Sleepwalker

Wow that last post was really angsty...O_o Well, I've had my chocolates & chips -fix now, so it's all good. ^^

I didn't do pretty much anything yesterday, and I planned to continue on the same lines today. It's too damn cold to go outside. In fact, it's so cold our water pipes are frozen, and we don't get any water in the bathroom. I'm glad I managed to get my hair dyed yesterday, when there was still enough warm water for a shower!

My hair is all black now, and I look really odd, cause I've always had at least some part of it lighter. I got so tired of maintaining two colours in my hair that I decided to dye my bangs as well. Maybe this will also help me get rid of that 'emogurl17yrsold' -image people have of me...*sigh*

I'm thinking I'll try and grow my hair long again, I miss having it long. My hair is really thin though, especially now after the dreads, so it might look a bit sad. =( Oh well, I've still got two long-haired wigs if all else fails.. ;)

I've been sleeping a lot. I feel like a bear. *heart*

About me and Mr. Boogeyman...well, there is no nor will there be an 'us' there. I tried, but maybe I remained too detached...I don't know. The spark was missing, that much I know. My Dark Prince is still out there.

Imagine

12-hour nights seem to be a standard now. O_o Shame I can't get to bed until around 1am...

Haven't eaten anything but crap today, so I need some real food tomorrow. Too much chocolate and chips and shit, no wonder I'm such a fatty. =(

Today's been weird, but kinda fun. Miss Bunnyhopp and I've been acting like freaking 15-year-olds, running around the house giggling and teasing each other about boys. xP She's been talking to this one dude and stressing about what to say to him, so she kept bugging me for help. Like I'm one to help, with my relationships going haywire as it is...-__- Anywho, I've been sharing my intel with her, and hey, it got her the dude's number, so it can't be all bad...;P

I got me to drag my own and Miss Bunnyhopp's butt to an anime club meeting this evening, since we're flat-ass broke and I'm not really supposed to drink right now. Girl's gotta find some entertainment tho...xP We didn't actually watch any of the anime, nor really act social with people, we just talked and giggled with Mr. Pirate, a friend of ours for two hours. [Sorry dudes, if I don't know what you like to be referred to here, I'll just make it up. xP] That was a lot of fun, and it feels great to laugh again.

We got back home in time to watch Bones, and after that I've just been a computer mushroom. Shame I didn't take any pictures of myself today, I wore very simple makeup, and this really cute short black skirt Miss Bunnyhopp lent me. Well, actually, the skirt will be mine for a few euros, but meh.

Those of you who know me might have already spotted that I like to use song titles or lyrics as the topics of my posts or to describe how I feel. I love music, and I don't really care what genre it falls into as long as it awakens emotions in me aka I like it. I've never been good with with words, especially spoken, since I don't want people to see my true emotions. I'm scared of what they will find if they look deep into my eyes. I fear that they will see this lonely little girl sitting in the dark, fading into shadows...and they'll take one good look at her and walk away.

I'm lonely. All I really want is to be loved. But it's not easy for a broken girl.

I'm not fine, I'm far from it. But one day I will be better, and I'll be able to truely love and accept love again. Until that day...I'll continue to dream. It's all I can do, for now. Dream...

Kaamos

I slept about 12 hours again, and have been feeling sleepy all day. Not as bad as yesterday though, I seriously felt like "Wake me up when I'm done saying 'duuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..' ...".

I made it to school, where I kept giggling at things with Miss Bunnyhopp, and tried to work on my gansta top, until I realised my patterns don't match and got annoyed. We left school after seven, which is really early, but couldn't be helped.

I fell asleep on the sofa while watching C.S.I., and when I went back to my room to watch it from my computer (my darling comp is so smart, it knew to save the show for me *heart*), I fell asleep again. I did remember to take my sleeping pill before finally falling asleep for good, so yay...

No contacts or makeup today, I haven't gotten anything done, just slept late, watched TV, ate a lot of stuff... I had the munchies and I've been crawing for something all day, but I still haven't figured out what I really wanted. I tried pizza, chips, soda, liquorice, chocolate, pudding... Everything fatty, and still haven't figured out what I really wanted. Annoying.

Fell asleep a couple of times today, but only for short periods of time. I can't help it, it's like I'm storaging up on sleep after being sleep-deprived for some time. It would be fine if I didn't have this project I need to do... After all, I love sleeping...^^;

I've felt a little bit better today. In general I've just been feeling lonely, missing my friends, and longing for a hug.... I miss having someone I can just crawl next to and cuddle. =(

Guard my sleep

I'm feeling really groggy right now. I took the pill to help me sleep around midnight, but stayed up almost until 1am. After that I've just been sleeping and sleeping... Woke up a few times though, the freaking tiny pill upset my stomach...grr!

I'm glad it works, not so happy about feeling like I could just sleep the rest of the day as well, until it was time to take another pill. I need to go to school this evening, I haven't gotten anything done, and it's already 2pm...

Not really sure what I'll do at school today. I can't really move forward with my project, cause mom doesn't have time until Friday. Maybe I'll try to work on my Lip Service -inspired gansta top, I don't know if my pattern even fits me....

Should probably hit the store and go find something to eat. If only I didn't feel like crawling back to bed again...so sleepy... And cold. It's like the heater in my room doesn't work properly. Grr!

Cat attack no 2

Monsieur Mökö