised by how cute they were, since I don't really like things that haven't got a furry tail. But those two were adorable! *heart* We watched Zombieland, and it was just as awesome as would be expected. \,,,/

Boogieman has this massive car, and since the weather actually took a wintery turn (Seinäjoki looked like September-October when I left. -_-), the car kept sliding all over the place. It was quite...interesting. Luckily it wasn't too cold until Sunday.

We went out partying with some of Boogieman's friends on Friday night, and I had quite a nice time all the way to the point we decided to head back to his place. We kinda got separated, and I was too drunk to remember he had the cloak room ticket for both our coats, and since I couldn't get my coat, I was scared to go outside thinking they wouldn't let me back in. So I sat by the door hoping I would be found, and started to panic, since I don't know the freaking city one bit, so I couldn't find my way back on my own. I cried, I was feeling horrible, and then Boogieman came to my rescue. I felt really stupid for not remembering what the deal was with the coats. =( We had quite an interesting walk back though, we crossed a graveyard. :P

Saturday night was time for the "Worst Xmas Party This Year", so we headed to his friend's again. Our hosts had decorated the place with tin foil, and there was punch and booze galore. I had bought more stuff to drink, and helped myself to my own booze as well as the punch. Now, you gotta realize that I no longer drink cider, and I've never been able to drink beer for more than one bottle (in two hours, might I add...). So I'm a "my own special drink mixes" -kinda gal. And I kept chucking one after another, until I was drunk enough to demand tin foil to make alien antennaes on my head. xP I also had my trusty camera with me (I always do *heart*), and we ended up taking random drunken pictures. Pentachan got quite some admiration from people. ^^ (my cam is ...what, 5 years old now?, a cute little Pentax box model)

By the time people decided to head to a bar, I blanked out. Too much booze. I have no recollection whatsoever what has happened after then, but I was told I was feeling really crappy, I didn't want to go to a bar, but I didn't want to ruin people's evening either. Nor did I want to go sleep on my own (apparently I got quite demanding. *sigh*), so Boogieman ended up going back with me. I pissed him off too, cause I kept bawling all the way back, got left behind, and couldn't see things right in front of me.

Apparently at some point I had also called my ex, saying I feel miserable and I really hate ruining Boogieman's evening, but I felt too sick. I think I would've called Miss Bunnyhopp at this point, since she's my best friend, but since I pissed her off just by taking off without telling her, she ignored me the whole weekend. I tried to contact her more than once. Why did I call my ex? Cause he used to be a friend of mine, though now I'm starting to see how it might not work out in the end. I did end up having a minor nervous breakdown because of him a little while back, so I felt sadistic satisfaction when I cancelled a coffee meeting we had planned just a little earlier, and told him what I was doing instead. I honestly don't care, he's got his own life, and I've got mine, and as long as neither of us is rubbing it in each other's face, things are good.

So yeah, for Saturday I'm definitely not proud of. =( From what I gathered, I made a total ass of myself in front of Boogieman and his friends. Way to leave a first impression or what...*sigh*

Sunday was spent trying out games on PSP, and I fell for LittleBigPlanet again. I also got to play a couple of levels of Patapon 2, and I'm surprised I don't have the "Pata-pata-pata-pon" mantra stuck in my head. What I do have stuck in my head is Chromeo's Bonafide Lovin' though...:P

I was originally planning to head back on Sunday the very least, but since we slept in, all the good trains had already left. I decided to catch a straight connection back Monday morning, cause the alternative was to spend over an hour in Tampere all alone, in the middle of the night. =(

Now I'm back at home, and I feel confused. I can't really read Boogieman yet, so I don't know how he felt about the weekend, and I'm kinda nervous to ask, for some reason. I did like him, and I'd like to see him and the rats again, hopefully sooner rather than later. ^^ I just really hate feeling confused.

Oh man, I really need to get some sleep...It's already 5.30am, and I need to be at the unemployment center by 10am.... Last week I promised the guy there that I'd go to this info thing, so I don't have any options. Fortunately it's just for an hour, but I don't think I'll get any sleep after that either, since I still have a pair of pants to make. Yup, I should've finished my school project before leaving, but I didn't. Plus mom is coming in for a fitting tomorrow evening, not to mention the finished project needs to be handed in on Wednesday. *sigh* Hello stress, I didn't miss you, so could you stay the fuck off?!

Speaking of, I nearly froze my fingers off on the way to school, so I stopped halfway to buy a pair of really warm mittens. I managed to lose one of my beloved mittens while I was drunk, and I'm truly mourning it. It was made by my aunt (mom's sister) some 20+ years ago. She also died 20+ years ago, so it can never be replaced...T__T My mom gave them for me to wear a few years back out of the goodness of her heart, so now I'm thinking I'll make a pair just like that to try and make it up to her. =/

School sucked ass, since Miss Bunnyhopp still wasn't talking to me, and I was pissed off, since apparently my cell phone hates winter, and almost broke. I was prepared to start working on the pants, but ended up finishing the bolero I started on Wednesday. I still need to make button holes, and see if I think it needs to be jazzed up a bit. After that I just came back home.

I forgot, I had to be back here this morning because I promised my mom to go shopping with her (it was her day off). We ended up checking out a few stores, and I picked out a Hello Kitty t-shirt pajama and a really cool black makeup mirror for Xmas presents. I guess I've been a good little girl (thank goth there are things parent's don't need to know, eh!? lol) and will be getting several tiny presents this year. I bought some more stuff for Miss Bunnyhopp's present too, and noticed I got some of the things I ordered in the mail. I'm not too happy with them though, I should've checked the description better. The things are WAY bigger that what I wanted to get. (Presents, may be revealed after people receive them). T_T

I blocked Miss Bitchy on Facebook. *heart* I've got no idea whether she occasionally tries to check out my profile, but I fixed all my restrictions too, and randomly tried to block someone. Who better to try it out on than her? ^^ She's never been my friend in there, and never will, just like the situation is in real life.

I'd like to add some pictures later on, but I think I'll need to check with people first. Check back for updates on that. Peace!

It's the Oogie Boogie Man!

2009-12-09T14:12:00.005+02:00

Note: Mr. Fascinating shall from hereon be referred to as the Boogieman.

I blew off school on Monday, I was feeling a bit ill and stuff. I ended up running to the train station at 7.30pm only to see my train had left a minute earlier. O_o Not cool. So I headed back home, and some guy tried to sell me drugs on the way. O__O The first time ever that's happened to me, I'm starting to feel really uneasy here...

I had a gym appointment on Tuesday morning to check out this new ladies gym here. I was really tired in the morning, and couldn't find my sweat pants, so I ended up heading back to bed. I woke up again when my phone rang, some guy was trying to get me to change my cell phone provider again. -_-# I ended up running on errands, and attempting to knit my first woollen socks in years. Too early to say how it's going so far.

I tried to reschedule my appointment with the mental health nurse this morning, but she wouldn't answer the phone. So I blew her off too. O_o; Hey, at least I tried...T_T I bleached my bangs again today. It'll be lavender again, but I decided to leave that to another day. So for now I'm partially blonde.

I was pissed off today, I had sold a skirt, and ended up spending all the money I got for shipping the damn thing. The prices are ridiculous! >=(

School was okay, I ended up making a violet bolero, but I didn't quite finish it yet, cause Miss Bunnyhopp and I left early to pick up some Chinese meatballs on the way home. They are so~ good...*drool*

So yeah. Boring post, I know.

I have to say I'm really curious about this Mr. Boogieman. He's fun to talk to, and seems like a really cool guy. Not to mention he's incredibly hot. ;) In fact, I'm so curious I agreed to go meet him tomorrow. Hopefully this time I'll catch my train. xP

Kryptonite

2009-12-06T20:41:00.004+02:00

Meh. I can't remember doing much on Friday. I went out and bought chocolates and alchohol, cause I got some tax returns. I also got earmuffs, but didn't notice until today that they left the security alarm on them. -_- Need to go back tomorrow to have them take it out.

The local anime club had arranged an allnighter, so Miss Bunnyhopp went there and hang out for a couple of hours. It was fun seeing people. We had sorta planned we'd go out and go to a bar, but ended up getting pizzas and going back home watching TV. I got really tired.

On Saturday I spent the day on my computer again. ;) Then at 8pm I was told that Tony Kakko would be at Rytmikorjaamo that evening, so I got Miss Bunnyhopp interested and we started to put on some makeup and made a couple of drinks, getting ready to head out. About 45 mins later I was told that Tony wouldn't be there, but Ari Koivunen would. A few &%¤#s later we changed our plans to a girls night out, I'm not interested in nonmetal. xP

I got really wasted by the time we headed out, and we didn't go to our favourite bar Bar15 either, since Miss Bunnyhopp didn't want to see the random band there. We headed out to Karma instead. And as soon as we got in and got our coats off, I saw her, Miss Bitchy. I ignored her, and we got drinks and headed to a table. The both of us were kinda glued to our cell phones that night. ;)

Later on in the washroom Miss Bitchy confronted me and told me not to trust my ex. She also wanted a bury-the-hatchet -hug, which she got. I was way too baffled by all of this. I was hurt though, cause she seems to know a lot of things she's not supposed to know. Miss Bunnyhopp and I got some fries on the way home, and I kept laughing my ass off cause I wanted 'kurkkusipuli' in them. Can't be bothered to try and translate that.

I woke up not hung over today, yay for me. I also re-read some of the messages from last night, including the one from my ex. Then I started this big messenger war with him blaming him of revealing my secrets to Miss Bitchy and Mr. Fatso and how stupid does he have to be to keep trusting them when time after time they prove how they are not worthy of that trust. Then a couple hours later he calls me and basically begs for forgiveness. I feel really stupid, cause in a way I'm the same with him. I keep trusting him and he keeps letting me down. And it sucks, cause I really wanted us to be friends.

Another day spent at the computer. ^^ I'm having loads of fun, thanks to Mr. Fascinating. ;)

Something to do

2009-12-03T14:55:00.007+02:00

Somehow I've managed to spend the whole day at my computer. O_o I woke up early to go to a blood test issued by the doctor a week ago, and have been "moping" in my room ever since I got back. There was this young dude with long hair taking my blood this time, so it wasn't that bad (even though I now have bandaids in both arms..). ;)

I spent all of Tuesday at my parents', reading Don Rosa's finest, and petting my cats while dad installed Win 7 on my laptop. It was installed over Vista, cause I didn't have enough space to empty my computer to an external harddrive, so it took forever. And it's still in Finnish. *sigh*

I haven't gone to the gym, and I didn't go to school yesterday. I've had a headache for a couple of days now, and it's really nasty. I guess it's due to the stress I'm under. =(

I bought a piece of really lovely faux leather yesterday. It's black, and the other side is leather-like, and the other one is really smooth and it looks like suede. It only cost 15e/kg! I also got a piece of pink sports fabric, that I already have a piece, but since I had planned to make a top and some sort of bottom from it, I bought more. Plus I think it was the last of that fabric, and cost me 7e.

I finally washed my hair yesterday (eww I know, gross!), and it feels much nicer. Naturally I've washed my bangs, but not the whole hair. It took hours for it to dry again, but that was to be expected. The weight wasn't too bad this time, I'm getting to like these short dreads more and more. The back of my neck has started to hurt a little, but nothing compared to what it normally is. These haven't really scratched my scalp either, so it's all good. I'm aiming for a 3-week minimun this time, and I guess 5 weeks will be max. After that I'll take them out, dye my hair and perhaps put them back in. Time will tell.

I got some new jewelry from Crazy Factory. Two surgical steel crescents for my left ear, one is 1.6mm and the other one 2mm. I started from a normal thin earring, had a 1mm safety pin (surgical steel, from CF) in it for a week or so, and then yesterday I tried putting the 1.6 in. It went about halfway, then got stuck in a dread, and got tucked in all the way. So I think I've teared my ear too much, cause it hurts now. T_T Plus I lost the little rubber thingies during the night. *sigh* I also got a 3mm plastic plug (the smallest I could find) and a black navel banana with a blue/green "diamond". It's really pretty, and makes a nice change to the one I have. I would've changed the barbell in my tongue to a 14mm one, but it seems I've misplaced those, along with my pretty black moon/star navel ring. I hope they didn't accidentally end up in the trash, cause I can't seem to find them...T__T

Lazy day, I'm tired, since I didn't sleep very well last night, and have been going to bed around 2am. Well, except for last night, I was in bed before 11pm. I know, I surprised myself too. O_o

Sweet Transvestite

2009-12-01T00:42:00.006+02:00

So in the end the dreaded fitting came and went, and it went well enough. I knew I had to adjust the pattern, and I got help with that. (These are still the first pair of pants I'm making...xP) I ended up spending much more time at school than I had originally planned, but at least I didn't have to get there by bike, and mom had her knitting (socks) with her, so she wasn't too bored or annoyed.

We had to go to school via the fabric store, since the piece of fabric we had hoped would be enough turned out to be too small. As usual, the store was out of all good black fabrics, but I did manage to get the end of a roll of this black strech cotton. It's the same fabric I'm making the cat backpack from. Poor kitty bag, I haven't had time to focus on it...=(

All my paper work was in order, but since the pants looked ridiculous, I had to adjust the pattern. Other than that I'm good to continue with the actual pants. The deadline for these is December 16th, so I'll have plenty of time. I'm going to try and figure out something fun to do on Wednesday, so I can get my mind of this project and the stress it's causing me. I have a new big roll of pattern paper now, so no more cheap oven paper (voipaperi) patterns for me! xP

I did a very poor blue&purple look today. I ended up going to bed at 4am and slept until noon, and by the time I had bummed at my computer for two hours, showered and had breakfast, I realized I was in a hurry and had to storm out to hand in the paperwork for what I'm hoping will relieve my financial situation. I'll need to add a paper from my landlord to the mix, but at least I got it handed in before December. Phew. So my make up was done in haste and it sucked ass. I also didn't take pictures of it until I got back home, and by that time my face had gotten all shiny and disgusting. -__-#

I had a really nice dream too, so it sucked to wake up at all. I had a dream about the bass player of my favourite band, which is weird, cause I'm all about their drummer. How fangirly of me, I know, but this band has been with my for nearly ten years, I can't help it...xP Anywho, apparently I had met this guy after a gig once, and he'd fallen for me. Then randomly we met again some time later, he told me he'd been waiting for me ever since and that he was madly in love with me. I fell head over heels for him too, truly madly in love. And I mean that in the most passionate way you can think of to ever feel about someone, I have never experienced love like that in real life. I was ready to have his child for frick's sake! O_o (Newsflash: I hate children. I never want to have one of my own. If I would, I'd most likely adopt one. Saves the world the trouble of having mini-me's running around..) Needless to say, I was bummed to wake up.

Tomorrow will be spent at my parents', where dad will install Win 7 on my laptop. Yes, I'm useless when it comes to computers. xP I'll be bugging my little brother with Xmas present wishes too, so hopefully he'll just point things out and say "I want this" so I can do the same. ^^ I just wish I knew what to get my dad...

I've found new blogs to follow. One of them is Pelottaako?, a blog in Finnish gathering scary stories and spooky stuff. It gives me the creeps, so I wouldn't go there at this time, in the middle of the night...*shivers. Another one that I've failed to mention is this fantastic makeup blog, that I've been following for I think over a month now? The write is a Finnish girl but she writes in English, and man, she is truly an artist! There's also of course Miss Bunnyhopp's blog, but other than that I mostly just follow my friends' blogs. I did stumble upon this one today, and I really admire the talent of the autor. It's a sowing blog in Finnish, and the author is this really cool goth girl posting pictures of her latest fabulous creations.

And no, I don't know any transvestites (not that I have anything against it), nor am I one, I've just been thinking about getting myself a Rocky Horror Picture Show t-shirt.

Still Unknown

2009-11-30T00:47:00.003+02:00

I got the fitting pants done! Took ages, but they're done. My mom also dropped by to try them on, so I'll have a general idea of what to fix about them tomorrow. And they do need fixing. =( But at least they're done! I still need to do the law assignment, and gather all the stuff in my folder. I'm really nervous about tomorrow, but I hope it'll be okay.

I've got a bunch of stuff I need to take care of next week. I'm applying for some social welfare, and I need to hand in the paperwork tomorrow so I'll get the money from last month as well. I'm living off the unemployment money, which isn't enough, so I need something to help me pay the rent. I'm also getting some tax refunds in a few days, which enables me to get Xmas presents this year. Not too many though. =(

Speaking of, I found gifts for Miss Bunnyhopp, Mr. Pirate, and one unexpected tiny gift for Miss 80s. ^^ Nothing too fancy, though I will be looking for something to add to Miss Bunnyhopp's present. But I still have four to go. =(

I'll need to make sure I get to the health care center before ten some morning next week too, since I'm scheduled for blood tests. I visited the doctor again last week, and found out that my general dizzyness is caused by my medication. She suggested that since I've been sleeping better, I cut my evening dosage in half, and then leave it out entirely. And it's interesting, after just a few days the dizzyness has become more infrequent.

Almost exactly a year ago I had a deep vein thrombosis in my left leg. The doctors said it was most likely cause by the birth control pills I was taking, since there isn't anything like this in my family medical history. They discovered no issues with my blood clotting, so it was most likely reason for such a thing to happen to me. I took blood-thinning medication for three months, and the first week I had to inject myself in the stomach around my belly button. That was painful, and I don't like to think about it. Anywho, I was told I cannot continue with the birth control pill anymore, and that my only options were condoms and copper intrauterine contraceptive devices (IUCDs). The IUCD feels really uncomfortable to even think about, so pretty much I had no options. But this week my doctor told me I can still use the minipill, so I'm thinking about getting a prescription for those. Not that I have a boyfriend right now tho...xP

I'm really tired...still working on the law assignment though. No rest for the wicked.

Blah blah blah

2009-11-28T21:18:00.001+02:00

Argh! I'm really stressed about my school project. I finally got my patterns done today, after a really long time of thinking and calculating and correcting my lines. I also cut the fabric for the fitting pants, but didn't get around sowing it yet. I'll need an early start tomorrow morning to be able to finish them in time. Monday's the second evaluation for this project, so wish me luck.

I really hate being stressed, I start to binge eat without even realizing it. I got a bag of chips, a box of chocolates, and a box of liquorice from the store yesterday, and now... There's a nothing left, I finished the last chocolates a couple minutes ago. I'm gonna be such a fatty...T_T

Miss Bunnyhopp is starting to get excited about Christmas, but my anxiety about the whole holiday is piling up. I like giving presents in general, but Christmas is such a stressful time. I promised to send my Japanese friend an Xmas card, and I'm going to be sending one to Australia too. I love receiving mail, and am glad I've found at least one new friend from this site called Interpals. ^^ I also know what I'm getting Miss Bunnyhopp, and found something tiny for Mr. Pirate, but other than that I have no idea.

Maybe I'll make cookies! Like the ones I made two years ago. They were fun, see for yourselves. xP

Go away Xmas, we don't want you here!

2009-11-28T00:25:00.002+02:00

I went shopping yesterday, and got these from H&M. Really cute black velvet shorts, interesting detail in these is that the zipper is on the side and not the front. Picture taken from the back, nice little pocket details (they are actual pockets too, and not just for show). I love them!
Angel Kitty top&panties pyjama, I wanted the black Devil Kitty version too, but couldn't afford both. Gasp, a picture of my unmentionables in the internet, what a scandal!
I wear a lot of skirts and dresses, so I need warm tights or leggins to be able to wear everything I want and still stay somewhat warm in the winter time. I found this set of gray and lavender tights thinking they'd be nice and warm, but it turns out that they're a lot thinner than they look. They are still pretty good, but not as good as I had hoped. =(
Today I bought another two pairs of tights, still not warm enough, but at least I'll have a change while last winter's warm ones are in the wash.

And here you have a picture of me with my new hair. Notice the gigantic bags under my eyes. T__T

I started drawing a pattern for basic pants yesterday, but that plan came crashing down when I realized I don't know where some of the numbers come from. I can't finish the pattern when I don't know the numbers I need or how to calculate them. =( So I haven't been able to make the fitting pants, or adjust the pattern. In other words - I'm screwed. Miss Bunnyhopp's mom is coming by tomorrow, and since she's a teacher of this stuff, she'll hopefully be able to help me figure it all out. Then I'll get the pants done by Sunday, and spend Sunday evening and Monday morning writing out answers for the questions we got on Monday regarding the law stuff. *sigh* I'm stressed out.

I'm also stressed about Xmas presents. Let it be known that I hate Christmas, have hated it for several years now. For various reasons, one of them being the commercialisation of the whole thing. I'm not into the religious bit either, I consider myself agnostic/atheist, and don't belong to church anymore. I was baptised as a baby, and I've gone through confirmation camp, but I didn't find God as a kid going to Sunday school, and I sure as hell (pun intended) didn't during confirmation. I went thorught it because I didn't realize I had a choice. There are lots of things in life I didn't and still don't understand, I'm naive and quite dumb, and religion was one of these things. Now I've made my choice and I'm very happy with it.

Christmas is too commercial. There's Xmas shit everywhere you look, and it creeps into stores already in October. I don't like Christmas decorations, all the tacky santa & elves shit give me the creeps. Bright red and gold have never been my favourite colours, and during Christmastime they make my eyes hurt. I'm more of a blue-silver kinda girl. I think white trees, dark green, blue, violet and silver decorations are okay, as long as they're used in moderation. I hate how people stick Christmas lights everywhere, it's ridiculous and looks horrible. I myself own two pairs of Xmas lights though, one set of blue stars, and a set of pink lights. The pink ones were supposed to be purple, are a year old, and have half faded into yellow. I use them in the wintertime when it gets dark, they make my room so much nicer to be in. Plus they match all the pink shit I have. I'm thinking about using the blue ones this winter though, since the pink ones are turning yellow more and more, and I hate yellow lights. I might get a new LED light set some day.

I hate Christmas carols too, they are tacky and make me feel like my brains are melting. I hate how they are played in every single fucking store you enter in December. I can however think of couple that I actually like, mostly cause they sound so sad to me. Here's one, called "Näin sydämeeni joulun teen". Here's another one "Varpunen jouluaamuna", the lyrics are really melancholic and sad. Sung by Tarja Turunen of Nightwish. And my absolute favourite, "Tulkoon Joulu".

I hate Christmas foods too. I don't like ham, I don't like liver casserole, carrot casserole, rutabaga/swede casserole, rosolli (it's made with red beets, carrots, potatoes and onion) and most of all, rice porridge. Yuck. I also hate most of the Xmas chocolates, cause they are boring and filled with crap. The ones I like include Daim, Brunberg (truffel chocolates), and Budapest (nougat? chocolates). Speaking of chocolates and Christmas, I got a Winnie the Pooh Xmas calender with chocolates in it. I don't like Winnie the Pooh (Nalle Puh) or Piglet (Nasu), nor that rabbit person (Kani), but I do love Eeyore (Ihaa) and Tiger (Tiikeri) is nice too. And Heffalump (Möhköfantti)! I haven't seen Heffalump movie yet though. =( I'll post a picture of the calendar later, I don't have one yet.

I hate not being able to get presents for everyone I want. It's also really hard to find presents for my dad and my brother. I think my list of people who to get presents this year include my family members, Miss Bunnyhopp, my ex, Mr. Pirate, Mikichan, and My Siamese Twin. So not too many presents to get. I'll make cards for others, and I have an idea for a tiny gift I can make if I have time. Boys are really hard to shop for. =( I found what I'm getting for my mom though, so that's one down, seven to go. ^^

Okay, I think I've bored everyone to tears right about now, so I guess I'll end this here.

Pinkamania

2009-11-26T00:01:00.004+02:00

Just wanted to share what I made at school today, since I actually finished something. Half-finished projects ftw! \(^_^)/

A fleece shirt I started aeons ago, but finally finished (I made it way too big originally). It was supposed to have D-rings in both sleeves, but the trim I used with the D-rings was too rigid, and I ended up taking the whole thing away. The paw trim is really cute, don't you think? ^^

The pink skirt I've been talking about. It's more of a lavender pink, or as one of my ex-boyfriends would call it, pinkle. A purplish pink. The roses are brown, so I used a brown zipper. It's quite oo-la-la, and makes my butt look good. ^^

Yes, I had a pink day, I confess, I'm a pinkaholic! So sue me! T__T ...I've done so much black stuff until now, I think I'm entitled to some pink stuff for a change...

I'll post pictures of my sowing projects again once I have something concrete to show.

So Much Is Lost

2009-11-25T14:52:00.007+02:00

I've been missing Pepper Lunch, so today I thought I'd make a me-version of my favourite dish there. Mostly just because I had some pork in the freezer, and it came with a pepper butter thingy that I really want to use with rice. The pork chunks are massive though, so it'll be very different from the original, but at least I'll feel nostalgic. ^^

I've meant to write a post earlier, but I kept postponing it and now it's been two days since my last update. On Monday we spent all evening listening to law stuff, and didn't get any sowing done. Annoying. I kept undoing the seams of a shirt I've made earlier that turned out too big in the end. I managed to resow a couple of the seams on our break, but the shirt is still unfinished. I'll be finishing that one today, and making a hooded crop top.

Speaking of tops, my Lip Service clothes finally arrived. I got the Cybertronic Ragdoll Cap Sleeve Hoodie, Cybertronic Ragdoll Nano Factory Mini Dress (both brand spanking new) and the In Vain (? Couldn't find the specifics) Hoodie, which was used, but looks brand new. Love! The Cybertronic Hoodie cost me 41e+shipping, the dress 59e+shipping, and the Vain Hoodie 35e (huuto.net). Hoodies both fit perfectly, and are a size L, but the dress is giving me grief. It's an XL, and it fits nicely around my chest, but is way too lose from the waist, and the neckpiece is choking me. I may need to sell it, which I really don't want to do, or modify it to fit my needs, which I know will make people kill me for committing such blasphemous act! xP I'll see which option wins. For now, I'll lock it safely in my closet.

Miss Bunnyhopp received some mail as well, she got a whole bunch of double-ended dreads she had bought on ebay. So I spent Monday evening braiding them in her hair. We made a deal so I got to keep the dreads she didn't need herself, and I spent yesterday braiding them in my hair. I feel gorgeous again, I love having a full head of hair. I no longer need to be angsty about my own hair, which is nice for a change. It's gotten to the lenght where it keeps pissing me off, cause I need to start styling it in order to like how it looks. -__- Pain in the ass. The dreads are so much more simple, and always look nice. It'll just be a pain in the ass to dry them if we manage to squeeze in more time at the gym and the pools... It's interesting how well the dreads match my hair, since I had no idea Miss Bunnyhopp had bought them. They're mostly black/white ones with a few lilac ones mixed in. Funny how that goes. ^^

Oh and here's my makeup 3 days in a row. Monday was pink and white, Tuesday was gray, and today purple and silver. Same eyebrows in all, I just love that Wet'n'Wild lilac eyeliner pen...^^

Gah, I haven't gotten much done today. I did clean up my room and make dinner, so I guess that's okay. What I was supposed to do however was draw patterns for my big sowing project. I've got a fitting on the 30th and I haven't even drawn the patterns for the pants!

I found myself looking at me thinking 'Sini' today...not even looking in the mirror, I was making dinner and looking down at the frying pan, I saw my arms and the dreads hanging from my head and I just thought that's my sister... It's quite...confusing. I look at myself and I see her, but when I look in the mirror, she's gone. It's me again. I don't know what's happening...

"My identity is not real..."

A Day in the Life

2009-11-22T21:37:00.009+02:00

Gah, this day will never end! And I still need to be awake at 3am, when an item I've been watching ends on ebay. Grr!

I've been really bored and in my usual Sunday blues, especially since Mr. Fatso (again, if I don't know what you'd like to be referred to, I'll make something up. And I'm not necessarily nice. I changed what I originally called you here. Be happy!) invited his friends to a spa resort to celebrate his big three-oh. Nobody's been at their computers all day, so I've just been watching everything I could get my hands on. On season 3 of Dexter now.

To take advantage of my boredom I took under a hairdye project, and after bleaching and dyeing my hair is now lavender/black. The lavender is really nice, although quite pale, so I hope it stayes a little better than Stargazer or Phantasy. I cut my bangs a little shorter, and once again feel quite weirded out that it's so short. I haven't decided what to do with the sides yet. I'm thinking I'll shave some of it completely, maybe tomorrow brings upon another change.

I also tried out a two-tone pill stud in my tongue, I bought 3 of them ages ago but still haven't tried them out. The plastic pill reeks! Even after boiling it still smelled pretty bad, luckily I can't taste it thouhg. It's not very practical either, eating is quite hard, and it feels like I have a plastic spoon in my mouth all the time. I think the barbell is a bit too long. My left arm hurts from where I was injected. I can't sleep on my left side because of the pain, my arm is really sore. Hopefully it'll ease up in a couple of days. The right one is completely fine, only if I press the injection spot it hurts. Huh, I seem to have a little fever as well, I'm not feeling it though. I'm just a little sleepy, have been all day. I've got an upset stomach, but I don't know if that's because of the shots or something else. Annoying. I smell like death.

Tomorrow is law stuff at school, but we'll have time to do some sowing as well, so I should prepare something to take with me. I'll keep the backpack as my home project for this month, as well as finishing the pink skirt, so I'm not sure what I should do. I have several unfinished projects waiting, so maybe I should just pick one of those up, but I don't really feel like it. I feel like starting something new.

And yeah, I need to draw the patterns for the pants next week, and make the proto pants, since we scheduled a fitting for the 30th. I don't even know what I need to have prepared for the second evaluation, but I guess I'll just ask tomorrow. The finished pants need to be handed in December 16th, that much I do know, but for the second evaluation...no idea.

I really feel like sowing, but it's nearing midnight, so I really can't. Maybe tomorrow morning. Also need to clean up my room, my floor has gotten quite messy. I have this matress cube sitting around in the living room, and I think I might bring it in here to use as an extra chair to put my clothes in at the end of my bed. I'll see about it tomorrow.

Btw, I've fallen in love with my Elegant Minerals Vanilla & Oatmeal Facial Bar, it makes my face squeaky clean. *heart* >
And once again this post took me like 4 hours to write...

Monkeys and bunnies

2009-11-21T23:29:00.006+02:00

Sorry for the late update. It's not that I've been busy, quite the opposite. Miss Bunnyhopp and I didn't get invited to a birthday party and I'm kinda miffed about it. Mainly because of the missed opportunity to see more than one friend at a time. =/

Miss Bunnyhopp and I spent 70 minutes at the gym yesterday, but didn't really spend any time swimming. Too tired, my legs had turned into spaghetti by the time I got to the pool. After that we went and had chinese food, but since we didn't order from their lunch menu, we had to pay full price. I was really annoyed by that because it didn't use to matter before, but for some reason now they've changed their policies I guess. The meatballs were still good, so no complaints. Yes, I had meatballs at a chinese restaurant, and they were fantastic!

It was interesting, on that same trip we both bumped into our exes, and only one of those was awkward. MBH's ex is completely avoiding her these days (he owes her money and refuses to pay up, whiny bitch) and me as well. My ex was just heading for some lunch with a friend when we met him. It was interesting to see him again, I haven't seem him since the snow thing, and haven't really talked to him after that either. I have to say, I no longer imagine we could still fix things and be together. For now I'm just mourning what we had, but hopeful that our friendship can still be repaired. It is too soon for me to see him with this new girl though, but I'll get there. ^^; This time history will not repeat itself!

Yesterday evening Miss Bunnyhopp took over my bed, stared at my stuff and then said we could make monkey bags. For those of you who don't know me, I have this big black monkey skeleton bag that my sister bought while visiting me in Japan. It may not sound like it, but it's in fact really cute. Miss Bunnyhopp had some white PVC, and said she wanted to make one, so we started drawing out the skeleton pattern and cutting the PVC.

This morning I went to the health care center to get the swine flu vaccination, and I was preparing for another 1-2 hour queue. I was happily surprised when I got there, there weren't too many cars, and no queue outside. No visible queue inside either, and when I got to the waiting room, there were only 5 people before me. (^_^)/ I got the seasonal influenza shot as well, so I have tiny bandaids on both of my shoulders. xP The piggy one hurts a little, but nothing else to report about that. If I wake up tomorrow with a snout, then I suggest you not to get the shot...

I didn't even get around eating breakfast after coming home (I was in a hurry once again, so left home without eating), since we headed out to the fabric store to get black fabric for the bags. We didn't manage to find any adjustment buckles though, so I'm not sure what I should do about the shoulder straps. My bag is going to be a cat, well, more like a tiger, and I'll put two shoulder straps on it to make it a backpack. The original monkey one only has one.

I'm surprised my muscles aren't too sore yet. The only ones that hurt are the ones I'm sitting on. xP My arms are a little sore, but that's mainly because of the shots.

Nothing special for makeup today, the same old basic style. I don't know how I should adjust my pictures, cause the black looks gray and you can't really see the white in the inner corners either. =(

Oh and depression wise today wasn't so great: I was cutting the fabric in Miss Bunnyhopp's room, I had my contacts on, I realised I can't see close all too well. There was also a really strange smell coming from the neighbour's appartment, and I just started feeling anxious. I managed to pick up what was happening when my breathing got really uneven and fast. I tried to take deep breaths and I got up, went to get some apple juice and sat on the living room sofa for a while, just breathing. It helped, and the anxiety passed. I just haven't felt all that great the rest of the day. =/

Especially when I tried to play with MBH's bunny (She really does have one, a white fluffy lion bunny. It growls.) and she just kept hopping away from me. In the end she was poking my hand asking me to pet her some more, so all was forgiven. ^^

Evolved

2009-11-19T20:30:00.005+02:00

Gyah, I need my daily dosage of Supernatural, but I've already caught up to date...T_T Oh well, luckily there's a new episode on tomorrow. ^^ Oh no, I'm turning into a fangirl! T__T

I had my appointment with the mental health nurse today. I poured her the major facts of my life, she said I've been through a lot, and that she would like to see me a few times more. So I'm going back next month, and I have to take a few photographs with me so we can discuss them.

I also have a check-up with the doctor next week to see how the meds are working for me. So far I can say it's good. I sleep better, my appetite is back, and my suicidal thoughts are gone. I still feel somewhat anxious at times, and I'm defitinely not a 100%, but I'm getting there.

Miss Bunnyhopp has been sowing all day, and I feel kinda bad I haven't done advanced any of my sowing projects, but I'll catch up tomorrow. We're heading to the gym again, both really determined to lose weight and tone down. At least we have a mutual goal, even though she weighs about 12kg less than I do atm...T__T I just can't keep a diet...I wish my appetite was still gone. =( I also plan to go through my stuff and try to sell whatever I don't use, need or have an emotional attachment to. So far I've only listed a couple of plushies, a skirt, and some tiny junk. You can see what I have for sale here.

I had an energy drink today, for the first time in months, and I really felt the effects. It's weird, I take these pills to help me sleep, and now I take an energy drink to stay alert. xP I ran some errands today, so it was okay.

Oh, I'm really excited: I bought a Lip Service hoodie last night, a used one, I hope it's the right size. I also hope Miss Bunnyhopp doesn't kill me once she finds out I bought another Lip Service hoodie and a minidress too, from the same collection she has stuff from...it's not my fault she saw them first, and it's not my fault I happened to stumble across them for a bargain...they're new, so if they don't fit me, I can always sell them, Lip Service happens to have excellent resale value...^^

I should clean up my room again, I'm too messy even though I've tried to tidy up after myself. =(

Ooh, I managed to find a picture of my makeup the day my camera died, I got like one decent shot before the batteries ran out.

Anguish

2009-11-18T23:55:00.003+02:00

Today was really hectic! I woke up somewhat later than I had planned, I was really tired this morning, but I managed to get to work almost right away. I still had lots to do for my project due to slacking off the past week. I started with the drawings and worked my way through the detailed seam graphs. (Forgive me, I'm at a loss here, for I have no clue of where to find a Finnish-English sowing terminology dictionary, and my terminology in English is very limited =(...)

I also wrote the work order, well, a couple of drafts for it anyways, and managed to make lunch in between. Miss Bunnyhopp and I watched this movie 'Quarantine' before going to school, and ended up being late because of it. It was a creepy movie though, and I had time to take a breath and eat while watching it.

At school I ended up drawing the final sketches of the pants I'll be making, coloured the sketches, and glued them to a pink cardboard. I glued all the main info to a pink and a lilac cardboard, it was Miss Bunnyhopp's idea so all glory to her, I merely just copied her on this one. (She got black and red cardboards though). xP I added all the sketches and drafts of things to the folder, and handed it in. Then I started working on my pink rose skirt again.

A while later the teacher comes to me saying I need to colour the seam graphs using blue, green and red. I did that, and about 5 minutes later she comes to me again. "You weren't actually supposed to colour this bit, but to draw green lines here." I'm like what the frick, what freaking difference does it make whether I actually colour a bit or use lines to indicate that the certain area is supposed to be green. O_o Then she starts asking about my drafts and all the sketches, as if it's not clear that the ones on the cardboards are the final versions and all the other stuff was what I used to get there. Especially when I wrote 'draft' in all the older papers. -__-# So I had to write 'final' in them before I could finally hand them in. *sigh* The whole thing is so freaking anal it's ridiculous...

But by Monday I'll know whether I've passed stage I of this project thing. Now I'll need to make the actual patterns, cut the fabric, and make a pair of test pants. Then at the end of this month I'll have a fitting with my client aka Mom, make adjustments if needed, and then make the actual pants. They'll be handed in right before Christmas, and I guess in January I'll know whether I passed or not.

The whole day was so freaking stressing that both I and Miss Bunnyhopp kept swearing our cute little butts off when we got home. After a completely missed episode of C.S.I Las Vegas I've just slumped in my chair wandering around the wonderful world of teh Interwebs. As a result my laptop is all hot and bothered (no, I don't watch porn, I'm a good little girl...sometimes) and it's about time I went to bed. Appointment with the mental health nurse tomorrow before noon.

Body Company

2009-11-17T23:21:00.003+02:00

Gyah, as always, I was behind schedule this morning. We did end up going to the gym and swimming though, so yay. It took us freaking 3 hours in total, but at least we were active. \(^_^)/

My plans to work on my school project failed on having to run errands, and being glued to the computer reading horror stories (thanks a lot PalloMasi, I blame you! xP) for the entire evening. Happy dreams ahead...T__T

I did have a really cute makeup look today, but my camera batteries died, and it turned out all of them were dead! T__T They're charging now, so I'll amuse you with a webcam shot.

There. Ha-ha!

Enjoy the unknown

2009-11-17T00:43:00.005+02:00

Today was not my day. I planned on waking up early, and getting my project done. I ended up waking late, had to cancel my appointment with the mental health nurse (don't worry, I merely rescheduled), draw a couple of sketches and would've forgotten breakfast if it weren't for Miss Bunnyhopp. The back tire of my bike is busted, so I was late for school, and I forgot my wallet at home, so Miss Bunnyhopp had to pay for my fabric purchases.

I looked at my pinstripe top at school, figured out what to fix with it (it's too big, one of the pieces is a weird shape, but all in all, it'll be good once I have more time to spend on it), and then stole Miss Bunnyhopp's skirt pattern once again. I made that one a little too big again, since she's smaller than me, but it's going to be pretty as well. Hopefully I'll actually wear it when it's finished, since it's pink jeans fabric with brown roses on it... Not exactly my style? Well, judging by my room, it's exactly my style...my room is very pink...f^^; Especially now, since I turned on my winter lights again. They were supposed to be purple, but in reality they're pink, and since they're already a year old, they've burned yellow. =(

We're planning on hitting the gym and swimming pools tomorrow morning, Miss Bunnyhopp and I, so I should probably go to sleep now. I'm going to watch another episode of Supernatural though, I'm almost up to date now and things have gotten really interesting... Hopefully my school project will advance tomorrow.

I've got no pictures this time either, my bumming around this morning lead me to not actually putting on any makeup or even my contacts.

P.S. 'Gank' is my new ultimately favourite word. Thank you, Dean Winchester! *heart* "Let's go gank us a Paris Hilton."

P.P.S. For some reason I've been hearing my name screamed at me a lot the past two or three days... I guess I've been embarrassing Miss Bunnyhopp with my perverted little remarks. xP Not to worry, I'm not going to stop...*evil grin*

Some men can truly be like chocolate

2009-11-15T20:10:00.004+02:00

(but most of them are more like shit)

We cleaned up today, hip hip hooray! \(^_^)/ I moved around some stuff in my room too, so it's all nice and cozy again. And clean!

My Siamese Twin also came to visit, which was great, cause I haven't seen her in ages! It was good to see her again, I didn't realise how much I had missed her until now. *heart*

Other than that today's been a typical lazy Sunday, and I'm craving chocolate...I don't care what Miss Bunnyhopp says, I'm gonna hit ABC and go get some! xP

...I'll probably want to draw on some eyebrows before I go though...

P.S. Awesome song btw. Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows - Some Men Are Like Chocolate

Imagine

2009-11-15T00:30:00.002+02:00

12-hour nights seem to be a standard now. O_o Shame I can't get to bed until around 1am...

Haven't eaten anything but crap today, so I need some real food tomorrow. Too much chocolate and chips and shit, no wonder I'm such a fatty. =(

Today's been weird, but kinda fun. Miss Bunnyhopp and I've been acting like freaking 15-year-olds, running around the house giggling and teasing each other about boys. xP She's been talking to this one dude and stressing about what to say to him, so she kept bugging me for help. Like I'm one to help, with my relationships going haywire as it is...-__- Anywho, I've been sharing my intel with her, and hey, it got her the dude's number, so it can't be all bad...;P

I got me to drag my own and Miss Bunnyhopp's butt to an anime club meeting this evening, since we're flat-ass broke and I'm not really supposed to drink right now. Girl's gotta find some entertainment tho...xP We didn't actually watch any of the anime, nor really act social with people, we just talked and giggled with Mr. Pirate, a friend of ours for two hours. [Sorry dudes, if I don't know what you like to be referred to here, I'll just make it up. xP] That was a lot of fun, and it feels great to laugh again.

We got back home in time to watch Bones, and after that I've just been a computer mushroom. Shame I didn't take any pictures of myself today, I wore very simple makeup, and this really cute short black skirt Miss Bunnyhopp lent me. Well, actually, the skirt will be mine for a few euros, but meh.

Those of you who know me might have already spotted that I like to use song titles or lyrics as the topics of my posts or to describe how I feel. I love music, and I don't really care what genre it falls into as long as it awakens emotions in me aka I like it. I've never been good with with words, especially spoken, since I don't want people to see my true emotions. I'm scared of what they will find if they look deep into my eyes. I fear that they will see this lonely little girl sitting in the dark, fading into shadows...and they'll take one good look at her and walk away.

I'm lonely. All I really want is to be loved. But it's not easy for a broken girl.

I'm not fine, I'm far from it. But one day I will be better, and I'll be able to truely love and accept love again. Until that day...I'll continue to dream. It's all I can do, for now. Dream...

Horror Show

2009-11-13T21:49:00.005+02:00

Another 12hour night. Feels kinda nice for a change.

I talked to mom today about my school project, and we decided that I'll make her a pair of pants. I know the style now, and I took her measurements, so it should be fine. I'll draw a couple of sketches for her to choose from, and then make the required detailed paperwork by Wednesday, when I have to hand in everything for the first evaluation.

Miss Bunnyhopp and I wandered around town a bit, and then she decided to go see a movie. I refused to go with her, since I'm not a big fan of scary movies and she wanted to go see 'Paranormal Activity'. A friend of ours agreed to go with her instead. I would've much rather gone see '2012', but felt too pathetic to go alone. I feel even more pathetic now that I'm home alone writing this, but meh...

I want to get wasted. I'm tired though, and my contacs have been feeling really dry in my eyes all day. Totally sucks, cause these are supposed to be the improved, breathable lenses. Blah.

Makeup today again Gosh Effect Powders Bright'n'Black and Angelic, eyebrows drawn with BnB as well.

Kaamos

2009-11-12T23:19:00.002+02:00

I slept about 12 hours again, and have been feeling sleepy all day. Not as bad as yesterday though, I seriously felt like "Wake me up when I'm done saying 'duuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..' ...".

I made it to school, where I kept giggling at things with Miss Bunnyhopp, and tried to work on my gansta top, until I realised my patterns don't match and got annoyed. We left school after seven, which is really early, but couldn't be helped.

I fell asleep on the sofa while watching C.S.I., and when I went back to my room to watch it from my computer (my darling comp is so smart, it knew to save the show for me *heart*), I fell asleep again. I did remember to take my sleeping pill before finally falling asleep for good, so yay...

No contacts or makeup today, I haven't gotten anything done, just slept late, watched TV, ate a lot of stuff... I had the munchies and I've been crawing for something all day, but I still haven't figured out what I really wanted. I tried pizza, chips, soda, liquorice, chocolate, pudding... Everything fatty, and still haven't figured out what I really wanted. Annoying.

Fell asleep a couple of times today, but only for short periods of time. I can't help it, it's like I'm storaging up on sleep after being sleep-deprived for some time. It would be fine if I didn't have this project I need to do... After all, I love sleeping...^^;

I've felt a little bit better today. In general I've just been feeling lonely, missing my friends, and longing for a hug.... I miss having someone I can just crawl next to and cuddle. =(

Guard my sleep

2009-11-11T14:08:00.005+02:00

I'm feeling really groggy right now. I took the pill to help me sleep around midnight, but stayed up almost until 1am. After that I've just been sleeping and sleeping... Woke up a few times though, the freaking tiny pill upset my stomach...grr!

I'm glad it works, not so happy about feeling like I could just sleep the rest of the day as well, until it was time to take another pill. I need to go to school this evening, I haven't gotten anything done, and it's already 2pm...

Not really sure what I'll do at school today. I can't really move forward with my project, cause mom doesn't have time until Friday. Maybe I'll try to work on my Lip Service -inspired gansta top, I don't know if my pattern even fits me....

Should probably hit the store and go find something to eat. If only I didn't feel like crawling back to bed again...so sleepy... And cold. It's like the heater in my room doesn't work properly. Grr!

You didn't want me

2009-11-10T16:26:00.003+02:00

I'm officially depressed now. The doctor was very nice, I was expecting to see a male doctor, but to my relieved surprise she was a woman. I told her the basics, said that from what I remember, the medication I had a year ago didn't really work for me, so she prescribed me something else. And something to help me sleep, so yay...

Unfortunately the new pills were quite expensive, so they better be good... Grr! I start them tomorrow morning, and the sleeping pills tonight. I just wish I don't turn into a zombie cause of the meds...

The doctor told me that the medication would take about two weeks to kick in, and if I had more suicidal thoughts, I should just go to the ER and they would admit me in the hospital psychiatric ward for a few days, to help me get through the worst days. I wish I had done that Friday evening, last weekend was hell...

My phone rang when I got home, and now I have an appointment to see a mental health nurse (depressiohoitaja) on Monday. I was told I need to make an appointment myself, but I guess the doctor contacted the nurse and she then contacted me to make sure I would actually set a date for my first visit.

I was going to get the swine flu vaccination today as well, but it meant a 2-3 hours wait, and I really didn't feel like standing outside in the cold, especially since it's been trying to rain....yeah, the lines really were that long.

I'm tired. Did manage to scrape in about 6 hours of sleep last night, so yay...

I keep feeling anxious. I know I have a ton of things to do, if I just started them, but I don't feel like it. Don't feel like doing anything. My room is an absolute mess, and I need to wash my sheets and do other laundry as well. I also need to try out basic patterns for a skirt and pants, and focus on my school project, but fuck that. I keep sitting by the computer, listening to music and searching for new artists. I wish I could dance... It might make me feel better both physically and mentally, but a) there's no room here, b) my downstairs neighbour would have a fit (I live in an old house, I don't need to be an elephant to make a lot of noise) and c) I can't even dance... I'm so in love with EBM, especially everything melancholic, and it just makes me want to dance my heart out...

I did manage to do the dishes today, so yay for me. Now if only I'd try to clear the floor and shake my ass while doing it...;) Unfortunately just looking around me brings my already blue mood crashing down. =(

Another sleepless night

2009-11-10T01:27:00.005+02:00

I went shopping with Miss Bunnyhopp before school, but didn't really find anything besides a stretchy headband and a purple Wet'n'Wild Mega Liner. I did have a really greasy icky donut at Arnold's though, cause MBH wanted a muffin and refused to get one without me.

We had an info day at school, about our skills demonstration projects, and I decided that even though I haven't really learned most of the basics, I'm going to try and scrape up a project this winter. I have to do two projects to be able to "graduate" (I still can't take this school seriously...-__-), so if I get through one now and the other in the spring, I'm on schedule.

I freaking look like I'm 14 years old...-__-

The project consists of finding a client, designing an outfit for them, and then making one of the clothes you designed. For example, you design a pant suit, including a top, jacket, and pants or a skirt, and then you make one of them. Except we're not allowed to make a basic skirt, it's supposedly too simple. O__o

There's a ton of paperwork and scheduling that goes into this, and I now have a week to do the first part, which means that by Wednesday next week I need to have coloured sketches of outfits, an outlined plan of the whole process, the drawings for the item of clothing I'll be making, a customer profile etc. etc...

At least it'll keep me busy for a while.

On another note, my lip ring started hurting again, after being ok for nearly two weeks. =( My tongue is feeling partially numb and sore as well, and I think my navel piercing is infected...=( I don't know what caused them all to react so negatively, but I really hope it goes away soon... They're really being a pain in the ass to heal! >=(

I managed to keep most of my makeup where it was supposed to be most of the day. I decided to play around with the effect powders, so today was a Gosh day.

Gosh effect powders Angelic, Bright'n'Black, and Spa
Eyebrows with Gosh blue eyeshadow
Black mascara

Had a horrible night last night (this one's not looking much better either). I was discussing things with people, and I just couldn't get to sleep. The last time I remember checking my cell phone was at 7.40am...and I woke up at noon. I just can't sleep anymore...

I kept talking things through with my ex, and it got kinda bad, I'm sad to say...=( So bad in fact, that I was anxious to run outside in my sleepwear to the nearby bridge, and jump into the icy river...it being the middle of the night there would've been nobody to stop me either.

But I want to be stopped. I'm just trying to scream out how badly I need help... Am I reaching anyone?

P.S. Happy belated birthday Mikichan. This post took forever to write.

Happy Father's Day

2009-11-08T20:44:00.007+02:00

I spent most of the day at my parents', it being Father's Day and all. I also went through a lot of the music my sister had on her computer, and have now about 4G more music myself...(props to Halloween_Jack, I'm pretty sure that's where some of it came from...) I also deleted most of the doubles, so there's a little more free space on my dad's external hard drive now. He doesn't speak English, and it would take forever for him to go through all that, so I was happy to help.

Other than that I haven't really been happy today. It was good to see my cats again, and I talked to my brother for a bit. Mostly about what to do with our (well, mine, actually) old Donald Duck -comics. There's about 10 year's worth of them, thanks to my godfather. *insert heart here*

Mom found me my old long black wool coat. I've missed it, and I wish I'd found it in time for Tampere... Just need to fix it a bit, since the lining is mostly broken, and I've had to remove it from the other sleeve completely. I'll also see if it still fits nicely, and maybe try to take patterns from it. I need a new coat...

I've been feeling really anxious today. I know I'm not to expect hearing from anyone today, cause people are busy, but I've been staring at my phone all day... I just wish someone would call me, text me, anything... I'm lonely. I can't let my guard down in front of my parents, I really don't want them to worry about me...

I made a couple new dreads yesterday, well, I didn't wash them yet. I borrowed some of my sister's old woollen dreads to use as study material for my own dreads. So far I've done pretty good, though I use different wool.

Makeup today consisted of mascara and violet eyebrows. After yesterday's fiasco zebra face with Wet'n'Wild Mega Liner...yeah, I didn't feel like risking it.

Most of the snow is gone now, it's been raining again. =( Here's how it looked at night.

Things are not what they seem

2009-11-07T13:39:00.002+02:00

I'm the type of girl who'll go out in the middle of the night just to enjoy the first fresh snow of the winter. I'm also the type of girl who'll give a snowball to someone as a present. Especially when I realise I've lost my keyes...

Yeah, I did that last night. I was supposed to just go play in the snow, but I decided to take a walk too. By the time I was planning to turn back home I started to look for my keyes, couldn't find them, and kinda panicked. Miss Bunnyhopp was happily sleeping, and I didn't want to wake her up, cause her back still hurted. What did I do?

All in all, I walked 6km in the snow to see my ex. The walk took me about an hour and a half, but I was already kinda halfway there. No, I did not plan it, I had just started walking, and had already picked the route back home. But not being able to find my keyes made me panic, and I knew he was still up. So I made a cute little snowball and just kept walking.

The snowball wasn't very cute by the time I got there (neither was I). He took me in for the night, and we talked. Well, once again, he talked, and I cried my eyes out. I slept on his sofa, well, I tried at least. I stayed up most of the night, and finally fell asleep in the morning. He took me back home around noon, and no worries, my keyes are safe. I spent the rest of the day with Miss Bunnyhopp watching Supernatural and eating. I'm stuffed, and it makes me sick...=(

Why does all this still hurt me so much? Why is it so hard for me to let go? Because I still had feelings for him, feelings I denied from everyone, especially him, even myself. Our relationship was rocky, and it got too hard for me too handle. Nevertheless, I was still 100% convinced we'd end up back together. When I finally realised it was too late...it broke my heart.

I feel like a fool. What we had was unique. A cliché, but it's true for me. I went through so many "firsts" with him (one of them being living with a guy, others I'll leave to your imagination, however dirty it may be....) and he was the only guy I could really be myself with. I trusted him more than anyone in my life. He helped my through the hardest time of my life when my sister died. He held me in his arms through those countless nights I cried after her. And for that I will always love him.

"If you love them, set them free..."
Why is it so hard to do the right thing? Why do the good guys have to suffer? Of course I want him to be happy, even when it's not with me. I can't say I harbour any hard feelings against the girl either. Somehow I see myself in her. She's in the same position I was two and a half years back, getting to know this really great guy who's been hurt by someone he loved so much...

I just wish it wasn't my heart that got smashed into millions of pieces in the process... I may try to put on a brave face in public, even with Miss Bunnyhopp, but when I'm alone... I cry myself to sleep. I just wish the pain would go away... I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up until it didn't hurt anymore... Why do I have to pay the price?

P.S. Let it be known I don't even like winter. I just love snow; the world doesn't seem like such a bad place when everything's covered in pure, white, soft, perfect snow...

Kitiara's pet dragon

2009-11-06T22:45:00.008+02:00

I messed up my eyebrows today, so I made wings out of them. Sorta. Yes, I wore makeup today! Improvement, I guess...I didn't even get that many weird looks, even though I went out in public with this look. I'm surprised. O__o

I've also eaten quite normally. It's kinda hard not to, when Miss Bunnyhopp made an omelet and bacon for breakfast... She wouldn't buy chocolate either, unless I got a box, and she really wanted her chocs...f^^; So I've had chocolate and liquorice today too. Kinda annoyed that I did, but I guess food is just stronger than me. =(

Today was okay, I'm just bummed cause I didn't do anything active. =( I was thinking about going to the gym again, but MBH has hurt her back somehow, and can't really come with me right now. =( My thighs are hurting, which is kinda funny but really annoying. O__o *sigh*

I'm still not doing very good, feeling anxious and just generally bad&sad. I did manage to book a doctor's appointment, but it's not until next week. It's on the same day they're giving piggyfly shots to those who are in the risk groups, so I'm going to get a shot since I have asthma. My mom requested it, and hey, if I die, you'll know not to get it, right?

I finally get to start season 4 of Supernatural, so I'll either head to bed soon, or start watching that. Maybe both.

Oh and whoever knows who Kitiara is, gets a bonus point! Takhisis might fit better here, but for some reason Kitiara sounded better in my head. No, I don't like her. I just felt evil. (and wore all black)

I like my hair a little better now, after my bangs got a bit more shape.
They're still gray though...

Gosh Effect Powders Angelic & Bright'n'Black
Wet'n'Wild Eyeliner pen
Black mascara

NP: mind.in.a.box - Change

2009-11-05T18:50:00.003+02:00

I've liked this song for a while but only today looked into the lyrics more. Now I absolutely love it... See for yourself.

and I will never see the truth,
this is not a matter of my youth.
I do not need anybody else,
bonds would put my mind into cells.

and I will never know I was wrong,
never listen to those truly strong.
I do not fear anything that's not me,
ignorance is the ultimate key.

but I wouldn't want to live like this forever.
but change myself? never, never!
the very thought sends shivers down my spine.
I'm sure everything, everything will be fine.

I am the one who cries out at night,
for somebody to change my very core.
not sure why I live in endless fright,
doomed to love only myself forevermore.

I am the one who has no real friends,
shallow people flocking to my banner.
always trying to make easy amends,
cherishing my own overbearing manner.

life - always fragile.
I will never change.
love - always fleeting.
I will never change.

life - always fragile.
I will never change.
love - always fleeting.
I will never change.

but I wouldn't want to live like this forever.
maybe I really was too clever.
but I wouldn't want to end like that.
I would die lonely and incredibly sad.

I will never drag myself out of this,
the shadows of my past bogging me down.
feeling lost in turmoil and crisis,
my face forever set in an endless frown.

I have been hurt beyond mental repair,
thence destined to suffer eternal damnation.
no one can be there for me to care,
but without I will never find salvation.

lust - always empty.
but I will never change.
death - always tempting.
but I will never change.

lust - always empty.
but I will never change.
death - always tempting.
but I will never change.

everything is about control.
I must never slip, nor ever fall.
anything is possible for me.
I must never doubt, and finally be free.

and finally be free.

Food? No thanks.

2009-11-05T17:00:00.004+02:00

I'm on my way to an eating disorder and the funny thing is I'm willing to embrace it...

I lost a couple kilos the past two days. No appettite. I loved how my tummy looked like this morning, all flat. Then I had some tea, and bloated up like a balloon. =( I had a kaki aka sharon fruit for breakfast. Miss BunnyHopp made pita kebab, and pushed me to eat two.

I'm fighting the urge to go barf them up. One was good, but two felt like pushing it. I feel fat, and am giving myself a hard time for eating the second one. I want to go out for a walk and even try running a bit.

Still no makeup today, I was going to open up a fresh pair of contact lenses, but I sorta forgot and don't really want to do it anymore for just a couple hours use.

I have smiled and laughed today, so a slight improvement there. I am, however, feeling really anxious all the time, and literally pushing the depression away. It just pushes back, and it's stronger than me... The later it gets, the harder it is for me. I fear the night.

Still, no tears today, at least so far. Tomorrow I might actually think about putting on some makeup, and maybe take a picture or two. I was supposed to clean up my room and do the dishes today, and I started to do that, but didn't get too far.

Oh, before I forget: Something cool happened today, of which Miss BunnyHopp and I get to be very proud of. The owner of this building had finally listened to us, and today they installed fire alarms and extinguishers in the hallway. We live in this really old spooky wooden house, and our downstairs neighbour smokes in his appartment...so it was about time. Smoking isn't allowed here in the first place, and we've been complaining about it ever since we moved here a year ago. Now there's a fire alarm right above his door, so hopefully he'll finally stop.

I have to go out now, I'm sick of sitting in one place. That's good, I guess, that I keep wanting to move. I just need a push to actually get a doctor's appointment...I'm scared.

I'm still standing

2009-11-05T00:36:00.004+02:00

Today I thought that since I have this great urge to hurt myself, I might as well try to use it to my advantage...so when the walls started collapsing on me again, I took bathing gear with me and headed out. I walked the long road to the sports hall, and hit the gym. I didn't tell Miss Bunnyhopp, because I feel like I can't take anyone's company right now...she's mad at me now, and I'm sorry about that, but I had to be alone.

I wasn't at the gym for more than 40 minutes, but since I haven't gone in so long I figured it'd be enough to make my muscles ache tomorrow. There's was this bearded guy who kept looking at me, and I really hope it was in a curious way as to why I looked like shit with my dirty hair, puffy eyes and no eyebrows and not because he found me cute like that. -__-

After the gym I went soaking in the steam sauna, and then hit the pool. I didn't swim for very long either, the warm pool with the massaging waterfalls was reserved so I couldn't get there, which bummed me out. I could really use a massage right about now... I still felt like shit, so I went back to the sauna, realised I was alone and shed a few tears.

On my way home I stopped by the game store hoping to see a friendly face. I did, though not the one I expected. I chatted for a bit, and then went home. I stayed on my computer for a bit, and then went to bed. I ignored school completely, didn't even send my teacher a message. After maybe two hours I woke up and realised I hadn't eated anything. I still don't have any appetite, but I managed to eat two pieces of crisp bread (näkkileipä) with some water.

I had been texting with my ex and I asked him to meet me at the pier in order to say goodbye. Long story short - my eyes are even puffier now (I didn't know it was still possible) and I'm cold, but we agreed to do our best to remain friends. And I need that. I can't do this alone. I need my antidepressants back. I need help.

And I really, really hope this friend thing works out this time...he's still the person who knows me best, and one of my closest friends. I know it'll hurt like hell and nothing will be the same again. Which is why I need you guys to help me through the hard times...isn't that what friends are for?

P.S. I'm sorry for turning into such an angsty blogger, but seriously dudes...you don't even know half of it...

Broken...

2009-11-04T11:58:00.002+02:00

I don't know what to do...I feel so lost...
He really broke my heart this time...
I want to hate him, I really do. Hate would make things so much easier...
but I'm too broken to hate...

Farewell

2009-11-03T18:22:00.003+02:00

I was too anxious to sit around and even my bed didn't bring me any comfort...so I decided to head out, before the walls would collapse over me. I didn't really know where to go or what to do, so I just started walking.

It didn't take long to realise where I was heading. To the surroundings of where we used to live. I felt like I had to go there, to see the places I was once happy in. Such a long time ago...

It was windy and very cold, and I might have caught a really bad cold, but I don't care. I got to this nice little pier by the river, and just sat there, lost in thought...until I realised my tears had dried and all I felt was emptiness.

I got up, carefully checked how icy the river had gotten, gave up that thought and moved on to the tiny bridge. I missed that bridge and what it represented. It's where we used to meet up, before we were even dating, way back when we used to be friends.

I crossed the bridge, took a look around, walked back. I'd gotten really cold, so I decided it was time to head back home. I took the shorter route, headed through the city.

I feel like there's no-one I can talk to... The only person who really knows what I'm going through is the person who made me go through it... And I can't rely on him anymore. Not now. I've said my goodbyes. It's time to let go.

It's funny if you think about it. 10 years have passed, and I find myself in the same situation again...sitting in my room, in the dark, listening to Sentenced and feeling so completely alone...

I just wish I had the strenght to keep going...

I was just beginning to trust you...but you let me down again...

2009-11-03T14:45:00.000+02:00

No pictures today. Hell, I barely got out of bed and that's where I'm heading again once I finish this post.

Today my ex-bf told me he found someone over the weekend. Despite everything that's happened between us, it was still a hit below the belt. I've spent the day balling my eyes out and trying to think of reasons not to head for my stash of various painkillers. Or to go find the sharpest kitchen knife.

I knew something was coming. My alarm rang at 9am, but I didn't want to get up. I kept hitting the snooze alarm for 2hours(!) before finally admitting I need to get up at some point. And then I get these news, and I fall right back in.

Trust no-one. That's what life has taught me.

Monday, bleh

2009-11-02T23:18:00.001+02:00

Right, back to date now.

I went shopping for stuff today, needed fresh cases for my new contact lenses. I still have enough solution for about a month, but the packets come with just one case. Found those, and also got this Cailap razor to try on my eyebrows. I hope I won't hurt myself too much with it, it is still a razor, and thus quite sharp...

On my way to school I stopped by Emotion to see if they finally got the new Gosh line, and they did! They didn't have the false lashes or the eyeshadow palette yet, and no idea whether they will get them or not. But! I did get the effect powder ^^ It's funny, I looked for it all over Tampere, and had to get it here. O__o 18 Bright and Black, all mine now. ^^

About the Neutrogena facial products I got earlier...I'm not too happy about them. I started out using the Blackhead removing wash twice a day every other day, and the gel wash in the days between, but quickly moved to using just the Blackhead one. My face isn't any cleaner, the blackheads are all still there and I keep getting spots just like I did before. =( It does leave my face nice and matte, just a tad too dry though, so I'm glad I have the moisturiser as well. That one is a keeper, it makes my face soft, moistured and not shiny at all! ^^

I got 3 natural facial bars in my Elegant Minerals order, and I tried one of them this morning. It's scented Vanilla & Oatmeal, and even though the smell is quite strong, it's still very pleasant. And the results were squeaky clean, quite literally! The other two are Wild Berries and Chamomile and Apricot, but I'll leave those be for now. I think I'll either choose to use the EM facial bar, or keep using Neutrogena, or maybe just mix both. It's hard to find a product suitable for my skin. =(

Oh, I did try the razor, and I don't think I'll end up using it too often. It does a clean job, but it also takes a lot of skin with it, so it leaves my brows sore and screaming for moisturiser. Quite unpleasant. =(

I didn't do anything special at school today, I focused on pockets and made practise pockets for future reference. I think I'll spend Wednesday working on different zippers and collars. Then next week I'll continue with my clothes again. ^^

Saturday

2009-11-02T12:43:00.001+02:00

We spent Saturday afternoon watching movies and playing around with makeup, trying to choose what kind of look we'd do for the evening. You can see I got kinda bored...
Our movies were themed with superheroes, and I got really anxious, cause I finally watched Spiderman 3. Spiderman used to be my favourite superhero, based on the comics I'd read, but after the movies...he repulses me. And it's sad to have that effect from your childhood hero. =( Iron Man was a really cool movie, but then again, it was my first contact with the hero, so I can't really compare it to anything. With the new Batman movies I'm leaning more towards Mr. Wayne now, even though the growling voice thing is ridiculous... Also, our host was playing a PS3 Batman game on Thursday evening, and it was really cool, dark and violent, so that effected the whole Batman image I have as well.

I went for sea-like makeup with my outfit, and used blue and green.
The colours came from Miss Bunnyhopp's palette, I think it's by BeautyUK?
I'm not sure though, but the colours are really vivid and cool. ^^
The eyebrows here aren't finished yet, just outlined.

Still...it feels weird. My alltime favourite comic hero is Lucky Luke though, and I tend to avoid the cartoons, since I love the comics so much. ^^ It's the same thing with Dragonlance Chronicles, I absolutely refuse to watch the cartoon they made based on the books, since I really don't want to destroy the images I have for everything.

After a few drinks my aim was kinda off...xP

Right, back to Halloween topic, and my outfit. Here it is! ^^ Miss Bunnyhopp lent me her brown pirate boots, but I couldn't find a hat. =( It's still cute, right? ^^

---Pictures added to Sunday's post.---

Friday

2009-11-02T12:26:00.001+02:00

I got my Elegant Minerals -order on Thursday, and took all the eyeshadow samples with me to Tampere. I decided to try some of them on Friday, and ended up using two greens. I felt like a lizard, hehe. ^^

The samples weren't exactly the same colour I had expected them to be, but I guess that's because of the differences in monitors. My pictures look completely different on a laptop screen and a table PC screen. I wasn't too fond of some of the colours, but the greens were nice, as well as one of two of the pinks and a black glittery one. Oh and the silvers...*heart*

Elegant minerals eyeshadows Mermaid (lighter) and Rainforest (darker)
Wet n Wild Mega Liner black
WnW black kohl pen
Black mascara

Oh and it snowed!

I'm back =/

2009-11-01T21:40:00.001+02:00

I had a great weekend and a good Halloween. It was nice to go someplace else for a change, and it's kinda sad I had to come back. =(

I got bored in the train, even though the trip only lasted about
an hour and twenty minutes.
Luckily I had my trusty DS, I think here I was playing
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End...xP

I love Tampere so much, the buildings are incredibly beautiful, the roads are all lumpy and fun and annoying, and they had the weirdest street lights - horses, Bugs Bunny, and some weirdo patterns I couldn't even figure out. I wanted to take pictures of everything, but Miss Bunnyhopp doesn't like playing tourist, so I barely have any pictures from my surroundings. =(

I'm a sucker for men with long hair, so I enjoyed wandering around the city aimlessly cause everywhere I looked, there was bound to be at least one more or less cute guy with cool hair...^^

Ehm, I hate birds, and I have this sadistic phantasy of running in the middle
of a flock af pidgeons and just kick one...xD
And this is the one I wanted to kick.
Rest assured, I didn't do it. Yet.

There are some really nice stores in Tampere, but unfortunately I didn't really have any extra money to spend. I did get a Hell Bunny corset top, hair dye, a rose scented candle to burn on the 31st, a chess shot glass, some cheap pirate-themed jewelry...just little things. ^^ Well, except for the top, but that one was discounted too, so it's all good. ^^ My money was mainly spent on the train and bus tickets. =(

Oh, I almost forgot! Eurokangas is fantastic in Tampere, though I actually went to the one in Ideapark. I found this really coold gray floral patterned cotton fabric, and I already have big plans for it. I also got the cheaper black satin to make another pair of bloomers, only I have to remember to adjust the pattern this time.

The Samhain party was cool, everyone was gorgeous and people had really great costumes. It could've been arranged a little better, since there was a ridiculous line to the bar throughout the whole night, and they even ran out of tequila around midnight! O__o Also, I heard today that the doormen had started to charge double for the cloakroom after like two hours since opening. o__O

I had fun though, good music, nice people, (expensive) booze...^^ I did get bummed and lose all interest in partying at one point though. =( I ended up approaching this really hot guy who looked like he just walked out of my dreams...and got rejected. And it really hurt. I guess it's because I haven't been single in such a long time and am kinda rusty with this whole flirting & approaching thing... I just got really depressed.

I mean, naturally I've been burned and had my heart broken. Still, when I think about it, I've been lucky with matters of the heart. I haven't had to look for love for very long, it's always found me. It's the 'staying in love' -part that I have issues with...but that's a whole new story.

But yeah. On the 31st I lit my Samhain candle to protect me from evil spirits. Tonight the candles burn in memory of my sister.

---I'll add pictures of my outfit, my makeup and some random pics from the trip tomorrow. I don't have all of the pictures now, and I really want to install another editing programme on my computer, since the auto-levels in paint.net are all screwed up and it's the only way I know how to fix my pics... -__- ----

Always running late...f^^;

2009-10-29T12:29:00.000+02:00

Argh! Last minute panicking. I've got my outfit ready, and packed a ridiculous amount of stuff to take with me, considering we'll only be there until Sunday...T__T

Anyways, I just wanted to wish everyone a good weekend, a safe Samhain, and a Happy Halloween!! ^^

Yarr! ^^

2009-10-28T16:29:00.000+02:00

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's super wench! ^^ *stops wondering what the SW costume would look like...*

I'm pretty happy with myself today. I got my pirate bloomers done, finished my vest and attached sleeves to a blue/black stripy kitty hoodie. Well, the vest still needs lacing, but it's too late to start hammering the eyelets in right now. I got so much done! ^^

I should still find clothes, makeup, shoes and other stuff that I'm taking with me, but I'm practically falling asleep on my desk, so I'll have to do that tomorrow morning. I hope to get everything done in time, since our train leaves at one-something.

I just can't get over how much I love the pirate outfit. <3 I've wanted one for so long, and actually have a bought one, but it's...well, kinda porno, and way too short to wear out in public, lol! The only thing I need to decide is what shoes to wear, and whether I still want to be a zombie pirate, or just a pirate...^^

Gray/Silver makeup today, kinda inspired by the line
"Colours last a lifetime and fade to gray"
H&M Superstar Silver eyeshadow
Rimmel Colour Rush 080 Glitzed
Black eyeliner and mascara

Late night thoughts

2009-10-27T23:25:00.001+02:00

I'm thinking about adding a Tagboard here, like in my other blog. I just don't know where to find a good one, since the one I have there is only available for one site at a time. Recommendations are welcome. Comments in general are appreciated, so if you have something to say, please do so.

I've been trying to figure out whether I still have the money to buy more contact lenses, and came to the conclusion that I'll make it, so I ordered Air Optix Aqua for six more months. I also got 30 pairs of Focus Dailies, since I got them quite cheap and they're really handy. ^^

I'm quite worried that my plans for Halloween won't work out in the end. =( We're supposed to take over Miss Bunnyhopp's sister's place for the weekend, but MBH said her sister suspects having the piggy flu aka H1N1 virus. Hopefully that's not the case, and we get to spend a fun weekend, virus free. =/

I used the day quite well: drew the patterns for the bloomers and the skirt, and cut the teal satin ready for tomorrow. The bloomers are fairly simple to make, so I should have time to finish the vest as well. I managed to make it fit a little better, but it differs so much from the original pattern, that it'll be really hard to cut and add the lining now. Since it's mainly just for the Halloween outfit, I think I'll make due, and then adjust the pattern more for pirate outfit number two. The other one will have a lilac skirt, silver white vest, and the same white shirt I made for this one. ^^ Hopefully I'll find some of the cheaper black satin, so I can make the bloomers I originally wanted, if they fit. ^^

I also tried out a shirt pattern I drew. I took it from a simple t-shirt I had, drew it out, and then changed it to suit my needs. I used thin purple tricot for it, I know, I should've used something non-stretchy, but I had nothing right now. The pattern still needs to be modified a little, since one of the parts was the wrong shape. It's not too bad though, for my first pattern modification. ^^ The actual shirt will be made from this black pinstripe fabric, and will need a zipper since it doesn't really have much stretch in it.

Blabbing on about my sowing projects again...I guess it's time for bed. ^^

Frustration

2009-10-27T16:02:00.001+02:00

Yesterday at school, when I was making my pirate skirt, it hit me. I don't have a backup plan for my outfit... Yes, the skirt failed. But only because the fabric I used is so much thicker and heavier than what was recommended. It seriously looks like I'm wearing curtains. T__T Then I went through my patterns, and had a sigh of relief - luckily I had stashed up on all the pirate patterns I could find. I'll make bloomers now, and maybe try to make a different skirt, that fits the pattern better. ^^

I went out shopping for more fabrics, cause I really wanted to make the bloomers out of black satin. I decided I need to make a scarf as well, one that I can just tie around my waist. Well, did the local fabric store have any black satin? Yes. Was I willing to pay 11,90e/metre for bridal satin? No. I discovered that the store has pretty much replaced every single roll of regular satin (3,90e/m) with bridal satin, which costs almost three times as much. A year ago they still had regular satin in really nice colours, all 3,90e/m. Now that they've moved, I could only find 3 rolls of regular satin, 4-5 stretch satin, and about 10 of bridal satin. It's ridiculous! I ended up buying this teal satin (it was the nicest of those 3 regular ones I could find) and a piece of white organza for the waist scarf. I'm SO not happy with the store, it sucks that it's pretty much the only fabric store here. =(

So now I need to draw the pattern on my own paper, once again, since the pattern papers Simplicity, McCalls and Butterick use are very thin and silky, and I may need to use the other sizes in the future...-___- Those are a pain in the ass to draw, especially since I don't have a good table. I don't want to wait until tomorrow either, I still need to try and salvage the vest.

Luckily I've already got a pack of hairdye, so I can finally touch up my roots with black. I think I'll leave that for Thursday morning at the latest, today I'll focus on the clothes. My bangs will remain blonde until I finish the dreads, and go find a pink that matches them. ^^

Oh, I had also planned to go get a black Gosh effect powder today, but when I got to the only store that I know sells them here, they had none. They hadn't gotten any yet, they had no idea if they were going to get them, and if they did, when they'd be available. I'm really sick of getting answers like that, I wish someone would just take the time to actually find me the answers aka did their job...-__-

At least I finally got to start season 3 of Supernatural, so yay. ^^

I liked yesterday's makeup so much I tried to recreate it with a different eyeliner. It was cool, cause I always use black liquid eyeliner, and the metallic one yesterday proved that I don't need to. I'm just not very good at using kajal pens, so it'll take some time getting the hang of it...unfortunately the lilac I used today was too similar to the eyeshadow, and doesn't really stand out. It's still a nice combination though. ^^

Random lilac two-tone eyeshadow in a really cute metal box
Wet n Wild Metallic Lilac eyeliner pen 9
Black mascara

Blah!

2009-10-26T14:29:00.001+02:00

I hate the weather, it's gray, rainy and just sucky. I'm also getting really mopy and annoyed because of it, since I need to head out with my bicycle in just a few minutes. Not in the mood for catching another cold. I burned my tongue as well, so I'm extra cranky today. Grr!

Turns out the vest pattern I drew and cut already had seam allowances included, so for now it's huge. Need to adjust it at school, and then find a lining fabric and do the same. Hopefully it won't be too much of a hassle, but knowing my luck I wouldn't bet on it... And I thought I could've spent today doing pocket and collar samples. *sigh*

Season 2 of Supernatural is finished now, only a couple episodes I missed the first time around. So now it's time for the goodies, season 3, of which pretty much every episode is new to me. Yay! Good times ahead. ^^

My pirate gun is looking good, painted nicely. I haven't done anything to the goggles yet, but there's no hurry, I won't need them just yet.

I was going to do a very earthy brown look today, but going through my makeup I realised that I had gotten rid of everything boring aka brown. No brown eyeshadows, no nothing. O__o I did find a matte plum two-tone shadow though, so I decided to combine it with the bronze/copper/whatever Wet n Wild eyeliner pen I got last week. Here's what it looks like.

The reason I wanted to do a really natural look is that I discovered I can finally put my hair into two little piggy tails, and I feel very girl-next-door, hehe. ^^

I hate Sundays

2009-10-25T23:50:00.001+02:00

Not much to report today, had a lazy, boring and frustrating Sunday. My sowing machine doesn't work, so I'll have to ask my dad to look at it. Watched a lot of Supernatural (season 2), coloured some of the clothes sketches I made earlier, and was a total couch potato. No pictures today, makeup was boring and consisted of just eyeliner and mascara. Didn't take one single photo today.

Ended up going to an otaku club meeting, haven't been to one in a long time, but I got really bored and wanted to leave the house before I went nuts. My ex offered me a ride there as well, so I decided the check it out. I used to be a part of the crew arranging that stuff, but when the formed leader of the group decided to quit and was replaced by this other guy, I quit. I have my issues with him, so I refused to have anything to do with the activities as long as he was in charge. He still is, and will continue to be, but at least I can't be forced into anything I don't agree with anymore.

There were very few people there this evening, and there wasn't really much to do. I ended up playing with my NDS, which I was glad to have taken with me. A friend of mine helped me get a little further in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. We also noticed, that it's possible to play a game that only one of us has, so we had a Taiko no Tatsujin 2 match. ^^ Sounds geeky, but NDS is actually the very first game console I've ever owned, and I'm still learning to use it. xP Haven't played in ages either, so it was fun for a change.

Afterwards we drove around with my ex for some time, and talked about things. I told him how hard the situation is for me, and I feel like it's too early for us to be friends just yet. It's fine when there are people around, but things get really awkward when it's just the two of us, I don't know how to act.

I don't know what will happen in the future, but I'm hoping to make a clean break from the life I lead now. My friends have just sorta faded away, and I don't really mind either. Yeah it pisses me off that nobody cares enough to stay in touch, but I'm so sick of all this bullshit going around in this circle of friends. I want to start fresh someplace else. It'll be lonely, but at least I'll stay true to myself.

Fun Friday, slow Saturday

2009-10-24T23:18:00.001+03:00

No post yesterday, sorry about that. I wore so much pink it was almost ridiculous: a pink skirt, a pink t-shirt, pink-black socks, short black shirt over the t-shirt, pink makeup, 2 pink bracelets, pink-black bracelet, pink bow in my hair, pink underwear...xP Yeah, I was pink. I could've worn pink shoes as well, but went with my usual black ones.

I got a huge bag full of fabrics from the big store yesterday: white tricot with newspaper print (dress and a shirt, here I come), weird pink-beige stripy tricot that I didn't realise I had actually bought until today when I hang it to dry O__o, wine tricot, stretchy elastic tricot (for form-fitting shirts with puffy sleeves), pretty blue college, black and white big stripe college (I'm planning on making a really long pixie-style dress/coat with this one), purple vinyl for detailing, and a bunch of zippers and some nice elastics. My mom sponsored the trip, which is great, cause I'm still flat-ass broke. T__T I've already shrunk the darker fabrics, so tomorrow means a trip to the washing machine for the white stuff. ^^

So I had pink makeup yesterday, and I just applied more for the evening plus fixed my eyebrows. We went the see The Final Destination 3D even though the tickets cost an outrageous 12 euros. I liked the movie, but I expected more from it since they advertised it with "Death saved the best for 3D", so I was kinda disappointed, especially since the tickets were so expensive. I have enjoyed the first movies though, and it followed the familiar pattern with people dying with as much blood and grossness as possible, so there were those fun moments too.

After that I headed to the bar with Miss Bunnyhopp, we just wanted to go out and hang out. The night turned out to be quite a lot of fun in the end, even though neither of us got drunk. There was this band playing, one that I've never heard about, Tracy Gang Pussy. The first couple of songs were kinda okay, but after that I just got really bored since it all sounded the same, the whole gig felt like one neverending song since it all sounded the same. The only word I can come up with to describe them is emorock, and they looked the part too. I hate the word emo by the way, as well as categorising, but man, I just have to use it here...

Anyways, turns out the guys were French, and after some eyeing from a couple of them and from Miss Bunnyhopp, I decided to drag her to meet them. There was some miscommunication between us, since I find the French accent quite hard to understand, but they were saying something about us going with them to Stockholm, where they had their next gig. O__o Oh and Miss Bunnyhopp and the guitarist got along very nicely, if you know what I mean...;) We ended up with really crappy pictures of us and the band dudes, both of us bought a tiny pin as a "souvenir", and I got a drumstick. I like drummers. ^^

We kept laughing all the way home, it was just too funny. I hid the drumstick under my pillow and tried to imagine it was given to me by my favourite drummer, the hunky Master Tommy, but unfortunately I just had a really weird dreams. He did appear in the last one though, but it was completely weird, and there was a gigantic red beetle in the dream, which ended up attacking me and scaring me awake. O__o

Here are some pictures.

I hate that picture, I look like a freaking emofag. I really dislike those longer partitions on the sides, but every time I try to cut them Miss Bunnyhopp intervenes and says they're nice. Maybe I'll just get rid of them next week when she doesn't see... Oh and I'm so glad my dread project is coming along nicely, I'll get to pretend I have long hair again...-__-

Ooh, for the record, my hair is what it is because it was in a really bad shape and I cut it short to grow it back healthier, but it's still really short. I don't want to cut it any more, because I want to keep it long enough all over to put in dreads. I've also tried to dread my own hair, but it's too silky for that. So part of why it was so unhealthy is due to the dreading process. I promised myself black hair for the winter, but since i get bored so easily, I left the bangs blonde so I can keep switching the colour in them at least. They've been teal and blue so far, next I'm gonna go with magenta/purple/pink.

The story of my hair. All in all I've had dreads three times now, all synthetic. The first ones I had were storebought, and really thin, quite poorly made too. I had them in my hair twice, in two different combinations. The ones I had last time I made myself, synthetic, some of them softish and others quite hard, because I'm still learning how to make them. They were also falling apart, which sucks ass, cause I spent A LOT of money on the fibers. =( Unfortunately I can only use the dreads for short periods of time, because they start to scratch my skalp and have left the back of my head very sore every single time. I'm hoping the woollen ones I'm making won't cause so much problems. =/

Today I've been needle felting black wool together with the pink/purple I have, and washed 3 of them into their final shape. I have 18 waiting to be soaped, and I think I need to make twice as much to be all set. Luckily I can do that with the wool I have, so no need to buy more. ^^ Unless I want to try another colour...^^; Luckily the second season of Supernatural arrived on Friday, so I've spent a really relaxind day with that and the dreads. ^^

Black and white

2009-10-22T16:53:00.001+03:00

Went to bed quite late last night, so I slept in this morning. Miss Bunnyhopp wanted to go out shopping, so I went with her. I don't have too much to spend on anything extra, but I needed a new eyeliner since the old one is dying on me. I bought a black Mega Liner from Wet n Wild, since it has a superb price-to-quality ratio, and doesn't irritate my eyes. I also found a bargain bin and grabbed three eyeliner pens, also WnW: Metallic Lilac, Silver, and one that doesn't have a name (no. 8) but looks copper to me. I ended up buying these really cute skull hair clips as well. Don't the nostrils just give more personality to the skull dudes? ^^

In the end I didn't get any dreads done today. =( The second season of Supernatural still hasn't arrived, and I spend so much of today either not at home or doing something else that I just didn't get anything I had planned done. I was hoping to have spent the day watching Supernatural and felting at the same time, but hopefully I'll get to do that during the weekend, since I'm already fully booked tomorrow. I'm going to a big fabric store about an hour away from where I live. It's the town I used to live in, but was glad to get away from, though I'm still way too close. My bank is still there, and I have to go pick up my new card, plus visit a few relatives on the way. ^^

Other plans for tomorrow include going to see the Final Destination 3D movie, as I already mentioned, and Miss Bunnyhopp wants to go to a bar afterwards. Tomorrow is also "wear pink day" for breast cancer awareness, and I've already went through my closet for pink clothes. I think I'll also find my pink nailpolish, and paint my nails. ^^ The cause became important to me after I had a tiny benign lump removed from my right breast a couple years ago.

Miss Bunnyhopp was bleaching her hair today to put in some blue hairdye, and I ended up bleaching the remains of the blue from my bangs. I'm not sure I'll put in any other colour for now, since I'm waiting to get my dreads done, but if I do, it'll either be emerald green or pink. Bleaching my hair always makes me miss being blonde...at least then I have the perfect excuse for being a dummy! xP

I got my welding goggles in the mail today, and they are freaky! xD The lower part is a softer plastic than I thought it would be, so I'm not sure paint will stick to it, but it should be fine with the harder plastic. I'm not sure how to switch the lenses to coloured ones though...hopefully this won't become one of my unfinished and forgotten projects....f^^;

Makeup was nothing special today, just eyeliner and mascara with the remnants of the golden glitter. I couldn't get all the glitter out even though I showered, cleaned my makeup AND washed my face. O__o

Anyways, time for nailpolish! ^^

Purple with a dash of gold

2009-10-21T23:16:00.001+03:00

Seven days of blogging in a row, yay for me! (Even though this one almost didn't make it...)

I've been quite busy today. I was really sleepy in the morning, so it was hard to get out of bed, but then my flatmate Miss Bunnyhopp gave me a deadline: she'd go by some tortilla chips if I'd get ready by the time she comes back and then we'd watch movies. And we did. ^^ Yesterday we watched the first Final Destination, today the second and probably tomorrow the third. Then we're all set for the Final Destination 3D -movie that comes to theatres this Friday. ^^

I watched another movie too, Vanity Fair, and kept drawing&writing stuff for school. I managed to get the papers I needed ready in time, and got to focus on my pirate wench shirt when I got to school. Cutting the fabric, sowing, ironing and everything took me 3 hours + cookie break, but it's only missing the elastic from the sleeves and the neckline. Yes, I'm slow at this stuff...-___-

Tomorrow I'll either focus on making the skirt and getting the lining fabric for the vest, or felt some more wool into dreads. I only made one so far, but it turned out quite pretty, so I'm happy with the technique I used. The dreads will be made of two different colours, so I wasn't sure how exactly to put them together.

Today's makeup was made with a purple eye pen that has gold glitter in it, but it didn't last very long, since I was too tired to search for a purple eyeshadow to attach the pen to my lids better. It's very boring, but I wasn't too interested in doing anything special today.

The Sun came out again! ^^

2009-10-20T13:28:00.001+03:00

Today's been a pretty good day, I got a lot of stuff done already by noon, so after that I've been kinda chilling at the computer. ^^

I had my tattoo recolored a bit, since it wasn't as symmetrical as I wanted it to be, and it's looking better already. Now the only thing bugging me about it is the fact, that the blue turned out a lot darker than I had originally planned, but there's nothing to be done with that. =/ All in all, I'm still satisfied with it.

I also bought some stuff: several felting needles to help me with my next dread project; 8 plastic backpack clips in two different sizes (I'm not sure what these are really called); some buttons and the Neutrogena facial products that I've been looking for from all the wrong places.

I only really needed the Blackhead Eliminating Daily Scrub, but they had this special that if you bought two products, you'd get the Moisturiser for free, so I got the Facial Wash too. ^^ They were a little bit more expensive than I thought they would be, but still a very reasonable price, so yay. ^^ Hopefully they'll help me with my skin issues, so I can post more full-face pictures...f^^; It's not that my skin is horrible, I just hate spots, and when taking pictures very close up, they tend to scream "look at me!"....T__T

I managed to find a really cool pirate gun yesterday, and also bought a bling ring to go with it. I don't want to use too much stuff, but the gun will make it more realistic. Though I'm kinda moving towards being a zombie pirate, so I don't know if I'll really need any accessories...f^^; My costume still remains pretty much untouched. I started with the vest yesterday, moved on to a completely different project, and then ended up leaving school early, so I didn't get much done in the end. I'm hoping to fix that this evening at home and tomorrow when I go to school again.

I was happy to found the third season of Supernatural waiting for me in the mailbox, since I just finished watching the first one a week ago. I would've been even happier, if season three had been accompanied by season two, but it should get here by the end of the week. The show is on TV here, and I watched every single episode of season one when it aired, but I'm not sure how much of season two I've watched, but I know I was either still at work or fell asleep during every single episode of season 3, since it aired during the summer, and I was working either early mornings or late evenings. I will be buying season four too, when the box set is finalised, and hope to move on to season five. ^^ I fell in love with the show, and got an enormous kick out of the fact, that being a Gilmore Girls fan, I was accustomed to knowing Jared Padalecki by the name "Dean", and keep telling everyone how funny I think it is that in this show Dean is his brother, Jensen Ackles...xP I also loved how they pointed to Gilmore Girls in one of the episodes, where "Sam" got the shivers "for some unexplained reason" while they were visiting the production studios. xD

Ok, enough about that. ^^ The sun is actually showing today, so I guess that's one of the reasons I'm in such a good mood. ^^

Today I decided to try on the new lashes, so here they are. ^^ I still need to practice putting them on tho...

Shopping and school, in that order

2009-10-19T14:29:00.001+03:00

Mom took me shopping this morning, which was really nice. I got a couple of shirts, but I also got some makeup stuff as well: a Wet n Wild Rock Solid nail polish in Quartz of Course (a dark shimmery pink); L'Oreal Roll'on True Match foundation; and BodyTalk black fake lashes with baby pink diamonds on them. I've been really curious about the Roll'on foundation, but it's ridiculously expensive. I decided to give it a go nevertheless. It does leave a velvety feeling on your face, and the roll is pretty easy to work with. The only bummer so far is that when you're dipping the roll in the foundation the edges take in more foundation than the centre does, so it leaves slight lines which are easily blended in rolling around more.

My main issue with foundations is that my skin tends to get really oily during the day, and no foundation stays pretty for very long. There's also the eternal curse of having really fair skin, so most foundations are too dark for me. Even now I'm getting really paranoid about this one, thinking it's too dark...

I also got some coppertone spray on paint, hopefully it's a metallic shade and not a flat boring colour. There weren't any samples, so I can't be sure...I'll need it in the future, with my steampunk plans. ;)

I'm going to school this evening, so hopefully I'll get my pirate skirt and shirt done, the vest will take a little more time, but I can do that one at home. Actually, I could do all of them at home, but my sowing machine needs a checkup, and my roommate is using her machine most of her free time...^^;

Today's makeup is just a combination of white and green. The pictures suck, cause I haven't seen the sun in 4 whole days now, and the gray daylight is making me not only feel blue, but also look it, and indoor lights make me red. -___-

Sunday, the most boring day of the week

2009-10-18T19:01:00.001+03:00

No makeup today, I've been really tired, and I've tried to focus on my sowing projects. I'm planning to go to a Halloween party as a pirate lady, and I've already bought the fabrics and drawn the patterns. I'm using a mixture of patterns; shirt and skirt from McCall's and vest/bustier from Butterick, the skirt and vest/bustier slightly modified. I'm hoping it will turn out ok, I just wish I could find an old fashioned toy gun or a sword to go with the outfit. I'll need a nice hat as well, but I think I'll need to make that one myself as well. Maybe I'll just make a minihat, and put some cyberlox in my hair. I'm going to a gothic Halloween party, so I wanna be a twisted pirate. ;)

I also ended up ordering a pair of welding goggles that I'm hoping to paint and modify to fit my needs. I wanna make them scream steampunk, so I'll need to figure out which kind of paint to use, and find some nice old watch parts, hehe. The base colour is green, so I don't know if I want to touch that, or make it black. This'll be my first project of this sort, so it'll be interesting. ^^

About sowing, I'm sorta aiming to be a seamstress at the moment, though I'm taking my studies more as something to pass my time, than actually aiming for a degree. I'm only studying part time, and I've already got a degree in International Business. The school also turned out to be quite a disappointment, since I basically have to learn everything by myself, and even more so, the hard way, since I tend to learn better from the mistakes I've made. *sigh*

So for now I'm just trying to improve my skills by making clothes for myself, which is kinda nice, or at least it could be, if I actually finished something or liked what I have created. Not an easy task, believe me...f^^;

Hmm, I guess this thing that originated as a random plog is turning out to be more focused on makeup and my sowing projects, as well as some other random projects I want to do...^^; Who knows, maybe I'll end up posting stuff about places I've been to as well. Time will tell.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this blog, and I hope to improve my writing, makeup, and advance in my sowing "studies". See you! ^^

Cherry blossoms in the snow

2009-10-17T19:04:00.001+03:00

Today brought along the first snow in my city this winter. It melted away pretty soon, and there wasn't much of it to begin with, but it makes me sad to have to finally acknowledge that winter's almost here. I'm a summer person myself, and hate being cold.

I had already decided to wear pink (hence the sakura, ie. cherry blossoms) today, so added white to represent the snow. I would've wanted to draw tiny flowers and flower petals in the outer corners and on my brows, but I didn't have enough time since I had to run some errands. Here's how my eyes looked today:

And here's me again, black rings under my eyes, as usual. ^^;

Stuff I used:
H&M Eye Shadow Superstar Silver
H&M Eyeshadow Mauritzius(?) -the white half
BeautyUK metallic eye pods eyeshadow no. 1 (pink)
Wet n Wild Mega Liner (black)
Rimmel Extra Super Lash (black)
StarGazer Kohl 4 pen (pink)
Lyra Natura Eyeliner pen 511 (white)
MF (guessing Max Factor? This stuff is OLD, way older than it should be...) Lash Highlighter white (meant for the tips of your lashes and for drawing stuff on your face, not suitable for use as eyeliner)

Ooh I almost forgot! I finally decided to order some of the mineral makeup I've been dying to try, so expect to hear something about those later on. ^^ I ordered samples of things for now, but if I like them, I think I may end up buying more in the future.