Monkeys and bunnies

Sorry for the late update. It's not that I've been busy, quite the opposite. Miss Bunnyhopp and I didn't get invited to a birthday party and I'm kinda miffed about it. Mainly because of the missed opportunity to see more than one friend at a time. =/

Miss Bunnyhopp and I spent 70 minutes at the gym yesterday, but didn't really spend any time swimming. Too tired, my legs had turned into spaghetti by the time I got to the pool. After that we went and had chinese food, but since we didn't order from their lunch menu, we had to pay full price. I was really annoyed by that because it didn't use to matter before, but for some reason now they've changed their policies I guess. The meatballs were still good, so no complaints. Yes, I had meatballs at a chinese restaurant, and they were fantastic!

It was interesting, on that same trip we both bumped into our exes, and only one of those was awkward. MBH's ex is completely avoiding her these days (he owes her money and refuses to pay up, whiny bitch) and me as well. My ex was just heading for some lunch with a friend when we met him. It was interesting to see him again, I haven't seem him since the snow thing, and haven't really talked to him after that either. I have to say, I no longer imagine we could still fix things and be together. For now I'm just mourning what we had, but hopeful that our friendship can still be repaired. It is too soon for me to see him with this new girl though, but I'll get there. ^^; This time history will not repeat itself!

Yesterday evening Miss Bunnyhopp took over my bed, stared at my stuff and then said we could make monkey bags. For those of you who don't know me, I have this big black monkey skeleton bag that my sister bought while visiting me in Japan. It may not sound like it, but it's in fact really cute. Miss Bunnyhopp had some white PVC, and said she wanted to make one, so we started drawing out the skeleton pattern and cutting the PVC.

This morning I went to the health care center to get the swine flu vaccination, and I was preparing for another 1-2 hour queue. I was happily surprised when I got there, there weren't too many cars, and no queue outside. No visible queue inside either, and when I got to the waiting room, there were only 5 people before me. (^_^)/ I got the seasonal influenza shot as well, so I have tiny bandaids on both of my shoulders. xP The piggy one hurts a little, but nothing else to report about that. If I wake up tomorrow with a snout, then I suggest you not to get the shot...

I didn't even get around eating breakfast after coming home (I was in a hurry once again, so left home without eating), since we headed out to the fabric store to get black fabric for the bags. We didn't manage to find any adjustment buckles though, so I'm not sure what I should do about the shoulder straps. My bag is going to be a cat, well, more like a tiger, and I'll put two shoulder straps on it to make it a backpack. The original monkey one only has one.

I'm surprised my muscles aren't too sore yet. The only ones that hurt are the ones I'm sitting on. xP My arms are a little sore, but that's mainly because of the shots.

Nothing special for makeup today, the same old basic style. I don't know how I should adjust my pictures, cause the black looks gray and you can't really see the white in the inner corners either. =(

Oh and depression wise today wasn't so great: I was cutting the fabric in Miss Bunnyhopp's room, I had my contacts on, I realised I can't see close all too well. There was also a really strange smell coming from the neighbour's appartment, and I just started feeling anxious. I managed to pick up what was happening when my breathing got really uneven and fast. I tried to take deep breaths and I got up, went to get some apple juice and sat on the living room sofa for a while, just breathing. It helped, and the anxiety passed. I just haven't felt all that great the rest of the day. =/

Especially when I tried to play with MBH's bunny (She really does have one, a white fluffy lion bunny. It growls.) and she just kept hopping away from me. In the end she was poking my hand asking me to pet her some more, so all was forgiven. ^^

You didn't want me

I'm officially depressed now. The doctor was very nice, I was expecting to see a male doctor, but to my relieved surprise she was a woman. I told her the basics, said that from what I remember, the medication I had a year ago didn't really work for me, so she prescribed me something else. And something to help me sleep, so yay...

Unfortunately the new pills were quite expensive, so they better be good... Grr! I start them tomorrow morning, and the sleeping pills tonight. I just wish I don't turn into a zombie cause of the meds...

The doctor told me that the medication would take about two weeks to kick in, and if I had more suicidal thoughts, I should just go to the ER and they would admit me in the hospital psychiatric ward for a few days, to help me get through the worst days. I wish I had done that Friday evening, last weekend was hell...

My phone rang when I got home, and now I have an appointment to see a mental health nurse (depressiohoitaja) on Monday. I was told I need to make an appointment myself, but I guess the doctor contacted the nurse and she then contacted me to make sure I would actually set a date for my first visit.

I was going to get the swine flu vaccination today as well, but it meant a 2-3 hours wait, and I really didn't feel like standing outside in the cold, especially since it's been trying to rain....yeah, the lines really were that long.

I'm tired. Did manage to scrape in about 6 hours of sleep last night, so yay...

I keep feeling anxious. I know I have a ton of things to do, if I just started them, but I don't feel like it. Don't feel like doing anything. My room is an absolute mess, and I need to wash my sheets and do other laundry as well. I also need to try out basic patterns for a skirt and pants, and focus on my school project, but fuck that. I keep sitting by the computer, listening to music and searching for new artists. I wish I could dance... It might make me feel better both physically and mentally, but a) there's no room here, b) my downstairs neighbour would have a fit (I live in an old house, I don't need to be an elephant to make a lot of noise) and c) I can't even dance... I'm so in love with EBM, especially everything melancholic, and it just makes me want to dance my heart out...

I did manage to do the dishes today, so yay for me. Now if only I'd try to clear the floor and shake my ass while doing it...;) Unfortunately just looking around me brings my already blue mood crashing down. =(

Happy Father's Day

I spent most of the day at my parents', it being Father's Day and all. I also went through a lot of the music my sister had on her computer, and have now about 4G more music myself...(props to Halloween_Jack, I'm pretty sure that's where some of it came from...) I also deleted most of the doubles, so there's a little more free space on my dad's external hard drive now. He doesn't speak English, and it would take forever for him to go through all that, so I was happy to help.

Other than that I haven't really been happy today. It was good to see my cats again, and I talked to my brother for a bit. Mostly about what to do with our (well, mine, actually) old Donald Duck -comics. There's about 10 year's worth of them, thanks to my godfather. *insert heart here*

Mom found me my old long black wool coat. I've missed it, and I wish I'd found it in time for Tampere... Just need to fix it a bit, since the lining is mostly broken, and I've had to remove it from the other sleeve completely. I'll also see if it still fits nicely, and maybe try to take patterns from it. I need a new coat...

I've been feeling really anxious today. I know I'm not to expect hearing from anyone today, cause people are busy, but I've been staring at my phone all day... I just wish someone would call me, text me, anything... I'm lonely. I can't let my guard down in front of my parents, I really don't want them to worry about me...

I made a couple new dreads yesterday, well, I didn't wash them yet. I borrowed some of my sister's old woollen dreads to use as study material for my own dreads. So far I've done pretty good, though I use different wool.

Makeup today consisted of mascara and violet eyebrows. After yesterday's fiasco zebra face with Wet'n'Wild Mega Liner...yeah, I didn't feel like risking it.

Most of the snow is gone now, it's been raining again. =( Here's how it looked at night.