It's all about the "he says - she says" -bullshit

I cannot remember when I've last been this pissed off. I have been cussing like sailor all day. I think it's a combination of me feeling really ill and weak, and having forgotten my anti-depressants too many mornings in a row, and the fact that Mr. Insanely Tall turned out to be a real douchebag, and I'm angry that he managed to hurt Miss Bunnyhop.

Yeah, I've been lazy with my blog too. I was so bummed out about not being able to use my camera, so I didn't feel like posting anything either, especially since transferring pictures from my cell phone to my laptop was such a pain in the ass. But now my camera is back! Or more like, the battery charger is back, my dad was able to fix it. ^^ Hooray!

I've been sick for two days now. I don't feel like eating, I feel nauseous, weak, dizzy, and my arms and hands keep feeling numb. I think I caught a bug somewhere, and then me having neglected both my asthma and depression meds is adding up to the cocktail. In short, it sucks to be me right now.

I had a really fun Saturday though, I asked my mom to help me make a dress form, cause I can't afford to buy a real fitting doll. We ended up shopping and then talking for quite a long time, and eventually didn't have the energy to start the dress form. Instead, I made Miss Bunnyhopp try out the project this morning, but it turns out, it wasn't the best idea when we're both feeling under the weather... We managed to start it to a degree, but eventually I had to be cut loose, cause I felt like I would pass out. I think I'll still be able to continue working on the same one once I feel better.

The sweater was half-off, and I spotted the bag in Anttila a week or two ago, and I've been longing for it ever since...mom was kind enough to get it for me! Love!

I haven't been doing much lately, the same old same old. When I couldn't do anything fun yesterday, I went trough a lot of my stuff and found things I didn't even remember I had. Since it was pretty clear I wouldn't use a lot of the stuff before, I put most of it up for auction at huuto.net, and already sold some of the stuff. ^^ I've been continuing on that today, and have almost listed everything.

I need to spend tomorrow on my school projects, since I skipped school and had a nice nap instead. I was happy to discover I was feeling much better after I woke up, and even managed to avoid the usual nap headache I tend to get for sleeping during daytime. The first evaluation for the project is on Wednesday, so I need to have everything ready by then. I've got the basic pattern ready, I just need to draw the adjusted ones, make a couple more sketches, and fill out all the paperwork.

Oh, I would've gotten a summer job at Atria again this year, but I wouldn't have been able to start there until mid-June, so I had to turn it down. I'm hoping I've left Assjoki behind me by then, so I would've only been available for a couple of weeks anyways. I really wish they'd read the applications instead of just looking for familiar names...-__-

Okay, I guess that's all for now, I think I'm going to head back to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

P.S. I've really got quite a talent at cropping pictures so that it seems like I'm a fat duck. *heart*

PPS. My nose is massive, thanks for noticing.

Cookiemonster

I haven't baked in aeons, and I'm trying to start again. So far I've only made a couple batches of chocolate chip cookies, the first ones I almost burned, and the second ones still didn't turn out the way I wanted. I clearly need to find a new recipe, preferably an American one instead of the weirdo Finnish versions I've tried. -__-

I've been sporting pretty basic pink makeup looks lately, and haven't really bothered to take pictures of those. Here's a denimy blue style I had the other day.


Tomorrow's Valentine's Day, and I've got no plans so far. Maybe I'll just bake and plan the upcoming trip to Canada. ;P

Avatar

Okay, so I really loved the movie Avatar, clearly not because of the plot (Pocahontas - in space!), but because of how colourful and beautiful they had created the na'vi and their world. I loved the flying creatures, I loved how close to nature they were and how much respect they had for all living things.

That said, this doesn't really relate to the movie, but I was playing around with some green eyeshadow, and ended up creating this strange look. Maybe one day I'll actually try and create an Avatar look of my own, but for now, here's a look I had briefly on January 22nd.



And here's what I actually left home with, realised it was time to head for school, and just wiped most of the makeup off. -__-

Carnival of rust

Biiig big cleaning day today. I went through both of my closets rearranging stuff, and I'm still not finished. I vacuumed my room before I started, I wish I could get the big cranberry rug outside and air it out for once, but it's too heavy for me to move let alone lift it on my own. I can't really wash my floor either, so I'll just have to settle for vacuuming for now. I need a man! -__-;

I've got too much stuff. I'm planning on getting rid of everything unnecessary, so that's why I started this whole project. I'm hoping to sell stuff that's still good, and stuff that isn't, I'll just donate to the Red Cross.

I had fun toying around with the three Models Own eyeshadows I didn't get to try out earlier, here's what I came up with. Yeah, ridiculous, but I didn't have to leave the house. Except I did, went to get some milk and two new metal "shelves" for my closet. Anyway, was just goofing around, not trying to create an actual look.The pictures are bad though. =(

Maybe tomorrow is a better day

I did my eyes with the Models Own powder eyeshadows I bought last week. I used Metallic Lavender and Neon Blue, with black eyeliner and black mascara. It's nothing special, but at least you can see how nice the colours are, quite pigmented and all.

I didn't go to school today, I'm still a little under the weather, and just can't get interested in things. People keep stalking my blog even though things didn't work out with Mr. Boogieman and I, and it weirds me out a bit. I'm trying to make it sound like everything's okay even though it's not, and I don't even know why I bother. I've got two men interested in me (well, one of them is Mr. Monkey, so I don't know whether to count him in or not...), but I just can't get interested in them. I don't want to fall for anyone, I don't want to fall in love. Feelings suck. I had a crush on Mr. Boogieman, I was disappointed, and I let myself down.

I don't want to play this game anymore.

Where did I go wrong?

Sorry for not being very active, I'm trying very hard to take interest in my own life...-_-;

As I mentioned before, Friday would have been my sister's 23rd birthday were she still with us. We were planning on going out to dinner, but got some donuts and chinese takeout instead. She was there in our hearts and minds, and it was nice to spend some time with my family again. My mom had just gotten a new digital camera, and I was testing it by taking pictures of our cats. I don't have any of the pictures yet, but once I get them, I'll probably post one or two.

I've got a cold again, and I've had a small fever the whole weekend and still today as well. I've gotten quite silly at times, which is always amusing to people around me. f^^;

I went to visit my cousin and her fiance in their new home in Ilmajoki on Saturday. Mom said they were going to go there since my uncle was going and the guy's parents were going there too. I wasn't too sure why everyone was going there, but I learded that it's been 4 years since they got engaged, it was on Friday the 13th of January in 2006. ^^ Surprisingly, one more family event I've missed while being away in Japan. ;P They had the most awesome cats, two orange-white boy cats called Tiku and Taku ( Chip n Dale ;) ). Tiku practically just melts in your lap once you start to pet him, so adorable! Taku was more timid, but very playful, the scratches in my arm is a proof of the fun we had together. xP

I spent Sunday just relaxing and watching movies, trying to get some rest so I can recover from this persistant flu. I managed to do my laundry and dishes too, and started drawing a pattern from my Lip Service Nano hoodie. Well, actually there wasn't too much to draw, so only the hood was missing. Not a very exciting weekend.

We walked to school on Monday again, since Miss Bunnyhopp's bike was still broken. That's okay, the walk is not actually too bad, at least when it's not too cold. I was working on the crown hoodie based on the In Vain -patterns I drew last week. I had painted a few D-rings blue, and bought some black ribbon for decoration. I was being very slow sowing the whole thing together again, so I didn't get much done, even though I stayed until the very end.

Today I attended the community college sowing class again, and kept working on my hoodie. I noticed I had brought the wrong black tricot with me, so I couldn't finish the hood. The shirt is looking pretty nice now, I need to finish the hood, attach it to the shirt, and then add the zipper and it's done. Should be finished tomorrow night. Man, I can't believe I'm such a slow worker, this really is an easy thing to do...T__T

My lip is healing nicely, I wish I could say the same about the navel piercing. =(

Here is my latest discovery, 5 powder Models Own eyeshadows from Seppälä. Neon Pink, Bright Grass, Metallic Lavender, Neon Blue and Neon Peach. I will be trying some of them tomorrow. Meanwhile, here's my today's look.

Ok, time to get some sleep.

So Much Is Lost

I've been missing Pepper Lunch, so today I thought I'd make a me-version of my favourite dish there. Mostly just because I had some pork in the freezer, and it came with a pepper butter thingy that I really want to use with rice. The pork chunks are massive though, so it'll be very different from the original, but at least I'll feel nostalgic. ^^


I've meant to write a post earlier, but I kept postponing it and now it's been two days since my last update. On Monday we spent all evening listening to law stuff, and didn't get any sowing done. Annoying. I kept undoing the seams of a shirt I've made earlier that turned out too big in the end. I managed to resow a couple of the seams on our break, but the shirt is still unfinished. I'll be finishing that one today, and making a hooded crop top.

Speaking of tops, my Lip Service clothes finally arrived. I got the Cybertronic Ragdoll Cap Sleeve Hoodie, Cybertronic Ragdoll Nano Factory Mini Dress (both brand spanking new) and the In Vain (? Couldn't find the specifics) Hoodie, which was used, but looks brand new. Love! The Cybertronic Hoodie cost me 41e+shipping, the dress 59e+shipping, and the Vain Hoodie 35e (huuto.net). Hoodies both fit perfectly, and are a size L, but the dress is giving me grief. It's an XL, and it fits nicely around my chest, but is way too lose from the waist, and the neckpiece is choking me. I may need to sell it, which I really don't want to do, or modify it to fit my needs, which I know will make people kill me for committing such blasphemous act! xP I'll see which option wins. For now, I'll lock it safely in my closet.


Miss Bunnyhopp received some mail as well, she got a whole bunch of double-ended dreads she had bought on ebay. So I spent Monday evening braiding them in her hair. We made a deal so I got to keep the dreads she didn't need herself, and I spent yesterday braiding them in my hair. I feel gorgeous again, I love having a full head of hair. I no longer need to be angsty about my own hair, which is nice for a change. It's gotten to the lenght where it keeps pissing me off, cause I need to start styling it in order to like how it looks. -__- Pain in the ass. The dreads are so much more simple, and always look nice. It'll just be a pain in the ass to dry them if we manage to squeeze in more time at the gym and the pools... It's interesting how well the dreads match my hair, since I had no idea Miss Bunnyhopp had bought them. They're mostly black/white ones with a few lilac ones mixed in. Funny how that goes. ^^

Oh and here's my makeup 3 days in a row. Monday was pink and white, Tuesday was gray, and today purple and silver. Same eyebrows in all, I just love that Wet'n'Wild lilac eyeliner pen...^^

Gah, I haven't gotten much done today. I did clean up my room and make dinner, so I guess that's okay. What I was supposed to do however was draw patterns for my big sowing project. I've got a fitting on the 30th and I haven't even drawn the patterns for the pants!

I found myself looking at me thinking 'Sini' today...not even looking in the mirror, I was making dinner and looking down at the frying pan, I saw my arms and the dreads hanging from my head and I just thought that's my sister... It's quite...confusing. I look at myself and I see her, but when I look in the mirror, she's gone. It's me again. I don't know what's happening...

"My identity is not real..."

Another sleepless night

I went shopping with Miss Bunnyhopp before school, but didn't really find anything besides a stretchy headband and a purple Wet'n'Wild Mega Liner. I did have a really greasy icky donut at Arnold's though, cause MBH wanted a muffin and refused to get one without me.

We had an info day at school, about our skills demonstration projects, and I decided that even though I haven't really learned most of the basics, I'm going to try and scrape up a project this winter. I have to do two projects to be able to "graduate" (I still can't take this school seriously...-__-), so if I get through one now and the other in the spring, I'm on schedule.

I freaking look like I'm 14 years old...-__-

The project consists of finding a client, designing an outfit for them, and then making one of the clothes you designed. For example, you design a pant suit, including a top, jacket, and pants or a skirt, and then you make one of them. Except we're not allowed to make a basic skirt, it's supposedly too simple. O__o

There's a ton of paperwork and scheduling that goes into this, and I now have a week to do the first part, which means that by Wednesday next week I need to have coloured sketches of outfits, an outlined plan of the whole process, the drawings for the item of clothing I'll be making, a customer profile etc. etc...

At least it'll keep me busy for a while.

On another note, my lip ring started hurting again, after being ok for nearly two weeks. =( My tongue is feeling partially numb and sore as well, and I think my navel piercing is infected...=( I don't know what caused them all to react so negatively, but I really hope it goes away soon... They're really being a pain in the ass to heal! >=(

I managed to keep most of my makeup where it was supposed to be most of the day. I decided to play around with the effect powders, so today was a Gosh day.

Gosh effect powders Angelic, Bright'n'Black, and Spa
Eyebrows with Gosh blue eyeshadow
Black mascara

Had a horrible night last night (this one's not looking much better either). I was discussing things with people, and I just couldn't get to sleep. The last time I remember checking my cell phone was at 7.40am...and I woke up at noon. I just can't sleep anymore...

I kept talking things through with my ex, and it got kinda bad, I'm sad to say...=( So bad in fact, that I was anxious to run outside in my sleepwear to the nearby bridge, and jump into the icy river...it being the middle of the night there would've been nobody to stop me either.

But I want to be stopped. I'm just trying to scream out how badly I need help... Am I reaching anyone?

P.S. Happy belated birthday Mikichan. This post took forever to write.

Friday

I got my Elegant Minerals -order on Thursday, and took all the eyeshadow samples with me to Tampere. I decided to try some of them on Friday, and ended up using two greens. I felt like a lizard, hehe. ^^


The samples weren't exactly the same colour I had expected them to be, but I guess that's because of the differences in monitors. My pictures look completely different on a laptop screen and a table PC screen. I wasn't too fond of some of the colours, but the greens were nice, as well as one of two of the pinks and a black glittery one. Oh and the silvers...*heart*

Elegant minerals eyeshadows Mermaid (lighter) and Rainforest (darker)
Wet n Wild Mega Liner black
WnW black kohl pen
Black mascara

Oh and it snowed!

Frustration

Yesterday at school, when I was making my pirate skirt, it hit me. I don't have a backup plan for my outfit... Yes, the skirt failed. But only because the fabric I used is so much thicker and heavier than what was recommended. It seriously looks like I'm wearing curtains. T__T Then I went through my patterns, and had a sigh of relief - luckily I had stashed up on all the pirate patterns I could find. I'll make bloomers now, and maybe try to make a different skirt, that fits the pattern better. ^^

I went out shopping for more fabrics, cause I really wanted to make the bloomers out of black satin. I decided I need to make a scarf as well, one that I can just tie around my waist. Well, did the local fabric store have any black satin? Yes. Was I willing to pay 11,90e/metre for bridal satin? No. I discovered that the store has pretty much replaced every single roll of regular satin (3,90e/m) with bridal satin, which costs almost three times as much. A year ago they still had regular satin in really nice colours, all 3,90e/m. Now that they've moved, I could only find 3 rolls of regular satin, 4-5 stretch satin, and about 10 of bridal satin. It's ridiculous! I ended up buying this teal satin (it was the nicest of those 3 regular ones I could find) and a piece of white organza for the waist scarf. I'm SO not happy with the store, it sucks that it's pretty much the only fabric store here. =(

So now I need to draw the pattern on my own paper, once again, since the pattern papers Simplicity, McCalls and Butterick use are very thin and silky, and I may need to use the other sizes in the future...-___- Those are a pain in the ass to draw, especially since I don't have a good table. I don't want to wait until tomorrow either, I still need to try and salvage the vest.

Luckily I've already got a pack of hairdye, so I can finally touch up my roots with black. I think I'll leave that for Thursday morning at the latest, today I'll focus on the clothes. My bangs will remain blonde until I finish the dreads, and go find a pink that matches them. ^^

Oh, I had also planned to go get a black Gosh effect powder today, but when I got to the only store that I know sells them here, they had none. They hadn't gotten any yet, they had no idea if they were going to get them, and if they did, when they'd be available. I'm really sick of getting answers like that, I wish someone would just take the time to actually find me the answers aka did their job...-__-

At least I finally got to start season 3 of Supernatural, so yay. ^^

I liked yesterday's makeup so much I tried to recreate it with a different eyeliner. It was cool, cause I always use black liquid eyeliner, and the metallic one yesterday proved that I don't need to. I'm just not very good at using kajal pens, so it'll take some time getting the hang of it...unfortunately the lilac I used today was too similar to the eyeshadow, and doesn't really stand out. It's still a nice combination though. ^^

Random lilac two-tone eyeshadow in a really cute metal box
Wet n Wild Metallic Lilac eyeliner pen 9
Black mascara