Imagine

12-hour nights seem to be a standard now. O_o Shame I can't get to bed until around 1am...

Haven't eaten anything but crap today, so I need some real food tomorrow. Too much chocolate and chips and shit, no wonder I'm such a fatty. =(

Today's been weird, but kinda fun. Miss Bunnyhopp and I've been acting like freaking 15-year-olds, running around the house giggling and teasing each other about boys. xP She's been talking to this one dude and stressing about what to say to him, so she kept bugging me for help. Like I'm one to help, with my relationships going haywire as it is...-__- Anywho, I've been sharing my intel with her, and hey, it got her the dude's number, so it can't be all bad...;P

I got me to drag my own and Miss Bunnyhopp's butt to an anime club meeting this evening, since we're flat-ass broke and I'm not really supposed to drink right now. Girl's gotta find some entertainment tho...xP We didn't actually watch any of the anime, nor really act social with people, we just talked and giggled with Mr. Pirate, a friend of ours for two hours. [Sorry dudes, if I don't know what you like to be referred to here, I'll just make it up. xP] That was a lot of fun, and it feels great to laugh again.

We got back home in time to watch Bones, and after that I've just been a computer mushroom. Shame I didn't take any pictures of myself today, I wore very simple makeup, and this really cute short black skirt Miss Bunnyhopp lent me. Well, actually, the skirt will be mine for a few euros, but meh.

Those of you who know me might have already spotted that I like to use song titles or lyrics as the topics of my posts or to describe how I feel. I love music, and I don't really care what genre it falls into as long as it awakens emotions in me aka I like it. I've never been good with with words, especially spoken, since I don't want people to see my true emotions. I'm scared of what they will find if they look deep into my eyes. I fear that they will see this lonely little girl sitting in the dark, fading into shadows...and they'll take one good look at her and walk away.

I'm lonely. All I really want is to be loved. But it's not easy for a broken girl.

I'm not fine, I'm far from it. But one day I will be better, and I'll be able to truely love and accept love again. Until that day...I'll continue to dream. It's all I can do, for now. Dream...

Horror Show

Another 12hour night. Feels kinda nice for a change.

I talked to mom today about my school project, and we decided that I'll make her a pair of pants. I know the style now, and I took her measurements, so it should be fine. I'll draw a couple of sketches for her to choose from, and then make the required detailed paperwork by Wednesday, when I have to hand in everything for the first evaluation.

Miss Bunnyhopp and I wandered around town a bit, and then she decided to go see a movie. I refused to go with her, since I'm not a big fan of scary movies and she wanted to go see 'Paranormal Activity'. A friend of ours agreed to go with her instead. I would've much rather gone see '2012', but felt too pathetic to go alone. I feel even more pathetic now that I'm home alone writing this, but meh...


I want to get wasted. I'm tired though, and my contacs have been feeling really dry in my eyes all day. Totally sucks, cause these are supposed to be the improved, breathable lenses. Blah.

Makeup today again Gosh Effect Powders Bright'n'Black and Angelic, eyebrows drawn with BnB as well.

Kaamos

I slept about 12 hours again, and have been feeling sleepy all day. Not as bad as yesterday though, I seriously felt like "Wake me up when I'm done saying 'duuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..' ...".

I made it to school, where I kept giggling at things with Miss Bunnyhopp, and tried to work on my gansta top, until I realised my patterns don't match and got annoyed. We left school after seven, which is really early, but couldn't be helped.

I fell asleep on the sofa while watching C.S.I., and when I went back to my room to watch it from my computer (my darling comp is so smart, it knew to save the show for me *heart*), I fell asleep again. I did remember to take my sleeping pill before finally falling asleep for good, so yay...

No contacts or makeup today, I haven't gotten anything done, just slept late, watched TV, ate a lot of stuff... I had the munchies and I've been crawing for something all day, but I still haven't figured out what I really wanted. I tried pizza, chips, soda, liquorice, chocolate, pudding... Everything fatty, and still haven't figured out what I really wanted. Annoying.

Fell asleep a couple of times today, but only for short periods of time. I can't help it, it's like I'm storaging up on sleep after being sleep-deprived for some time. It would be fine if I didn't have this project I need to do... After all, I love sleeping...^^;

I've felt a little bit better today. In general I've just been feeling lonely, missing my friends, and longing for a hug.... I miss having someone I can just crawl next to and cuddle. =(

Guard my sleep

I'm feeling really groggy right now. I took the pill to help me sleep around midnight, but stayed up almost until 1am. After that I've just been sleeping and sleeping... Woke up a few times though, the freaking tiny pill upset my stomach...grr!

I'm glad it works, not so happy about feeling like I could just sleep the rest of the day as well, until it was time to take another pill. I need to go to school this evening, I haven't gotten anything done, and it's already 2pm...

Not really sure what I'll do at school today. I can't really move forward with my project, cause mom doesn't have time until Friday. Maybe I'll try to work on my Lip Service -inspired gansta top, I don't know if my pattern even fits me....

Should probably hit the store and go find something to eat. If only I didn't feel like crawling back to bed again...so sleepy... And cold. It's like the heater in my room doesn't work properly. Grr!

You didn't want me

I'm officially depressed now. The doctor was very nice, I was expecting to see a male doctor, but to my relieved surprise she was a woman. I told her the basics, said that from what I remember, the medication I had a year ago didn't really work for me, so she prescribed me something else. And something to help me sleep, so yay...

Unfortunately the new pills were quite expensive, so they better be good... Grr! I start them tomorrow morning, and the sleeping pills tonight. I just wish I don't turn into a zombie cause of the meds...

The doctor told me that the medication would take about two weeks to kick in, and if I had more suicidal thoughts, I should just go to the ER and they would admit me in the hospital psychiatric ward for a few days, to help me get through the worst days. I wish I had done that Friday evening, last weekend was hell...

My phone rang when I got home, and now I have an appointment to see a mental health nurse (depressiohoitaja) on Monday. I was told I need to make an appointment myself, but I guess the doctor contacted the nurse and she then contacted me to make sure I would actually set a date for my first visit.

I was going to get the swine flu vaccination today as well, but it meant a 2-3 hours wait, and I really didn't feel like standing outside in the cold, especially since it's been trying to rain....yeah, the lines really were that long.

I'm tired. Did manage to scrape in about 6 hours of sleep last night, so yay...

I keep feeling anxious. I know I have a ton of things to do, if I just started them, but I don't feel like it. Don't feel like doing anything. My room is an absolute mess, and I need to wash my sheets and do other laundry as well. I also need to try out basic patterns for a skirt and pants, and focus on my school project, but fuck that. I keep sitting by the computer, listening to music and searching for new artists. I wish I could dance... It might make me feel better both physically and mentally, but a) there's no room here, b) my downstairs neighbour would have a fit (I live in an old house, I don't need to be an elephant to make a lot of noise) and c) I can't even dance... I'm so in love with EBM, especially everything melancholic, and it just makes me want to dance my heart out...

I did manage to do the dishes today, so yay for me. Now if only I'd try to clear the floor and shake my ass while doing it...;) Unfortunately just looking around me brings my already blue mood crashing down. =(

Another sleepless night

I went shopping with Miss Bunnyhopp before school, but didn't really find anything besides a stretchy headband and a purple Wet'n'Wild Mega Liner. I did have a really greasy icky donut at Arnold's though, cause MBH wanted a muffin and refused to get one without me.

We had an info day at school, about our skills demonstration projects, and I decided that even though I haven't really learned most of the basics, I'm going to try and scrape up a project this winter. I have to do two projects to be able to "graduate" (I still can't take this school seriously...-__-), so if I get through one now and the other in the spring, I'm on schedule.

I freaking look like I'm 14 years old...-__-

The project consists of finding a client, designing an outfit for them, and then making one of the clothes you designed. For example, you design a pant suit, including a top, jacket, and pants or a skirt, and then you make one of them. Except we're not allowed to make a basic skirt, it's supposedly too simple. O__o

There's a ton of paperwork and scheduling that goes into this, and I now have a week to do the first part, which means that by Wednesday next week I need to have coloured sketches of outfits, an outlined plan of the whole process, the drawings for the item of clothing I'll be making, a customer profile etc. etc...

At least it'll keep me busy for a while.

On another note, my lip ring started hurting again, after being ok for nearly two weeks. =( My tongue is feeling partially numb and sore as well, and I think my navel piercing is infected...=( I don't know what caused them all to react so negatively, but I really hope it goes away soon... They're really being a pain in the ass to heal! >=(

I managed to keep most of my makeup where it was supposed to be most of the day. I decided to play around with the effect powders, so today was a Gosh day.

Gosh effect powders Angelic, Bright'n'Black, and Spa
Eyebrows with Gosh blue eyeshadow
Black mascara

Had a horrible night last night (this one's not looking much better either). I was discussing things with people, and I just couldn't get to sleep. The last time I remember checking my cell phone was at 7.40am...and I woke up at noon. I just can't sleep anymore...

I kept talking things through with my ex, and it got kinda bad, I'm sad to say...=( So bad in fact, that I was anxious to run outside in my sleepwear to the nearby bridge, and jump into the icy river...it being the middle of the night there would've been nobody to stop me either.

But I want to be stopped. I'm just trying to scream out how badly I need help... Am I reaching anyone?

P.S. Happy belated birthday Mikichan. This post took forever to write.

Happy Father's Day

I spent most of the day at my parents', it being Father's Day and all. I also went through a lot of the music my sister had on her computer, and have now about 4G more music myself...(props to Halloween_Jack, I'm pretty sure that's where some of it came from...) I also deleted most of the doubles, so there's a little more free space on my dad's external hard drive now. He doesn't speak English, and it would take forever for him to go through all that, so I was happy to help.

Other than that I haven't really been happy today. It was good to see my cats again, and I talked to my brother for a bit. Mostly about what to do with our (well, mine, actually) old Donald Duck -comics. There's about 10 year's worth of them, thanks to my godfather. *insert heart here*

Mom found me my old long black wool coat. I've missed it, and I wish I'd found it in time for Tampere... Just need to fix it a bit, since the lining is mostly broken, and I've had to remove it from the other sleeve completely. I'll also see if it still fits nicely, and maybe try to take patterns from it. I need a new coat...

I've been feeling really anxious today. I know I'm not to expect hearing from anyone today, cause people are busy, but I've been staring at my phone all day... I just wish someone would call me, text me, anything... I'm lonely. I can't let my guard down in front of my parents, I really don't want them to worry about me...

I made a couple new dreads yesterday, well, I didn't wash them yet. I borrowed some of my sister's old woollen dreads to use as study material for my own dreads. So far I've done pretty good, though I use different wool.

Makeup today consisted of mascara and violet eyebrows. After yesterday's fiasco zebra face with Wet'n'Wild Mega Liner...yeah, I didn't feel like risking it.

Most of the snow is gone now, it's been raining again. =( Here's how it looked at night.

Things are not what they seem

I'm the type of girl who'll go out in the middle of the night just to enjoy the first fresh snow of the winter. I'm also the type of girl who'll give a snowball to someone as a present. Especially when I realise I've lost my keyes...

Yeah, I did that last night. I was supposed to just go play in the snow, but I decided to take a walk too. By the time I was planning to turn back home I started to look for my keyes, couldn't find them, and kinda panicked. Miss Bunnyhopp was happily sleeping, and I didn't want to wake her up, cause her back still hurted. What did I do?

All in all, I walked 6km in the snow to see my ex. The walk took me about an hour and a half, but I was already kinda halfway there. No, I did not plan it, I had just started walking, and had already picked the route back home. But not being able to find my keyes made me panic, and I knew he was still up. So I made a cute little snowball and just kept walking.

The snowball wasn't very cute by the time I got there (neither was I). He took me in for the night, and we talked. Well, once again, he talked, and I cried my eyes out. I slept on his sofa, well, I tried at least. I stayed up most of the night, and finally fell asleep in the morning. He took me back home around noon, and no worries, my keyes are safe. I spent the rest of the day with Miss Bunnyhopp watching Supernatural and eating. I'm stuffed, and it makes me sick...=(

Why does all this still hurt me so much? Why is it so hard for me to let go? Because I still had feelings for him, feelings I denied from everyone, especially him, even myself. Our relationship was rocky, and it got too hard for me too handle. Nevertheless, I was still 100% convinced we'd end up back together. When I finally realised it was too late...it broke my heart.

I feel like a fool. What we had was unique. A cliché, but it's true for me. I went through so many "firsts" with him (one of them being living with a guy, others I'll leave to your imagination, however dirty it may be....) and he was the only guy I could really be myself with. I trusted him more than anyone in my life. He helped my through the hardest time of my life when my sister died. He held me in his arms through those countless nights I cried after her. And for that I will always love him.

"If you love them, set them free..."
Why is it so hard to do the right thing? Why do the good guys have to suffer? Of course I want him to be happy, even when it's not with me. I can't say I harbour any hard feelings against the girl either. Somehow I see myself in her. She's in the same position I was two and a half years back, getting to know this really great guy who's been hurt by someone he loved so much...

I just wish it wasn't my heart that got smashed into millions of pieces in the process... I may try to put on a brave face in public, even with Miss Bunnyhopp, but when I'm alone... I cry myself to sleep. I just wish the pain would go away... I wish I could fall asleep and not wake up until it didn't hurt anymore... Why do I have to pay the price?

P.S. Let it be known I don't even like winter. I just love snow; the world doesn't seem like such a bad place when everything's covered in pure, white, soft, perfect snow...

Kitiara's pet dragon

I messed up my eyebrows today, so I made wings out of them. Sorta. Yes, I wore makeup today! Improvement, I guess...I didn't even get that many weird looks, even though I went out in public with this look. I'm surprised. O__o

I've also eaten quite normally. It's kinda hard not to, when Miss Bunnyhopp made an omelet and bacon for breakfast... She wouldn't buy chocolate either, unless I got a box, and she really wanted her chocs...f^^; So I've had chocolate and liquorice today too. Kinda annoyed that I did, but I guess food is just stronger than me. =(

Today was okay, I'm just bummed cause I didn't do anything active. =( I was thinking about going to the gym again, but MBH has hurt her back somehow, and can't really come with me right now. =( My thighs are hurting, which is kinda funny but really annoying. O__o *sigh*


I'm still not doing very good, feeling anxious and just generally bad&sad. I did manage to book a doctor's appointment, but it's not until next week. It's on the same day they're giving piggyfly shots to those who are in the risk groups, so I'm going to get a shot since I have asthma. My mom requested it, and hey, if I die, you'll know not to get it, right?

I finally get to start season 4 of Supernatural, so I'll either head to bed soon, or start watching that. Maybe both.


Oh and whoever knows who Kitiara is, gets a bonus point! Takhisis might fit better here, but for some reason Kitiara sounded better in my head. No, I don't like her. I just felt evil. (and wore all black)

I like my hair a little better now, after my bangs got a bit more shape.
They're still gray though...

Gosh Effect Powders Angelic & Bright'n'Black
Wet'n'Wild Eyeliner pen
Black mascara

NP: mind.in.a.box - Change

I've liked this song for a while but only today looked into the lyrics more. Now I absolutely love it... See for yourself.

and I will never see the truth,
this is not a matter of my youth.
I do not need anybody else,
bonds would put my mind into cells.

and I will never know I was wrong,
never listen to those truly strong.
I do not fear anything that's not me,
ignorance is the ultimate key.

but I wouldn't want to live like this forever.
but change myself? never, never!
the very thought sends shivers down my spine.
I'm sure everything, everything will be fine.

I am the one who cries out at night,
for somebody to change my very core.
not sure why I live in endless fright,
doomed to love only myself forevermore.

I am the one who has no real friends,
shallow people flocking to my banner.
always trying to make easy amends,
cherishing my own overbearing manner.

life - always fragile.
I will never change.
love - always fleeting.
I will never change.

life - always fragile.
I will never change.
love - always fleeting.
I will never change.

but I wouldn't want to live like this forever.
maybe I really was too clever.
but I wouldn't want to end like that.
I would die lonely and incredibly sad.

I will never drag myself out of this,
the shadows of my past bogging me down.
feeling lost in turmoil and crisis,
my face forever set in an endless frown.

I have been hurt beyond mental repair,
thence destined to suffer eternal damnation.
no one can be there for me to care,
but without I will never find salvation.

lust - always empty.
but I will never change.
death - always tempting.
but I will never change.

lust - always empty.
but I will never change.
death - always tempting.
but I will never change.

everything is about control.
I must never slip, nor ever fall.
anything is possible for me.
I must never doubt, and finally be free.

and finally be free.

Food? No thanks.

I'm on my way to an eating disorder and the funny thing is I'm willing to embrace it...

I lost a couple kilos the past two days. No appettite. I loved how my tummy looked like this morning, all flat. Then I had some tea, and bloated up like a balloon. =( I had a kaki aka sharon fruit for breakfast. Miss BunnyHopp made pita kebab, and pushed me to eat two.

I'm fighting the urge to go barf them up. One was good, but two felt like pushing it. I feel fat, and am giving myself a hard time for eating the second one. I want to go out for a walk and even try running a bit.

Still no makeup today, I was going to open up a fresh pair of contact lenses, but I sorta forgot and don't really want to do it anymore for just a couple hours use.

I have smiled and laughed today, so a slight improvement there. I am, however, feeling really anxious all the time, and literally pushing the depression away. It just pushes back, and it's stronger than me... The later it gets, the harder it is for me. I fear the night.

Still, no tears today, at least so far. Tomorrow I might actually think about putting on some makeup, and maybe take a picture or two. I was supposed to clean up my room and do the dishes today, and I started to do that, but didn't get too far.

Oh, before I forget: Something cool happened today, of which Miss BunnyHopp and I get to be very proud of. The owner of this building had finally listened to us, and today they installed fire alarms and extinguishers in the hallway. We live in this really old spooky wooden house, and our downstairs neighbour smokes in his appartment...so it was about time. Smoking isn't allowed here in the first place, and we've been complaining about it ever since we moved here a year ago. Now there's a fire alarm right above his door, so hopefully he'll finally stop.

I have to go out now, I'm sick of sitting in one place. That's good, I guess, that I keep wanting to move. I just need a push to actually get a doctor's appointment...I'm scared.

I'm still standing

Today I thought that since I have this great urge to hurt myself, I might as well try to use it to my advantage...so when the walls started collapsing on me again, I took bathing gear with me and headed out. I walked the long road to the sports hall, and hit the gym. I didn't tell Miss Bunnyhopp, because I feel like I can't take anyone's company right now...she's mad at me now, and I'm sorry about that, but I had to be alone.

I wasn't at the gym for more than 40 minutes, but since I haven't gone in so long I figured it'd be enough to make my muscles ache tomorrow. There's was this bearded guy who kept looking at me, and I really hope it was in a curious way as to why I looked like shit with my dirty hair, puffy eyes and no eyebrows and not because he found me cute like that. -__-

After the gym I went soaking in the steam sauna, and then hit the pool. I didn't swim for very long either, the warm pool with the massaging waterfalls was reserved so I couldn't get there, which bummed me out. I could really use a massage right about now... I still felt like shit, so I went back to the sauna, realised I was alone and shed a few tears.

On my way home I stopped by the game store hoping to see a friendly face. I did, though not the one I expected. I chatted for a bit, and then went home. I stayed on my computer for a bit, and then went to bed. I ignored school completely, didn't even send my teacher a message. After maybe two hours I woke up and realised I hadn't eated anything. I still don't have any appetite, but I managed to eat two pieces of crisp bread (näkkileipä) with some water.

I had been texting with my ex and I asked him to meet me at the pier in order to say goodbye. Long story short - my eyes are even puffier now (I didn't know it was still possible) and I'm cold, but we agreed to do our best to remain friends. And I need that. I can't do this alone. I need my antidepressants back. I need help.

And I really, really hope this friend thing works out this time...he's still the person who knows me best, and one of my closest friends. I know it'll hurt like hell and nothing will be the same again. Which is why I need you guys to help me through the hard times...isn't that what friends are for?

P.S. I'm sorry for turning into such an angsty blogger, but seriously dudes...you don't even know half of it...

Broken...

I don't know what to do...I feel so lost...
He really broke my heart this time...
I want to hate him, I really do. Hate would make things so much easier...
but I'm too broken to hate...

Farewell

I was too anxious to sit around and even my bed didn't bring me any comfort...so I decided to head out, before the walls would collapse over me. I didn't really know where to go or what to do, so I just started walking.

It didn't take long to realise where I was heading. To the surroundings of where we used to live. I felt like I had to go there, to see the places I was once happy in. Such a long time ago...

It was windy and very cold, and I might have caught a really bad cold, but I don't care. I got to this nice little pier by the river, and just sat there, lost in thought...until I realised my tears had dried and all I felt was emptiness.

I got up, carefully checked how icy the river had gotten, gave up that thought and moved on to the tiny bridge. I missed that bridge and what it represented. It's where we used to meet up, before we were even dating, way back when we used to be friends.

I crossed the bridge, took a look around, walked back. I'd gotten really cold, so I decided it was time to head back home. I took the shorter route, headed through the city.

I feel like there's no-one I can talk to... The only person who really knows what I'm going through is the person who made me go through it... And I can't rely on him anymore. Not now. I've said my goodbyes. It's time to let go.

It's funny if you think about it. 10 years have passed, and I find myself in the same situation again...sitting in my room, in the dark, listening to Sentenced and feeling so completely alone...

I just wish I had the strenght to keep going...

I was just beginning to trust you...but you let me down again...

No pictures today. Hell, I barely got out of bed and that's where I'm heading again once I finish this post.

Today my ex-bf told me he found someone over the weekend. Despite everything that's happened between us, it was still a hit below the belt. I've spent the day balling my eyes out and trying to think of reasons not to head for my stash of various painkillers. Or to go find the sharpest kitchen knife.

I knew something was coming. My alarm rang at 9am, but I didn't want to get up. I kept hitting the snooze alarm for 2hours(!) before finally admitting I need to get up at some point. And then I get these news, and I fall right back in.

Trust no-one. That's what life has taught me.

Monday, bleh

Right, back to date now.

I went shopping for stuff today, needed fresh cases for my new contact lenses. I still have enough solution for about a month, but the packets come with just one case. Found those, and also got this Cailap razor to try on my eyebrows. I hope I won't hurt myself too much with it, it is still a razor, and thus quite sharp...

On my way to school I stopped by Emotion to see if they finally got the new Gosh line, and they did! They didn't have the false lashes or the eyeshadow palette yet, and no idea whether they will get them or not. But! I did get the effect powder ^^ It's funny, I looked for it all over Tampere, and had to get it here. O__o 18 Bright and Black, all mine now. ^^

About the Neutrogena facial products I got earlier...I'm not too happy about them. I started out using the Blackhead removing wash twice a day every other day, and the gel wash in the days between, but quickly moved to using just the Blackhead one. My face isn't any cleaner, the blackheads are all still there and I keep getting spots just like I did before. =( It does leave my face nice and matte, just a tad too dry though, so I'm glad I have the moisturiser as well. That one is a keeper, it makes my face soft, moistured and not shiny at all! ^^

I got 3 natural facial bars in my Elegant Minerals order, and I tried one of them this morning. It's scented Vanilla & Oatmeal, and even though the smell is quite strong, it's still very pleasant. And the results were squeaky clean, quite literally! The other two are Wild Berries and Chamomile and Apricot, but I'll leave those be for now. I think I'll either choose to use the EM facial bar, or keep using Neutrogena, or maybe just mix both. It's hard to find a product suitable for my skin. =(

Oh, I did try the razor, and I don't think I'll end up using it too often. It does a clean job, but it also takes a lot of skin with it, so it leaves my brows sore and screaming for moisturiser. Quite unpleasant. =(

I didn't do anything special at school today, I focused on pockets and made practise pockets for future reference. I think I'll spend Wednesday working on different zippers and collars. Then next week I'll continue with my clothes again. ^^

Saturday

We spent Saturday afternoon watching movies and playing around with makeup, trying to choose what kind of look we'd do for the evening. You can see I got kinda bored...
Our movies were themed with superheroes, and I got really anxious, cause I finally watched Spiderman 3. Spiderman used to be my favourite superhero, based on the comics I'd read, but after the movies...he repulses me. And it's sad to have that effect from your childhood hero. =( Iron Man was a really cool movie, but then again, it was my first contact with the hero, so I can't really compare it to anything. With the new Batman movies I'm leaning more towards Mr. Wayne now, even though the growling voice thing is ridiculous... Also, our host was playing a PS3 Batman game on Thursday evening, and it was really cool, dark and violent, so that effected the whole Batman image I have as well.

I went for sea-like makeup with my outfit, and used blue and green.
The colours came from Miss Bunnyhopp's palette, I think it's by BeautyUK?
I'm not sure though, but the colours are really vivid and cool. ^^
The eyebrows here aren't finished yet, just outlined.

Still...it feels weird. My alltime favourite comic hero is Lucky Luke though, and I tend to avoid the cartoons, since I love the comics so much. ^^ It's the same thing with Dragonlance Chronicles, I absolutely refuse to watch the cartoon they made based on the books, since I really don't want to destroy the images I have for everything.

After a few drinks my aim was kinda off...xP

Right, back to Halloween topic, and my outfit. Here it is! ^^ Miss Bunnyhopp lent me her brown pirate boots, but I couldn't find a hat. =( It's still cute, right? ^^


---Pictures added to Sunday's post.---

Friday

I got my Elegant Minerals -order on Thursday, and took all the eyeshadow samples with me to Tampere. I decided to try some of them on Friday, and ended up using two greens. I felt like a lizard, hehe. ^^


The samples weren't exactly the same colour I had expected them to be, but I guess that's because of the differences in monitors. My pictures look completely different on a laptop screen and a table PC screen. I wasn't too fond of some of the colours, but the greens were nice, as well as one of two of the pinks and a black glittery one. Oh and the silvers...*heart*

Elegant minerals eyeshadows Mermaid (lighter) and Rainforest (darker)
Wet n Wild Mega Liner black
WnW black kohl pen
Black mascara

Oh and it snowed!

I'm back =/

I had a great weekend and a good Halloween. It was nice to go someplace else for a change, and it's kinda sad I had to come back. =(

I got bored in the train, even though the trip only lasted about
an hour and twenty minutes.
Luckily I had my trusty DS, I think here I was playing
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End...xP

I love Tampere so much, the buildings are incredibly beautiful, the roads are all lumpy and fun and annoying, and they had the weirdest street lights - horses, Bugs Bunny, and some weirdo patterns I couldn't even figure out. I wanted to take pictures of everything, but Miss Bunnyhopp doesn't like playing tourist, so I barely have any pictures from my surroundings. =(


I'm a sucker for men with long hair, so I enjoyed wandering around the city aimlessly cause everywhere I looked, there was bound to be at least one more or less cute guy with cool hair...^^

Ehm, I hate birds, and I have this sadistic phantasy of running in the middle
of a flock af pidgeons and just kick one...xD
And this is the one I wanted to kick.
Rest assured, I didn't do it. Yet.

There are some really nice stores in Tampere, but unfortunately I didn't really have any extra money to spend. I did get a Hell Bunny corset top, hair dye, a rose scented candle to burn on the 31st, a chess shot glass, some cheap pirate-themed jewelry...just little things. ^^ Well, except for the top, but that one was discounted too, so it's all good. ^^ My money was mainly spent on the train and bus tickets. =(

Oh, I almost forgot! Eurokangas is fantastic in Tampere, though I actually went to the one in Ideapark. I found this really coold gray floral patterned cotton fabric, and I already have big plans for it. I also got the cheaper black satin to make another pair of bloomers, only I have to remember to adjust the pattern this time.

The Samhain party was cool, everyone was gorgeous and people had really great costumes. It could've been arranged a little better, since there was a ridiculous line to the bar throughout the whole night, and they even ran out of tequila around midnight! O__o Also, I heard today that the doormen had started to charge double for the cloakroom after like two hours since opening. o__O

I had fun though, good music, nice people, (expensive) booze...^^ I did get bummed and lose all interest in partying at one point though. =( I ended up approaching this really hot guy who looked like he just walked out of my dreams...and got rejected. And it really hurt. I guess it's because I haven't been single in such a long time and am kinda rusty with this whole flirting & approaching thing... I just got really depressed.

I mean, naturally I've been burned and had my heart broken. Still, when I think about it, I've been lucky with matters of the heart. I haven't had to look for love for very long, it's always found me. It's the 'staying in love' -part that I have issues with...but that's a whole new story.

But yeah. On the 31st I lit my Samhain candle to protect me from evil spirits. Tonight the candles burn in memory of my sister.

---I'll add pictures of my outfit, my makeup and some random pics from the trip tomorrow. I don't have all of the pictures now, and I really want to install another editing programme on my computer, since the auto-levels in paint.net are all screwed up and it's the only way I know how to fix my pics... -__- ----

Always running late...f^^;

Argh! Last minute panicking. I've got my outfit ready, and packed a ridiculous amount of stuff to take with me, considering we'll only be there until Sunday...T__T

Anyways, I just wanted to wish everyone a good weekend, a safe Samhain, and a Happy Halloween!! ^^