Wednesday, December 30, 2009

And all that jazz

So Christmas came and went. Miss Bunnyhopp and I had a Moustache Xmas Party on the 19th, and everyone was required to have a moustache of some sort. It was loads of fun, and we ended the evening by going to Bar15, naturally sporting our amazing facial hair. We ended up taking a lot of pictures, but since I don't think people appreciate looking foolish in public too much, I'll just show you a picture of myself and Miss Bunnyhopp. ;P My friends are entitled to see the other pics on Facebook, so if you think you're one and can't see them, leave me a note.

I spent Christmas Eve with my family, having dinner, watching movies and relaxing. I had fun with my cats, and it was nice to just chill out with them. There was a slightly sad undertone, since this is the second Christmas we've had to spend without Sini...

I didn't do anything on Christmas Day, both Miss Bunnyhopp and I were just being lazy and bumming around the house. Miss Bunnyhopp spent Boxing Day with her family, and I spent it watching movies and TV. We did go to a birthday party that evening, and had loads of fun. I'm hoping to get pictures from that evening at some point. They had a purple-gray-turquoise cake! O_O

Prezzies! I got Sweeney Todd, Chicago, and Burn Notice Season 1. Ankle weights too! xP

My mom made me these lovely socks, and they're just perfect! ^^

I also got a bunch of sweets, and have eaten all of them by now. T_T No wonder I've gained like 4kg...T__T

I also got the cutest mirror ever! <3 style="font-weight: bold;">

Bought some movies on my own as well, 3 for 10€.

After Christmas I haven't really been doing anything, just being lazy and eating. T_T I did finally get that donut date with my ex, after he blew me off twice. *grr* It was ok, we talked for a bit, and I ate a tasty double-chocolate muffin. I love muffins. Part of the reason why I might start calling myself Lady Cupcake. *heart* After that I shopped for a bit, results of which can be found in my ealier postings.

Here's some of my recent makeups.

And here's evidence of snow. This is the house we live in, it's really old.

Yeah. Nothing much to report here. I just feel really stupid for wasting my time doing nothing. The problem is I don't really know what I want to do with my life... I want to travel, but I don't have the money, and I can't get the money if I don't work. I can't find a job, so I've got nothing to do...=( It sucks ass. I get bored and I start to overthink things. Yesterday was particularly horrible, since Miss Bunnyhopp left to meet her potential new boyfriend for the second time, and I kept feeling lonely the whole day. To make matters worse, I kept missing my sister...those days are always tough, and I didn't even have anyone to talk to.

What do I really want out of my life? I want to experience new things, see the world, go on adventures, have a good time with friends, love and be loved, leave something of me behind when my time is over...

But I've become so cynical lately that I'm not sure I even believe in love least not for me. It would be great if there really was someone I could spend the rest of my life with, but how could that ever happen? I get tired of everything! I can't even settle for a haircut for very long, how the hell am I supposed to settle down with some guy? I wish I could have that 'falling in love' -feeling forever....I'd just need to get there first.

I'm lonely.

P.S. At least my financial situation eased up a bit, I'm not getting 200€ more per month to help me pay the rent. Yay! o/

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

In my room

I thought I'd make an entry about my recent purchases as well. I went shopping today, and bought some new winter lights to brighten up the atmosphere in my room. I now have white LED-lights hanging around the pink feather wings I have up on my wall, and blue LED-lights with some old blue star-shaped winter lights. They're in a glass bowl next to my TV, they make a pretty decorative item, since I can't really burn candles in my room.

I need to adjust them a bit more, at the moment they look like I just threw them on. Which is exactly what I did. :P

Last week I bought several basic shirts from H&M.

Plus this really sexy nightgown with see-through lace right below the boobs. ;P

I also found this really nice black velvet skirt from a used-clothes store, practically new, and only cost me 3,80euros. I think I'm going to do something about the buttons though, they're plastic and a really odd colour.

I bought some new underwear today, I used up half of my gift certificate at H&M. I wondered around a couple clothes stores, but didn't really find anything nice.

Naughty or nice? ;)

My order from Crazy Factory arrived as well, here's what I got: 4mm fish hook, 3mm tunnel, black and cobalt tongue studs, cobalt and regular barbell pins for my tongue, and a 3mm marble expander. I've got a 3mm one in my right ear atm, and once that's all done, I'll switch it to my left ear. I'm thinking about going up to 6mm, cause all the cool jewelry starts from that size up.

Mile in these shoes

I thought I'd start updating with something fun, and what's more fun for a girl than shoes and shopping? ^^ So here you go, a list of my favourite shoes.

Demonia Dank-122 (3 1/4"/8,5cm heel, switched dark purple satin laces) and Emily-222 (2"/5cm heel)

The Danks are really cute, despite the fact that I've dubbed them clown shoes because of how they look when I'm looking down at my feet. Lacing them up is quite annoying though, and you easily lace them up too tight. To make things harder, I've got satin laces mixed with round laces, and they're not exactly the same length either....The Emilys are cute, but I've had to have them fixed, because one of the straps came loose. The straps also have a bit of elastic in them, and it had aged, so I had those changed as well. I think fixing them cost me like 15euros, so I'm glad both these shoes came with a discount.

Demonia Swing-815 (5"/12,5cm heel) and Neptune-100 (3"/7,5cm heel, unisex)

I love the platform boots, the Neptunes are really nice to walk in nbut they're quite heavy because of the platform. I've loved Swings for AGES and finally bought the silver ones I've been dying to get for over two years. I'm glad I did, cause apparently they don't make them anymore. They were expensive, but worth every penny! I had to put in some soft insoles to ease wearing them, since my feet HATE high heels. =( They're kinda large around the ankle, but the insoles fixed that as well. My calves are apparently thicker than the average Swing -wearers, cause I had to open the two highest buckles quite a bit in order to wear them. =(

Mudd brown boots and black Mudd shoes with silver studs

I bought both of the Mudd shoes from the States in December 2006, at the time I was completely in love with the collection of Mudds. They were all so big and bulky, and for some reason that made them really appeal to me. ^^ I had to get the black ones cause they're cute and were on sale, and I couldn't leave the store without those brown boots. Yes, they're brown, and don't really go with anything I have in my wardrobe, but I love them none the less. I don't wear them too often though. =(

Black wedge heeled strappy shoes from Halonen clothes store, fabulous black shoes with zipper details and lacing from Ellos internet shop

I got the wedge heeled shoes the past summer, I had a discount coupon, and I was running out of time to use it. I kept looking and looking for something to spend money on, and ended up getting these. They felt quite nice in the store, but I've actually worn them once or twice, because they make my feet hurt. =( The ankle shoes are gorgeous, and I would wear them a lot more, if they weren't so slippery in the winter time and wouldn't make my feet hurt. Like I said, my feet really hate high heels, and I've always got blisters on the balls of my feet after and outing with any type of high heels. =( *sigh* Miss Bunnyhopp got so jealous of this pair she got herself the same shoes. O_o

The not-so-fancy shoes I have: pink winter tennis shoes from Ellos online store, my favourite black button-eyed shoes with a little platform from Nahkapaikka in Tuuri, and cheap (but surprisingly comfortable) flip flops from Prisma.

The pink winter shoes are nice, but don't really go with anything, plus the laces are really short, so I keep having to relace them every time I use them. It's a pain in the ass, so I only wear them a couple times per year. I've been wearing the black shoes ever since I got them, they're fantastic. My feet love them, and they're cute. The little silver details in the front look like eyes, so in my head the shoes are something like puppies. O_o I wear the flip flops a lot during summer time, I would love to run around without any shoes, but there's too much broken glass everywhere for it to be safe. =(

I have other shoes as well, but they're all stashed away in my closet somewhere. Shoes.^^ *heart*

Friday, December 18, 2009

10th Man Down

I'm sick. =( My throat really hurts. *sniff* I think I might have to go see a doctor tomorrow, or Monday by least.

I fucked up my school project. I had everything else done but the final project. I started it late, cause I've been sick and away, and I wasn't able to finish it in time. So I went to school on Wednesday just to eat cake. And the cake was good. And now school's off for Christmas, yay.

*sigh* Yeah I'm not proud of myself. I am handing in the assignment in January though, with the next project. Miss Bunnyhopp and I decided to have an ex tempore Xmas party on this coming Saturday. I can finally have my moustache party, yay! Everyone's required to wear a moustache of some sort. I can't remember where the idea originally came from, but a w
hile ago we drew moustaches on each other's faces, and took a couple of pictures. I then wanted to arrange a party based on this, but Miss Bunnyhopp has been against the idea. So yay!

I'm going to see Tarja Turunen (ex-Nightwish) perform tomorrow. My mom really wanted to go, so I promised to go with her. The only thing that really annoyes me about it is that it's arranged at the church...but what can you do. I like my mom, and I've finally told her about my depression and medication. She's concerned about me, and I don't want her to worry. I really am doing quite good right now. ^^

Okay. I'm going to try and get some sleep, we still need to clean up the house tomorrow. It'll take forever! xP

Monday, December 14, 2009

Bonafide Lovin'

I hate midnight angsty posts, and I hate writing them. I can't, however, fall asleep for the life of me, and I've been through all my favourite sites. I'm out of sleeping pills too, so no help there. =( I don't have milk, and I don't want to get out of bed to make tea in the first place. My throat is sore, and I keep coughing. I caught a cold while visiting Boogieman, and it doesn't help that it's -17C outside.

My trip to Jyväskylä was both good and bad. I ended up running to the station again, and had 2 minutes to buy a ticket and get on the train. I made it though, but noticed I forgot my DS at home. =( Luckily I discovered my iPood in my bag, and listened to all the way there, dozing in and out.

I was very happy to see Boogieman, he looked even better in person. ^^ We went to get something to eat, and walked at the town a bit. Then we headed for drinks and played 'Huojuva Torni'. I lost, cause I was determined to grab a block right at the bottom. xP

I'm glad to say his two pet rats did not bite me, like I had feared. I was also pleasantly surprised by how cute they were, since I don't really like things that haven't got a furry tail. But those two were adorable! *heart* We watched Zombieland, and it was just as awesome as would be expected. \,,,/

Boogieman has this massive car, and since the weather actually took a wintery turn (Seinäjoki looked like September-October when I left. -_-), the car kept sliding all over the place. It was quite...interesting. Luckily it wasn't too cold until Sunday.

We went out partying with some of Boogieman's friends on Friday night, and I had quite a nice time all the way to the point we decided to head back to his place. We kinda got separated, and I was too drunk to remember he had the cloak room ticket for both our coats, and since I couldn't get my coat, I was scared to go outside thinking they wouldn't let me back in. So I sat by the door hoping I would be found, and started to panic, since I don't know the freaking city one bit, so I couldn't find my way back on my own. I cried, I was feeling horrible, and then Boogieman came to my rescue. I felt really stupid for not remembering what the deal was with the coats. =( We had quite an interesting walk back though, we crossed a graveyard. :P

Saturday night was time for the "Worst Xmas Party This Year", so we headed to his friend's again. Our hosts had decorated the place with tin foil, and there was punch and booze galore. I had bought more stuff to drink, and helped myself to my own booze as well as the punch. Now, you gotta realize that I no longer drink cider, and I've never been able to drink beer for more than one bottle (in two hours, might I add...). So I'm a "my own special drink mixes" -kinda gal. And I kept chucking one after another, until I was drunk enough to demand tin foil to make alien antennaes on my head. xP I also had my trusty camera with me (I always do *heart*), and we ended up taking random drunken pictures. Pentachan got quite some admiration from people. ^^ (my cam is ...what, 5 years old now?, a cute little Pentax box model)

By the time people decided to head to a bar, I blanked out. Too much booze. I have no recollection whatsoever what has happened after then, but I was told I was feeling really crappy, I didn't want to go to a bar, but I didn't want to ruin people's evening either. Nor did I want to go sleep on my own (apparently I got quite demanding. *sigh*), so Boogieman ended up going back with me. I pissed him off too, cause I kept bawling all the way back, got left behind, and couldn't see things right in front of me.

Apparently at some point I had also called my ex, saying I feel miserable and I really hate ruining Boogieman's evening, but I felt too sick. I think I would've called Miss Bunnyhopp at this point, since she's my best friend, but since I pissed her off just by taking off without telling her, she ignored me the whole weekend. I tried to contact her more than once. Why did I call my ex? Cause he used to be a friend of mine, though now I'm starting to see how it might not work out in the end. I did end up having a minor nervous breakdown because of him a little while back, so I felt sadistic satisfaction when I cancelled a coffee meeting we had planned just a little earlier, and told him what I was doing instead. I honestly don't care, he's got his own life, and I've got mine, and as long as neither of us is rubbing it in each other's face, things are good.

So yeah, for Saturday I'm definitely not proud of. =( From what I gathered, I made a total ass of myself in front of Boogieman and his friends. Way to leave a first impression or what...*sigh*

Sunday was spent trying out games on PSP, and I fell for LittleBigPlanet again. I also got to play a couple of levels of Patapon 2, and I'm surprised I don't have the "Pata-pata-pata-pon" mantra stuck in my head. What I do have stuck in my head is Chromeo's Bonafide Lovin' though...:P

I was originally planning to head back on Sunday the very least, but since we slept in, all the good trains had already left. I decided to catch a straight connection back Monday morning, cause the alternative was to spend over an hour in Tampere all alone, in the middle of the night. =(

Now I'm back at home, and I feel confused. I can't really read Boogieman yet, so I don't know how he felt about the weekend, and I'm kinda nervous to ask, for some reason. I did like him, and I'd like to see him and the rats again, hopefully sooner rather than later. ^^ I just really hate feeling confused.

Oh man, I really need to get some sleep...It's already 5.30am, and I need to be at the unemployment center by 10am.... Last week I promised the guy there that I'd go to this info thing, so I don't have any options. Fortunately it's just for an hour, but I don't think I'll get any sleep after that either, since I still have a pair of pants to make. Yup, I should've finished my school project before leaving, but I didn't. Plus mom is coming in for a fitting tomorrow evening, not to mention the finished project needs to be handed in on Wednesday. *sigh* Hello stress, I didn't miss you, so could you stay the fuck off?!

Speaking of, I nearly froze my fingers off on the way to school, so I stopped halfway to buy a pair of really warm mittens. I managed to lose one of my beloved mittens while I was drunk, and I'm truly mourning it. It was made by my aunt (mom's sister) some 20+ years ago. She also died 20+ years ago, so it can never be replaced...T__T My mom gave them for me to wear a few years back out of the goodness of her heart, so now I'm thinking I'll make a pair just like that to try and make it up to her. =/

School sucked ass, since Miss Bunnyhopp still wasn't talking to me, and I was pissed off, since apparently my cell phone hates winter, and almost broke. I was prepared to start working on the pants, but ended up finishing the bolero I started on Wednesday. I still need to make button holes, and see if I think it needs to be jazzed up a bit. After that I just came back home.

I forgot, I had to be back here this morning because I promised my mom to go shopping with her (it was her day off). We ended up checking out a few stores, and I picked out a Hello Kitty t-shirt pajama and a really cool black makeup mirror for Xmas presents. I guess I've been a good little girl (thank goth there are things parent's don't need to know, eh!? lol) and will be getting several tiny presents this year. I bought some more stuff for Miss Bunnyhopp's present too, and noticed I got some of the things I ordered in the mail. I'm not too happy with them though, I should've checked the description better. The things are WAY bigger that what I wanted to get. (Presents, may be revealed after people receive them). T_T

I blocked Miss Bitchy on Facebook. *heart* I've got no idea whether she occasionally tries to check out my profile, but I fixed all my restrictions too, and randomly tried to block someone. Who better to try it out on than her? ^^ She's never been my friend in there, and never will, just like the situation is in real life.

I'd like to add some pictures later on, but I think I'll need to check with people first. Check back for updates on that. Peace!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

It's the Oogie Boogie Man!

Note: Mr. Fascinating shall from hereon be referred to as the Boogieman.

I blew off school on Monday, I was feeling a bit ill and stuff. I ended up running to the train station at 7.30pm only to see my train had left a minute earlier. O_o Not cool. So I headed
back home, and some guy tried to sell me drugs on the way. O__O The first time ever that's happened to me, I'm starting to feel really uneasy here...

I had a gym appointment on Tuesday morning to check out this new ladies gym here. I was really tired in the morning, and couldn't find my sweat pants, so I ended up heading back t
o bed. I woke up again when my phone rang, some guy was trying to get me to change my cell phone provider again. -_-# I ended up running on errands, and attempting to knit my first woollen socks in years. Too early to say how it's going so far.

I tried to reschedule my appointment with the mental health nurse this morning, but she wouldn't answer the phone. So I blew her off too. O_o; Hey, at least I tried...T_T I bleached my bangs again today. It'll be lavender again, but I decided to leave that to another day. So for now I'm partially blonde.

I was pissed off today, I had sold a skirt, and ended up spending all the money I got for shipping the damn thing. The prices are ridiculous! >=(

School was okay, I ended up making a violet bolero, but I didn't quite finish it yet, cause Miss Bunnyhopp and I left early to pick up some Chinese meatballs on the way home. They are so~ good...*drool*

So yeah. Boring post, I know.

I have to say I'm really curious about this Mr. Boogieman. He's fun to talk to, and seems like a really cool guy. Not to mention he's incredibly hot. ;) In fact, I'm so curious I agreed to go meet him tomorrow. Hopefully this time I'll catch my train. xP

Sunday, December 06, 2009


Meh. I can't remember doing much on Friday. I went out and bought chocolates and alchohol, cause I got some tax returns. I also got earmuffs, but didn't notice until today that they left the security alarm on them. -_- Need to go back tomorrow to have them take it out.

The local anime club had arranged an allnighter, so Miss Bunnyhopp went there and hang out for a couple of hours. It was fun seeing people. We had sorta planned we'd go out and go to a bar, but ended up getting pizzas and going back home watching TV. I got really tired.

On Saturday I spent the day on my computer again. ;) Then at 8pm I was told that Tony Kakko would be at Rytmikorjaamo that evening, so I got Miss Bunnyhopp interested and we started to put on some makeup and made a couple of drinks, getting ready to head out. About 45 mins later I was told that Tony wouldn't be there, but Ari Koivunen would. A few &%¤#s later we changed our plans to a girls night out, I'm not interested in nonmetal. xP

I got really wasted by the time we headed out, and we didn't go to our favourite bar Bar15 either, since Miss Bunnyhopp didn't want to see the random band there. We headed out to Karma instead. And as soon as we got in and got our coats off, I saw her, Miss Bitchy. I ignored her, and we got drinks and headed to a table. The both of us were kinda glued to our cell phones that night. ;)

Later on in the washroom Miss Bitchy confronted me and told me not to trust my ex. She also wanted a bury-the-hatchet -hug, which she got. I was way too baffled by all of this. I was hurt though, cause she seems to know a lot of things she's not supposed to know. Miss Bunnyhopp and I got some fries on the way home, and I kept laughing my ass off cause I wanted 'kurkkusipuli' in them. Can't be bothered to try and translate that.

I woke up not hung over today, yay for me. I also re-read some of the messages from last night, including the one from my ex. Then I started this big messenger war with him blaming him of revealing my secrets to Miss Bitchy and Mr. Fatso and how stupid does he have to be to keep trusting them when time after time they prove how they are not worthy of that trust. Then a couple hours later he calls me and basically begs for forgiveness. I feel really stupid, cause in a way I'm the same with him. I keep trusting him and he keeps letting me down. And it sucks, cause I really wanted us to be friends.

Another day spent at the computer. ^^ I'm having loads of fun, thanks to Mr. Fascinating. ;)

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Something to do

Somehow I've managed to spend the whole day at my computer. O_o I woke up early to go to a blood test issued by the doctor a week ago, and have been "moping" in my room ever since I got back. There was this young dude with long hair taking my blood this time, so it wasn't that bad (even though I now have bandaids in both arms..). ;)

I spent all of Tuesday at my parents', reading Don Rosa's finest, and petting my cats while dad installed Win 7 on my laptop. It was installed over Vista, cause I didn't have enough space to empty my computer to an external harddrive, so it took forever. And it's still in Finnish. *sigh*

I haven't gone to the gym, and I didn't go to school yesterday. I've had a headache for a couple of days now, and it's really nasty. I guess it's due to the stress I'm under. =(

I bought a piece of really lovely faux leather yesterday. It's black, and the other side is leather-like, and the other one is really smooth and it looks like suede. It only cost 15e/kg! I also got a piece of pink sports fabric, that I already have a piece, but since I had planned to make a top and some sort of bottom from it, I bought more. Plus I think it was the last of that fabric, and cost me 7e.

I finally washed my hair yesterday (eww I know, gross!), and it feels much nicer. Naturally I've washed my bangs, but not the whole hair. It took hours for it to dry again, but that was to be expected. The weight wasn't too bad this time, I'm getting to like these short dreads more and more. The back of my neck has started to hurt a little, but nothing compared to what it normally is. These haven't really scratched my scalp either, so it's all good. I'm aiming for a 3-week minimun this time, and I guess 5 weeks will be max. After that I'll take them out, dye my hair and perhaps put them back in. Time will tell.

I got some new jewelry from Crazy Factory. Two surgical steel crescents for my left ear, one is 1.6mm and the other one 2mm. I started from a normal thin earring, had a 1mm safety pin (surgical steel, from CF) in it for a week or so, and then yesterday I tried putting the 1.6 in. It went about halfway, then got stuck in a dread, and got tucked in all the way. So I think I've teared my ear too much, cause it hurts now. T_T Plus I lost the little rubber thingies during the night. *sigh* I also got a 3mm plastic plug (the smallest I could find) and a black navel banana with a blue/green "diamond". It's really pretty, and makes a nice change to the one I have. I would've changed the barbell in my tongue to a 14mm one, but it seems I've misplaced those, along with my pretty black moon/star navel ring. I hope they didn't accidentally end up in the trash, cause I can't seem to find them...T__T

Lazy day, I'm tired, since I didn't sleep very well last night, and have been going to bed around 2am. Well, except for last night, I was in bed before 11pm. I know, I surprised myself too. O_o

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Sweet Transvestite

So in the end the dreaded fitting came and went, and it went well enough. I knew I had to adjust the pattern, and I got help with that. (These are still the first pair of pants I'm making...xP) I ended up spending much more time at school than I had originally planned, but at least I didn't have to get there by bike, and mom had her knitting (socks) with her, so she wasn't too bored or annoyed.

We had to go to school via the fabric store, since the piece of fabric we had hoped would be enough turned out to be too small. As usual, the store was out of all good black fabrics, but I did manage to get the end of a roll of this black strech cotton. It's the same fabric I'm making the cat backpack from. Poor kitty bag, I haven't had time to focus on it...=(

All my paper work was in order, but since the pants looked ridiculous, I had to adjust the pattern. Other than that I'm good to continue with the actual pants. The deadline for these is December 16th, so I'll have plenty of time. I'm going to try and figure out something fun to do on Wednesday, so I can get my mind of this project and the stress it's causing me. I have a new big roll of pattern paper now, so no more cheap oven paper (voipaperi) patterns for me! xP

I did a very poor blue&purple look today. I ended up going to bed at 4am and slept until noon, and by the time I had bummed at my computer for two hours, showered and had breakfast, I realized I was in a hurry and had to storm out to hand in the paperwork for what I'm hoping will relieve my financial situation. I'll need to add a paper from my landlord to the mix, but at least I got it handed in before December. Phew. So my make up was done in haste and it sucked ass. I also didn't take pictures of it until I got back home, and by that time my face had gotten all shiny and disgusting. -__-#

I had a really nice dream too, so it sucked to wake up at all. I had a dream about the bass player of my favourite band, which is weird, cause I'm all about their drummer. How fangirly of me, I know, but this band has been with my for nearly ten years, I can't help it...xP Anywho, apparently I had met this guy after a gig once, and he'd fallen for me. Then randomly we met again some time later, he told me he'd been waiting for me ever since and that he was madly in love with me. I fell head over heels for him too, truly madly in love. And I mean that in the most passionate way you can think of to ever feel about someone, I have never experienced love like that in real life. I was ready to have his child for frick's sake! O_o (Newsflash: I hate children. I never want to have one of my own. If I would, I'd most likely adopt one. Saves the world the trouble of having mini-me's running around..) Needless to say, I was bummed to wake up.

Tomorrow will be spent at my parents', where dad will install Win 7 on my laptop. Yes, I'm useless when it comes to computers. xP I'll be bugging my little brother with Xmas present wishes too, so hopefully he'll just point things out and say "I want this" so I can do the same. ^^ I just wish I knew what to get my dad...

I've found new blogs to follow. One of them is Pelottaako?, a blog in Finnish gathering scary stories and spooky stuff. It gives me the creeps, so I wouldn't go there at this time, in the middle of the night...*shivers. Another one that I've failed to mention is this fantastic makeup blog, that I've been following for I think over a month now? The write is a Finnish girl but she writes in English, and man, she is truly an artist! There's also of course Miss Bunnyhopp's blog, but other than that I mostly just follow my friends' blogs. I did stumble upon this one today, and I really admire the talent of the autor. It's a sowing blog in Finnish, and the author is this really cool goth girl posting pictures of her latest fabulous creations.

And no, I don't know any transvestites (not that I have anything against it), nor am I one, I've just been thinking about getting myself a Rocky Horror Picture Show t-shirt.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Still Unknown

I got the fitting pants done! Took ages, but they're done. My mom also dropped by to try them on, so I'll have a general idea of what to fix about them tomorrow. And they do need fixing. =( But at least they're done! I still need to do the law assignment, and gather all the stuff in my folder. I'm really nervous about tomorrow, but I hope it'll be okay.

I've got a bunch of stuff I need to take care of next week. I'm applying for some social welfare, and I need to hand in the paperwork tomorrow so I'll get the money from last month as well. I'm living off the unemployment money, which isn't enough, so I need something to help me pay the rent. I'm also getting some tax refunds in a few days, which enables me to get Xmas presents this year. Not too many though. =(

Speaking of, I found gifts for Miss Bunnyhopp, Mr. Pirate, and one unexpected tiny gift for Miss 80s. ^^ Nothing too fancy, though I will be looking for something to add to Miss Bunnyhopp's present. But I still have four to go. =(

I'll need to make sure I get to the health care center before ten some morning next week too, since I'm scheduled for blood tests. I visited the doctor again last week, and found out that my general dizzyness is caused by my medication. She suggested that since I've been sleeping better, I cut my evening dosage in half, and then leave it out entirely. And it's interesting, after just a few days the dizzyness has become more infrequent.

Almost exactly a year ago I had a deep vein thrombosis in my left leg. The doctors said it was most likely cause by the birth control pills I was taking, since there isn't anything like this in my family medical history. They discovered no issues with my blood clotting, so it was most likely reason for such a thing to happen to me. I took blood-thinning medication for three months, and the first week I had to inject myself in the stomach around my belly button. That was painful, and I don't like to think about it. Anywho, I was told I cannot continue with the birth control pill anymore, and that my only options were condoms and copper intrauterine contraceptive devices (IUCDs). The IUCD feels really uncomfortable to even think about, so pretty much I had no options. But this week my doctor told me I can still use the minipill, so I'm thinking about getting a prescription for those. Not that I have a boyfriend right now tho...xP

I'm really tired...still working on the law assignment though. No rest for the wicked.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Blah blah blah

Argh! I'm really stressed about my school project. I finally got my patterns done today, after a really long time of thinking and calculating and correcting my lines. I also cut the fabric for the fitting pants, but didn't get around sowing it yet. I'll need an early start tomorrow morning to be able to finish them in time. Monday's the second evaluation for this project, so wish me luck.

I really hate being stressed, I start to binge eat without even realizing it. I got a bag of chips, a box of chocolates, and a box of liquorice from the store yesterday, and now... There's a nothing left, I finished the last chocolates a couple minutes ago. I'm gonna be such a fatty...T_T

Miss Bunnyhopp is starting to get excited about Christmas, but my anxiety about the whole holiday is piling up. I like giving presents in general, but Christmas is such a stressful time. I promised to send my Japanese friend an Xmas card, and I'm going to be sending one to Australia too. I love receiving mail, and am glad I've found at least one new friend from this site called Interpals. ^^ I also know what I'm getting Miss Bunnyhopp, and found something tiny for Mr. Pirate, but other than that I have no idea.

Maybe I'll make cookies! Like the ones I made two years ago. They were fun, see for yourselves. xP

Go away Xmas, we don't want you here!

I went shopping yesterday, and got these from H&M. Really cute black velvet shorts, interesting detail in these is that the zipper is on the side and not the front. Picture taken from the back, nice little pocket details (they are actual pockets too, and not just for show). I love them!
Angel Kitty top&panties pyjama, I wanted the black Devil Kitty version too, but couldn't afford both. Gasp, a picture of my unmentionables in the internet, what a scandal!
I wear a lot of skirts and dresses, so I need warm tights or leggins to be able to wear everything I want and still stay somewhat warm in the winter time. I found this set of gray and lavender tights thinking they'd be nice and warm, but it turns out that they're a lot thinner than they look. They are still pretty good, but not as good as I had hoped. =(
Today I bought another two pairs of tights, still not warm enough, but at least I'll have a change while last winter's warm ones are in the wash.

And here you have a picture of me with my new hair. Notice the gigantic bags under my eyes. T__T

I started drawing a pattern for basic pants yesterday, but that plan came crashing down when I realized I don't know where some of the numbers come from. I can't finish the pattern when I don't know the numbers I need or how to calculate them. =( So I haven't been able to make the fitting pants, or adjust the pattern. In other words - I'm screwed. Miss Bunnyhopp's mom is coming by tomorrow, and since she's a teacher of this stuff, she'll hopefully be able to help me figure it all out. Then I'll get the pants done by Sunday, and spend Sunday evening and Monday morning writing out answers for the questions we got on Monday regarding the law stuff. *sigh* I'm stressed out.

I'm also stressed about Xmas presents. Let it be known that I hate Christmas, have hated it for several years now. For various reasons, one of them being the commercialisation of the whole thing. I'm not into the religious bit either, I consider myself agnostic/atheist, and don't belong to church anymore. I was baptised as a baby, and I've gone through confirmation camp, but I didn't find God as a kid going to Sunday school, and I sure as hell (pun intended) didn't during confirmation. I went thorught it because I didn't realize I had a choice. There are lots of things in life I didn't and still don't understand, I'm naive and quite dumb, and religion was one of these things. Now I've made my choice and I'm very happy with it.

Christmas is too commercial. There's Xmas shit everywhere you look, and it creeps into stores already in October. I don't like Christmas decorations, all the tacky santa & elves shit give me the creeps. Bright red and gold have never been my favourite colours, and during Christmastime they make my eyes hurt. I'm more of a blue-silver kinda girl. I think white trees, dark green, blue, violet and silver decorations are okay, as long as they're used in moderation. I hate how people stick Christmas lights everywhere, it's ridiculous and looks horrible. I myself own two pairs of Xmas lights though, one set of blue stars, and a set of pink lights. The pink ones were supposed to be purple, are a year old, and have half faded into yellow. I use them in the wintertime when it gets dark, they make my room so much nicer to be in. Plus they match all the pink shit I have. I'm thinking about using the blue ones this winter though, since the pink ones are turning yellow more and more, and I hate yellow lights. I might get a new LED light set some day.

I hate Christmas carols too, they are tacky and make me feel like my brains are melting. I hate how they are played in every single fucking store you enter in December. I can however think of couple that I actually like, mostly cause they sound so sad to me. Here's one, called "Näin sydämeeni joulun teen". Here's another one "Varpunen jouluaamuna", the lyrics are really melancholic and sad. Sung by Tarja Turunen of Nightwish. And my absolute favourite, "Tulkoon Joulu".

I hate Christmas foods too. I don't like ham, I don't like liver casserole, carrot casserole, rutabaga/swede casserole, rosolli (it's made with red beets, carrots, potatoes and onion) and most of all, rice porridge. Yuck. I also hate most of the Xmas chocolates, cause they are boring and filled with crap. The ones I like include Daim, Brunberg (truffel chocolates), and Budapest (nougat? chocolates). Speaking of chocolates and Christmas, I got a Winnie the Pooh Xmas calender with chocolates in it. I don't like Winnie the Pooh (Nalle Puh) or Piglet (Nasu), nor that rabbit person (Kani), but I do love Eeyore (Ihaa) and Tiger (Tiikeri) is nice too. And Heffalump (Möhköfantti)! I haven't seen Heffalump movie yet though. =( I'll post a picture of the calendar later, I don't have one yet.

I hate not being able to get presents for everyone I want. It's also really hard to find presents for my dad and my brother. I think my list of people who to get presents this year include my family members, Miss Bunnyhopp, my ex, Mr. Pirate, Mikichan, and My Siamese Twin. So not too many presents to get. I'll make cards for others, and I have an idea for a tiny gift I can make if I have time. Boys are really hard to shop for. =( I found what I'm getting for my mom though, so that's one down, seven to go. ^^

Okay, I think I've bored everyone to tears right about now, so I guess I'll end this here.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Just wanted to share what I made at school today, since I actually finished something. Half-finished projects ftw! \(^_^)/

A fleece shirt I started aeons ago, but finally finished (I made it
way too big originally). It was supposed to have D-rings in both sleeves, but the trim I used with the D-rings was too rigid, and I ended up taking the whole thing away. The paw trim is really cute, don't you think? ^^

The pink skirt I've been talking about. It's more of a lavender pink, or as one of my ex-boyfriends would call it, pinkle. A purplish pink. The roses are brown, so I used a brown zipper. It's quite oo-la-la, and makes my butt look good. ^^

Yes, I had a pink day, I confess, I'm a pinkaholic! So sue me! T__T ...I've done so much black stuff until now, I think I'm entitled to some pink stuff for a change...

I'll post pictures of my sowing projects again once I have something concrete to show.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

So Much Is Lost

I've been missing Pepper Lunch, so today I thought I'd make a me-version of my favourite dish there. Mostly just because I had some pork in the freezer, and it came with a pepper butter thingy that I really want to use with rice. The pork chunks are massive though, so it'll be very different from the original, but at least I'll feel nostalgic. ^^

I've meant to write a post earlier, but I kept postponing it and now it's been two days since my last update. On Monday we spent all evening listening to law stuff, and didn't get any sowing done. Annoying. I kept undoing the seams of a shirt I've made earlier that turned out too big in the end. I managed to resow a couple of the seams on our break, but the shirt is still unfinished. I'll be finishing that one today, and making a hooded crop top.

Speaking of tops, my Lip Service clothes finally arrived. I got the Cybertronic Ragdoll Cap Sleeve Hoodie, Cybertronic Ragdoll Nano Factory Mini Dress (both brand spanking new) and the In Vain (? Couldn't find the specifics) Hoodie, which was used, but looks brand new. Love! The Cybertronic Hoodie cost me 41e+shipping, the dress 59e+shipping, and the Vain Hoodie 35e ( Hoodies both fit perfectly, and are a size L, but the dress is giving me grief. It's an XL, and it fits nicely around my chest, but is way too lose from the waist, and the neckpiece is choking me. I may need to sell it, which I really don't want to do, or modify it to fit my needs, which I know will make people kill me for committing such blasphemous act! xP I'll see which option wins. For now, I'll lock it safely in my closet.

Miss Bunnyhopp received some mail as well, she got a whole bunch of double-ended dreads she had bought on ebay. So I spent Monday evening braiding them in her hair. We made a deal so I got to keep the dreads she didn't need herself, and I spent yesterday braiding them in my hair. I feel gorgeous again, I love having a full head of hair. I no longer need to be angsty about my own hair, which is nice for a change. It's gotten to the lenght where it keeps pissing me off, cause I need to start styling it in order to like how it looks. -__- Pain in the ass. The dreads are so much more simple, and always look nice. It'll just be a pain in the ass to dry them if we manage to squeeze in more time at the gym and the pools... It's interesting how well the dreads match my hair, since I had no idea Miss Bunnyhopp had bought them. They're mostly black/white ones with a few lilac ones mixed in. Funny how that goes. ^^

Oh and here's my makeup 3 days in a row. Monday was pink and white, Tuesday was gray, and today purple and silver. Same eyebrows in all, I just love that Wet'n'Wild lilac eyeliner pen...^^

Gah, I haven't gotten much done today. I did clean up my room and make dinner, so I guess that's okay. What I was supposed to do however was draw patterns for my big sowing project. I've got a fitting on the 30th and I haven't even drawn the patterns for the pants!

I found myself looking at me thinking 'Sini' today...not even looking in the mirror, I was making dinner and looking down at the frying pan, I saw my arms and the dreads hanging from my head and I just thought that's my sister... It's quite...confusing. I look at myself and I see her, but when I look in the mirror, she's gone. It's me again. I don't know what's happening...

"My identity is not real..."

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A Day in the Life

Gah, this day will never end! And I still need to be awake at 3am, when an item I've been watching ends on ebay. Grr!

I've been really bored and in my usual Sunday blues, especially since Mr. Fatso (again, if I don't know what you'd like to be referred to, I'll make something up. And I'm not necessarily nice. I changed what I originally called you here. Be happy!) invited his friends to a spa resort to celebrate his big three-oh. Nobody's been at their computers all day, so I've just been watching everything I could get my hands on. On season 3 of Dexter now.

To take advantage of my boredom I took under a hairdye project, and after bleaching and dyeing my hair is now lavender/black. The lavender is really nice, although quite pale, so I hope it stayes a little better than Stargazer or Phantasy. I cut my bangs a little shorter, and once again feel quite weirded out that it's so short. I haven't decided what to do with t
he sides yet. I'm thinking I'll shave some of it completely, maybe tomorrow brings upon another change.

I also trie
d out a two-tone pill stud in my tongue, I bought 3 of them ages ago but still haven't tried them out. The plastic pill reeks! Even after boiling it still smelled pretty bad, luckily I can't taste it thouhg. It's not very practical either, eating is quite hard, and it feels like I have a plastic spoon in my mouth all the time. I think the barbell is a bit too long. My left arm hurts from where I was injected. I can't sleep on my left side because of the pain, my arm is really sore. Hopefully it'll ease up in a couple of days. The right one is completely fine, only if I press the injection spot it hurts. Huh, I seem to have a little fever as well, I'm not feeling it though. I'm just a little sleepy, have been all day. I've got an upset stomach, but I don't know if that's because of the shots or something else. Annoying. I smell like death.

Tomorrow is law stuff at school, but we'll have time to do some sowing as well, so I should prepare something to take with me. I'll keep the backpack as my home project for this month, as well as finishing the pink skirt, so I'm not sure what I should do. I have several unfinished projects w
aiting, so maybe I should just pick one of those up, but I don't really feel like it. I feel like starting something new.

And yeah, I need to draw the patterns for the pants next week, and make the proto pants, since we scheduled a fitting for the 30th. I don't even know what I need to have prepared for the second evaluation, but I guess I'll just ask tomorrow. The finished pants need to be handed in December 16th, that much I do know, but for the second idea.

I really feel like sowing, but it's nearing midnight, so I re
ally can't. Maybe tomorrow morning. Also need to clean up my room, my floor has gotten quite messy. I have this matress cube sitting around in the living room, and I think I might bring it in here to use as an extra chair to put my clothes in at the end of my bed. I'll see about it tomorrow.

Btw, I've fallen in love with my Elegant Minerals Vanilla &
Oatmeal Facial Bar, it makes my face squeaky clean. *heart* >
And once again this post took me like 4 hours to write...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Monkeys and bunnies

Sorry for the late update. It's not that I've been busy, quite the opposite. Miss Bunnyhopp and I didn't get invited to a birthday party and I'm kinda miffed about it. Mainly because of the missed opportunity to see more than one friend at a time. =/

Miss Bunnyhopp and I spent 70 minutes at the gym yesterday, but didn't really spend any time swimming. Too tired, my legs had turned into spaghetti by the time I got to the pool. After that we went and had chinese food, but since we didn't order from their lunch menu, we had to pay full price. I was really annoyed by that because it didn't use to matter before, but for some reason now they've changed their policies I guess. The meatballs were still good, so no complaints. Yes, I had meatballs at a chinese restaurant, and they were fantastic!

It was interesting, on that same trip we both bumped into our exes, and only one of those was awkward. MBH's ex is completely avoiding her these days (he owes her money and refuses to pay up, whiny bitch) and me as well. My ex was just heading for some lunch with a friend when we met him. It was interesting to see him again, I haven't seem him since the snow thing, and haven't really talked to him after that either. I have to say, I no longer imagine we could still fix things and be together. For now I'm just mourning what we had, but hopeful that our friendship can still be repaired. It is too soon for me to see him with this new girl though, but I'll get there. ^^; This time history will not repeat itself!

Yesterday evening Miss Bunnyhopp took over my bed, stared at my stuff and then said we could make monkey bags. For those of you who don't know me, I have this big black monkey skeleton bag that my sister bought while visiting me in Japan. It may not sound like it, but it's in fact really cute. Miss Bunnyhopp had some white PVC, and said she wanted to make one, so we started drawing out the skeleton pattern and cutting the PVC.

This morning I went to the health care center to get the swine flu vaccination, and I was preparing for another 1-2 hour queue. I was happily surprised when I got there, there weren't too many cars, and no queue outside. No visible queue inside either, and when I got to the waiting room, there were only 5 people before me. (^_^)/ I got the seasonal influenza shot as well, so I have tiny bandaids on both of my shoulders. xP The piggy one hurts a little, but nothing else to report about that. If I wake up tomorrow with a snout, then I suggest you not to get the shot...

I didn't even get around eating breakfast after coming home (I was in a hurry once again, so left home without eating), since we headed out to the fabric store to get black fabric for the bags. We didn't manage to find any adjustment buckles though, so I'm not sure what I should do about the shoulder straps. My bag is going to be a cat, well, more like a tiger, and I'll put two shoulder straps on it to make it a backpack. The original monkey one only has one.

I'm surprised my muscles aren't too sore yet. The only ones that hurt are the ones I'm sitting on. xP My arms are a little sore, but that's mainly because of the shots.

Nothing special for makeup today, the same old basic style. I don't know how I should adjust my pictures, cause the black looks gray and you can't really see the white in the inner corners either. =(

Oh and depression wise today wasn't so great: I was cutting the fabric in Miss Bunnyhopp's room, I had my contacts on, I realised I can't see close all too well. There was also a really strange smell coming from the neighbour's appartment, and I just started feeling anxious. I managed to pick up what was happening when my breathing got really uneven and fast. I tried to take deep breaths and I got up, went to get some apple juice and sat on the living room sofa for a while, just breathing. It helped, and the anxiety passed. I just haven't felt all that great the rest of the day. =/

Especially when I tried to play with MBH's bunny (She really does have one, a white fluffy lion bunny. It growls.) and she just kept hopping away from me. In the end she was poking my hand asking me to pet her some more, so all was forgiven. ^^

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Gyah, I need my daily dosage of Supernatural, but I've already caught up to date...T_T Oh well, luckily there's a new episode on tomorrow. ^^ Oh no, I'm turning into a fangirl! T__T

I had my appointment with the mental health nurse today. I poured her the major facts of my life, she said I've been through a lot, and that she would like to see me a few times more. So I'm going back next month, and I have to take a few photographs with me so we can discuss them.

I also have a check-up with the doctor next week to see how the meds are working for me. So far I can say it's good. I sleep better, my appetite is back, and my suicidal thoughts are gone. I still feel somewhat anxious at times, and I'm defitinely not a 100%, but I'm getting there.

Miss Bunn
yhopp has been sowing all day, and I feel kinda bad I haven't done advanced any of my sowing projects, but I'll catch up tomorrow. We're heading to the gym again, both really determined to lose weight and tone down. At least we have a mutual goal, even though she weighs about 12kg less than I do atm...T__T I just can't keep a diet...I wish my appetite was still gone. =( I also plan to go through my stuff and try to sell whatever I don't use, need or have an emotional attachment to. So far I've only listed a couple of plushies, a skirt, and some tiny junk. You can see what I have for sale here.

I had an energy drink today, for the first time in months, and I really felt the effects. It's weird, I take these pills to help me sleep, and now I take an energy drink to stay alert. xP I ran some errands today, so it was okay.

Oh, I'm really excited: I bought a Lip Service hoodie last night, a used one, I hope it's the right size. I also hope Miss Bunnyhopp doesn't kill me once she finds out I bought another Lip Service hoodie and a minidress too, from the same collection she has stuff's not my fault she saw
them first, and it's not my fault I happened to stumble across them for a bargain...they're new, so if they don't fit me, I can always sell them, Lip Service happens to have excellent resale value...^^

I should clean up my room again, I'm too messy even though I've tried to tidy up after myself. =(

Ooh, I managed to find a picture of my makeup the d
ay my camera died, I got like one decent shot before the batteries ran out.