Tuesday, November 03, 2009


I was too anxious to sit around and even my bed didn't bring me any comfort...so I decided to head out, before the walls would collapse over me. I didn't really know where to go or what to do, so I just started walking.

It didn't take long to realise where I was heading. To the surroundings of where we used to live. I felt like I had to go there, to see the places I was once happy in. Such a long time ago...

It was windy and very cold, and I might have caught a really bad cold, but I don't care. I got to this nice little pier by the river, and just sat there, lost in thought...until I realised my tears had dried and all I felt was emptiness.

I got up, carefully checked how icy the river had gotten, gave up that thought and moved on to the tiny bridge. I missed that bridge and what it represented. It's where we used to meet up, before we were even dating, way back when we used to be friends.

I crossed the bridge, took a look around, walked back. I'd gotten really cold, so I decided it was time to head back home. I took the shorter route, headed through the city.

I feel like there's no-one I can talk to... The only person who really knows what I'm going through is the person who made me go through it... And I can't rely on him anymore. Not now. I've said my goodbyes. It's time to let go.

It's funny if you think about it. 10 years have passed, and I find myself in the same situation again...sitting in my room, in the dark, listening to Sentenced and feeling so completely alone...

I just wish I had the strenght to keep going...

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